Issue121 fantasy组23日作业，来拍吧！

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

第二篇一休，依然严重超时，字数也严重超标，大家多指正结构，看着难受就别勉强了啊！欢迎指正啊！

Issue121
"At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save an endangered species."
----------------------
提纲：

观点：In the past， natural processes 中的extinction不可避免，但是at present在当今的人类活动遍布地球每个角落，正是人类算行为直接或间接导致了extinction，生物多样性和生态平衡的破坏最终威胁人类生存，并且很多species中蕴藏丰富的可为人类造福的资源，人类放任自己破还这些物种对人类自身和大自然都是极大的损失，所以，人类非常有必要保护那些受人类某些行为威胁的species并且停止对环境的破坏。

1。过去的灭绝时代久远，周期常，且灭绝的同时重生，没有人类存在（摆数据）；目前的灭绝速度相比惊人（摆数据）
查extinction红皮书，
2。当今的灭绝主要时人为因素，举例子。如果不去保护，人类也会遭殃，人类必须承担责任。
南极冰层发现DDT
查silentspring
3。灭绝的物种对人类本身的生存与发展也是损失
查有仿生价值的例子，某蛙的抗生素，动物化学家；植物的药用价值；紫杉醇
Another reason to preserve the world's biodiversity is the vast potential for new medicines that can be formulated from compounds in plants.
-----------------------------------
正文
“If the Earth is an ark carrying all living things,” a British environmentalist Norman Myers has said, "then it is a sinking ark." We may find this horrendous statement  a veracious one if we could acquaint ourselves with the fact--which is agreed by most scientist--that life on Earth is now faced with the most severe extinction episode since the event that force the dinosaurs to die out.

   Admittedly, scientists have recognized five global extinction events, called five mass extinctions, at various times in the past 500 million years. The cause of these five mass extinctions, believed by many scientists, was a catastrophic event such as a collision of a meteorite with the Earth or a gigantic volcanic eruption. What is worth mentioning here lies in that even the latest one of the five extinctions occurred 65 million years ago, a period that is rather long before the advent of the human era. And on average, as estimated by certain scholars, during the agelong geological past without human footprints, an ordinary century saw 25 species die off; meanwhile, new species appeared. When it goes to the present age, however, with the help of increasingly expanding human society, this number turns to as many as 27,000 species are becoming extinct each year, which can translate into an astounding 3 species every hour. Even a primary school student can tell the distinctness between the two groups of statistics cited above, how can we Homo sapiens dare to say the alarming situation, so called a sixth mass extinction, is none of our business?

   Further examples can reveal that instead of global natural calamity, human is the very cause of the latest mass extinctions. Firstly, species might be extinct or endangered because the destruction of habitats by human activities. Human are always busily engaged in such activities as drainage of wetlands, transformation of shrub lands into farming lands, cutting and sweeping of forests, and dam construction, which may thoroughly destroy available habitats. For supporting examples, one need look no further than the deforestation that has reduced the tropical rain forests into about half their original size. Secondly, worldwide commercial exploitation of animals and plants has threatened many species. For instance, the wild Asian elephant, slaughtered for the ivory, is in the brink of extinction. The whale fishing, containing profitable business of oil or meat, has lead to extinction of many whale species. Moreover, pollution, malformation of modern industry, has become the most terrible criminal who destroys ecosystems even in remote deserts and in the world’s deepest oceans. The famous pesticide DDT, which nearly killed all the brown pelican and the bald eagle in America around 1970s, can be detected in Antarctic glacier after being banned for decades. Not to mention the direct jeopardize of the pollutant have on the environment, just on thinking about how toxic chemicals like this concentrated in food chains and strongly affect the species near the top of the chain--including us human species, we will not regard us human beings as excluding the danger of extinction.

   As asserted above, human society is responsible for solving the existing problem of damage to world's biodiversity. It is not only because human are the prime criminal of the destructions of ecosystems, but also for the sake that we can benefit from the healthy and diversiform natural resources. Sufficient oxygen, food, as well as medicine give us all reasons to preserve the species and maintain the biodiversity in the Earth. Take the medicine for example, nearly 40 percent of our modern pharmaceutical medicines are derived from plants or animals. One certain chemical formulated from a component distilled form the leaves of gingko--an endangered and unique plant preserved by Chinese government--is a specific medicine in treating cardiopathy and hypertension. A fine example in the United States is the discovery that a compound, extracted from the Pacific yew tree, is effective in treating breast and ovarian cancer. An extinction species of frog, as reported by some biologists, can produce a fabulous antibiotic that no other synthetic one can compare with. Yet, the potential medicinial uses of plants and animals are primarily untapped. In this case, it will be quite a sorrow of us not to treasure the abundance of gifts that the mother Earth bestowed on us.

   In sum, the current global extinction crisis is one of the greatest challenges posed by the rapid industrial growth and expansion of human society. The protection of endangered species and habitats should be a top priority for human society if we hold the hope for a sound biological diversity and well-liking world for future generations.

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

多谢各位拍的同时分享一下限时的经验，大家是在过了题库的情况下限时的吗？
我还没过题库，都没敢限时啊，没时间了，专业的关系，弄得写东西还喜欢查文献，慢死了，郁闷啊！！结果不限时写这么多，辛苦大家了！！

西湖龙井UID: 2104345

回去看看，明天贴意见

modeuxUID: 2107416

If the Earth is an ark carrying all living things,” a British environmentalist Norman Myers has said, "then it is a sinking ark." We may find this horrendous statement  a veracious one if we could acquaint ourselves with the fact--which is agreed by most scientist--that life on Earth is now faced with 这里with不需要the most severe extinction episode since the event that force the dinosaurs to die out.

   Admittedly, scientists have recognized five global extinction events, called five mass extinctions, at various times in the past 500 million years. The cause of these five mass extinctions, believed by many scientists, was a catastrophic event such as a collision of a meteorite with the Earth or a gigantic volcanic eruption. What is worth mentioningmentioned here lies in that even the latest one of the five extinctions occurred 65 million years ago, a period that is rather long before the advent of the human era. And on average, as estimated by certain scholars, during the age long geological past without human footprints, an ordinary century saw 25 species die off; meanwhile, new species appeared. When it goes to the present age, however, with the help of increasingly expanding human society, this number turns to as many as 27,000 species are becoming extinct each year, which can translate into an astounding 3 species every hour. Even a primary school student can tell the distinctness between the two groups of statistics cited above, how can we Homo sapiens dare to say the alarming situation, so called a sixth mass extinction, is none of our business?

   Further examples can reveal that instead of global natural calamity, human is the very cause of the latest mass extinctions. Firstly, species might be extinct or endangered because the destruction of habitats by human activities. Human are always busily engaged in such activities as drainage of wetlands, transformation of shrub lands into farming lands, cutting and sweeping of forests, and dam construction, which may thoroughly destroy available habitats. For supporting examples, one needto look no further than the deforestation that has reduced the tropical rain forests into about half their original size. Secondly, worldwide commercial exploitation of animals and plants has threatened many species. For instance, the wild Asian elephant, slaughtered for the ivory, is in the brink of extinction. The whale fishing, containing profitable business of oil or meat, has lead to extinction of many whale species. Moreover, pollution, malformation of modern industry, has become the most terrible criminal who destroys ecosystems even in remote deserts and in the world’s deepest oceans. The famous pesticide DDT, which nearly killed all the brown pelican and the bald eagle in America around 1970s, can be detected in Antarctic glacier after being banned for decades. Not to mention the direct jeopardize of the pollutant have on the environment, just on thinking about how toxic chemicals like this concentrated in food chains and strongly affect the species near the top of the chain--including us human species, we will not regard us human beings as excluding the danger of extinction.

   As asserted above 开头句最好不要出现这样的Transition Word，因为开头句一般写成这段内容的Topic Sentence，文章里你的这三个论点是并列的，这段论述的是物种对人类的价值，直接在这一句的开头提出就好了，写成“as asserted above”就不好了, human society is responsible for solving the existing problem of damage to world's biodiversity. It is not only because human are the prime criminal of the destructions of ecosystems, 还是上面说的问题，这段的内容写的是生物的价值，not only的内容就不要在这段内提了 but also for the sake that we can benefit from the healthy and diversiform natural resources. Sufficient oxygen, food, as well as medicine give us all reasons to preserve the species and maintain the biodiversity in the Earth. TakeTaking the medicine for example, nearly 40 percent of our modern pharmaceutical medicines are derived from plants or animals. One certain chemical formulated from a component distilled form the leaves of gingko--an endangered and unique plant preserved by Chinese government--is a specific medicine in in好像有点多余treating cardiopathy and hypertension. A fine example in the United States is the discovery that a compound, extracted from the Pacific yew tree, is effective in treating breast and ovarian cancer. An extinction species of frog, as reported by some biologists, can produce a fabulous antibiotic that no other synthetic one can compare with. Yet, the potential medicinial medicaluses of plants and animals are primarily untapped. In this case, it will be quite a sorrow of us not to treasure the abundance of gifts that the mother Earth bestowed on us.

   In sum, the current global extinction crisis is one of the greatest challenges posed by the rapid industrial growth and expansion of human society. The protection of endangered species and habitats should be a top priority for human society if we hold the hope for a sound biological diversity and well-liking world for future generations.
最后说一下，感觉主要问题就是出在倒数第二段，按照无数大牛总结的经验，每一段严格只陈述一个观点，并且第一句以TS开头，最好在段尾再加一句总结句。并且在一段内不要引入别段的内容，更不要用到转折之类。这样的写法虽然猥琐，但是显得文章的条理绝对的清晰。

skeptic_liuUID: 2118334

“If the Earth is an ark carrying all living things,” a British environmentalist Norman Myers has said, "then it is a sinking ark." We may find this horrendous statement  a veracious one if we could acquaint ourselves with the fact--which is agreed by most scientist--that life on Earth is now faced with the most severe extinction episode since the event that force the dinosaurs to die out.

   Admittedly, scientists have recognized five global extinction events, called five mass extinctions, at various times in the past 500 million years. The cause of these five mass extinctions, believed by many scientists, was a catastrophic event such as a collision of a meteorite with the Earth or a gigantic volcanic eruption. What is worth mentioning here lies in that even the latest one of the five extinctions occurred 65 million years ago, a period that is rather long before the advent of the human era. And on average, as estimated by certain scholars, during the agelong geological past without human footprints这些确实显示了作者渊博的学识，不过放在本文中好像联系不太大，可用两个较简单的句子代过即可, an ordinary century saw 25 species die off; meanwhile, new species appeared. When it goes to the present age, however, with the help of increasingly expanding human society, this number turns to as many as 27,000 species are becoming extinct each year, which can translate into an astounding 3 species every hour. 确切数字，看得出来很真实，有力！,Even a primary school student can tell the distinctness between the two groups of statistics cited above, how can we Homo sapiens dare to say the alarming situation, so called a sixth mass extinction, is none of our business?同样是说人类有责任，你写的比我的好多了:)

   Further examples can reveal that instead of global natural calamity, human is the very cause of the latest mass extinctions. Firstly, species might be extinct or endangered because the destruction of habitats by human activities. Human are always busily engaged in such activities as drainage of wetlands, transformation of shrub lands into farming lands, cutting and sweeping of forests, and dam construction, which may thoroughly destroy available habitats. For supporting examples, one need look no further than the deforestation that has reduced the tropical rain forests into about half their original size. Secondly, worldwide commercial exploitation of animals and plants has threatened many species. For instance, the wild Asian elephant, slaughtered for the ivory, is in the brink of extinction. The whale fishing, containing profitable business of oil or meat, has lead to extinction of many whale species. Moreover, pollution, malformation of modern industry, has become the most terrible criminal who destroys ecosystems even in remote deserts and in the world’s deepest oceans. The famous pesticide DDT, which nearly killed all the brown pelican and the bald eagle in America around 1970s, can be detected in Antarctic glacier after being banned for decades. Not to mention the direct jeopardize of the pollutant have on the environment, just on thinking about how toxic chemicals like this concentrated in food chains and strongly affect the species near the top of the chain--including us human species, we will not regard us human beings as excluding the danger of extinction.多角度说明人类的责任，但是原文的重点应该是保护，强调保护的必要性，我觉得~~,

   As asserted above, human society is responsible for solving the existing problem of damage to world's biodiversity. It is not only because human are the prime criminal of the destructions of ecosystems, but also for the sake that we can benefit from the healthy and diversiform natural resources. Sufficient oxygen, food, as well as medicine give us all reasons to preserve the species and maintain the biodiversity in the Earth. Take the medicine for example, nearly 40 percent of our modern pharmaceutical medicines are derived from plants or animals. One certain chemical formulated from a component distilled form the leaves of gingko--an endangered and unique plant preserved by Chinese government--is a specific medicine in treating cardiopathy and hypertension. A fine example in the United States is the discovery that a compound, extracted from the Pacific yew tree, is effective in treating breast and ovarian cancer. An extinction species of frog, as reported by some biologists, can produce a fabulous antibiotic that no other synthetic one can compare with. Yet, the potential medicinial uses of plants and animals are primarily untapped. In this case, it will be quite a sorrow of us not to treasure the abundance of gifts that the mother Earth bestowed on us.明确！有力！不过LZ是限时写出的吗？如此强的例证是我努力的目标！

   In sum, the current global extinction crisis is one of the greatest challenges posed by the rapid industrial growth and expansion of human society. The protection of endangered species and habitats should be a top priority for human society if we hold the hope for a sound biological diversity and well-liking world for future generations.

此篇文章充实饱满，值得学习，一点小建议，针对本题，将3做更好扩充，而理由1，2可以适当合并，因为责任并不能直接推出我们要特别保护，需求才是直接因果，有点像argu了~~ 如果lz有不同意见一起讨论呵：〉

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

不是限时写的，自己又是环保分子，对这些的数据什么的很了解，写得太过个人倾向了，多谢各位的指教。
关于我的破题，不知为什么，我在issue题里看到很多这种结论的得出基于的原因或前提不正确的题，就想从原因前提下手写，是否不行呢？我看到的老外或是其他的范文感觉观点角度很多啊，是不是每一题都要有固定的切题角度呢，困惑中啊！

寝室的姐妹要北上读研了，惜别了一天，没有写作业，各位的精神值得学习啊，大家都在限时吧，我这才是第二篇，555