Issue11 Fantasy互改群8.25

modeuxUID: 2107416

题目：
13.All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems.

提纲：
1、很多顽固问题是全球性的，需要全球性的大学提高各个国家之间的合作与交流。
2、全球性的大学能够促进不同文化观念之间的理解融合，有利于减少冲突。
3、不可否认的是，要实现这样的目标有很多实际操作上的困难。

正文：
In contemporary society, with the rapid development of technology and civilization, numerous society problems also come out, some of which may cause great threat to human's living if not solved as soon as possible. In my point of view, the author's suggestion, which is to establish a global university to provide a platform for students all over the world to take part in the processes of solving the world's most persistent social problems, is very meaningful and should gain support from all the nations in the world.

To begin with, many of the most persistent social problems are always related to many nations, rather than a single nation. Such problems, pollution, energy crisis, and depletion of ozone, are all the international problems which we all human beings are confronted and worry about. Firstly, it is obviously impossible, and also incompetence for a single nation to solve them, since these problems do impair the mutual living circumstance for all the nations. Thus we should rely on the whole human beings' efforts to face and solve these problems, and it is necessary and beneficial to establish a global university to enhance the cooperation between all the nations. Secondly, every nation may regard these problems on their own standpoint, and that will inevitably cause one-sided and insufficient views. Thus it is necessary for all the nations to carry out more communication and understand with each other, finally to acquire the most reasonable and efficient methods to treat these problems. Due to the above-mentioned, a global university could provide a platform for communication and cooperation of people from all over the world, and play an important part in solving the most persistent social problems.

In addition, a global university will advance the mutual comprehension and acceptance of various conceptions from different nations, which is very helpful to reduce conflicts between them. Every kind of nation has its own distinct cultures, conceptions and beliefs. Sometimes it is unavoidable to cause incompatibility between different nations' cultures or beliefs, and that will unfortunately lend to conflicts, even wars. Here are two examples: the Crusade which was a large-scale war between Christians and Muslims in history, and the persistent wars in Middle East between Islams and Jews. The root of these religion wars can be ascribed to the conflict of their cultures, especially beliefs. Both sides in the wars have their strong loyalty to their beliefs, which makes them to exclude even antagonize each other, and finally leads to the tragedies. Actually, when facing conflicts, people should not be exclusive to different standpoints, which could help them to regard the problems in a comprehensive point of view, even the opposite standpoints could also provide disparate aspects to their comprehension of the problems. The more confusion and mutual acceptance of different cultures will do help to promote the cohesion of the human race, and therefore a global university would contribute to the problems' solution.

However, it is no denying that there are some operational difficulties in establishing such a global university. The following problems must be considered first: (1) What location do we establish the university in? It is obviously impractical to fit all the nations' requirements. (2) How do the students from all over the world converse and communicate with each other, with various languages? (3) How do we establish the curriculum for the students with distinct cultural background, and what is the criteria? Without successfully solving above problems, the suggestion would just a beautiful hope for us.

To sum up, from what has been discussed above, we can finally draw a conclusion that to establish a global university will be a valuable decision for the whole human race to help solve many persistent problems. All the nations should pay great attention to the suggestion, despite some possible pragmatic difficulties involved.

今天的作文写的时候感觉语言组织的不好，不知道大家看起来会不会有困难，
另外大家帮忙看看我In addition一段是不是又有点偏题了，
唉郁闷~~~

[ Last edited by modeux on 2005-8-25 at 20:12 ]

modeuxUID: 2107416

呵呵，flealda MM，还没看到你贴今天的文章
贴好了帮你修改~~~

modeuxUID: 2107416

意见收到。
的确那一段的例子举的不好，
十字军东征和中东战争的例子太极端了一点，
和论点扣的不是很紧~~~

另外刚改了你的文章，竟然提到了中国足球，呵呵~~~

flealdaUID: 2118390

你再看看我的那篇
在你之后的回答
呵呵

modeuxUID: 2107416

感觉你的文章在进步，
我倒是退步了，呵呵
sigh~~~

batterflyUID: 196681

In contemporary society, with the rapid development of technology and civilization, numerous society problems also（去掉） come out, some of which may cause great threat to human's living if (they are) not solved as soon as possible. In my point of view, the author's suggestion, which is to establish a global university to provide a platform for students all over the world to take part in the processes of solving the world's most persistent social problems, is very meaningful and should (be)gain support from all the nations in the world.开头不错哦:)

To begin with, many of the most persistent social problems are always related to many nations, rather than a single nation. Such problems, pollution, energy crisis, and depletion of ozone, are all the international problems which we all human beings are confronted and worry about. Firstly, it is obviously impossible, and also incompetence for a single nation to solve them, since these problems do impair the mutual living circumstance for all the nations. Thus we should rely on the whole human beings' efforts to face and solve these problems, and it is necessary and beneficial to establish a global university to enhance the cooperation between all the nations. Secondly, every nation may regard these problems on their own standpoint, and that will inevitably cause one-sided and insufficient views. Thus it is necessary for all the nations to carry out more communication and understand with each other, finally to acquire the most reasonable and efficient methods to treat these problems. Due to the above-mentioned, a global university could provide a platform for communication and cooperation of people from all over the world, and play an important part in solving the most persistent social problems.（觉得这一段可以分成两部分好一些，一部分写现在的问题一般是关系到很多的国家，一部分写建立全国性的大学对于解决这些全球性问题的好处之一，这样比较能和下面一段联系起来，不然，这一段的ts在说问题的全球性，下一段：除此之外，全球性大学………………，感觉比较突然）

In addition, a global university will advance the mutual comprehension and acceptance of various conceptions from different nations, which is very helpful to reduce conflicts between them. Every kind of nation has its own distinct cultures, conceptions and beliefs. Sometimes it is unavoidable to cause incompatibility between different nations' cultures or beliefs, and that will unfortunately lend to conflicts, even wars. Here are two examples: the Crusade which was a large-scale war between Christians and Muslims in history, and the persistent wars in Middle East between Islams and Jews. The root of these religion wars can be ascribed to the conflict of their cultures, especially beliefs. Both sides in the wars have their strong loyalty to their beliefs, which makes them to exclude even antagonize each other, and finally leads to the tragedies. Actually, when facing conflicts, people should not be exclusive to different standpoints, which could help them to regard the problems in a comprehensive point of view, even the opposite standpoints could also provide disparate aspects to their comprehension of the problems. The more confusion and mutual acceptance of different cultures will do help to promote the cohesion of the human race, and therefore a global university would contribute to the problems' solution.（这一段重点有点偏，觉得举的例子应该说明全球性大学在解决国家之间由于相互理解不够产生的conflict的时候所以到的作用，但是楼主把大部分篇幅给了例子的描述，最后只有一句话therefore a global university would contribute to the problems' solution）

However, it is no denying that there are some operational difficulties in establishing such a global university. The following problems must be considered first: (1) What location do we establish the university in? It is obviously impractical to fit all the nations' requirements. (2) How do the students from all over the world converse and communicate with each other, with various languages?（这个问题~~~好像在现在不是一个问题了，不是都说英语吗？现在美国很多大学里面都是多民族的学生阿） (3) How do we establish the curriculum for the students with distinct cultural background, and what is the criteria? Without successfully solving above problems, the suggestion would just a beautiful hope for us.

To sum up, from what has been discussed above, we can finally draw a conclusion that to establish a global university will be a valuable decision for the whole human race to help solve many persistent problems. All the nations should pay great attention to the suggestion, despite some possible pragmatic difficulties involved.

思路不错，内容切题
注意语法问题和段与段之间的衔接问题
呵呵，总体不错哦！！加油！！:)

[ Last edited by batterfly on 2005-8-25 at 23:23 ]

foreveraUID: 202035

In contemporary society, with the rapid development of technology and civilization, numerous society problems also come out, some of which may cause great threat to human's living if not solved as soon as possible. 前面这几句罗嗦点了In my point of view, the author's suggestion, which is to establish a global university to provide a platform for students all over the world to take part in the processes of solving the world's most persistent social problems, is very meaningful and should gain support from all the nations in the world.

To begin with, many of the most persistent social problems are always related to many nations, rather than a single nation.后面少点东西吧？加上所以global university对整个世界都有好处，而不是a single country是不是好一点？ Such problems, pollution, energy crisis, and depletion of ozone ozone hole, are all the international problems which we all human beings are confronted and worry about. Firstly, it is obviously impossible, and also incompetence for a single nation to solve them, since these problems do impair the mutual living circumstance for all the nations. Thus we should rely on the whole human beings' efforts to face and solve these problems, and it is necessary and beneficial to establish a global university to enhance the cooperation between all the nations. Secondly, every nation may regard these problems on their own standpoint, and that will inevitably cause one-sided and insufficient views. Thus it is necessary for all the nations to carry out more communication and understand with each other, finally to acquire the most reasonable and efficient methods to treat these problems. Due to the above-mentioned, a global university could provide a platform for communication and cooperation of people from all over the world, and play an important part in solving the most persistent social problems.

In addition, a global university will advance the mutual comprehension and acceptance of various conceptions from different nations, which is very helpful to reduce conflicts between them和上一段的second好象很相似. Every kind of nation has its own distinct cultures, conceptions and beliefs. Sometimes it is unavoidable to cause incompatibility between different nations' cultures or beliefs, and that will unfortunately lend to conflicts, even wars. Here are two examples: the Crusade which was a large-scale war between Christians and Muslims in history, and the persistent wars in Middle East between Islams and Jews.最好举上和university有关的例子，这样会更扣题目 The root of these religion wars can be ascribed to the conflict of their cultures, especially beliefs. Both sides in the wars have their strong loyalty to their beliefs, which makes them to exclude even antagonize each other, and finally leads to the tragedies. Actually, when facing conflicts, people should not be exclusive to different standpoints, which could help them to regard the problems in a comprehensive point of view, even the opposite standpoints could also provide disparate aspects to their comprehension of the problems. The more confusion and mutual acceptance of different cultures will do help to promote the cohesion of the human race, and therefore a global university would contribute to the problems' solution.后半段都没有和university联系起来，这段并没有跑题，而是和题目联系的不紧密，只是最后一句匆匆的说了一句university。

However, it is no denying that there are some operational difficulties in establishing such a global university. The following problems must be considered first: (1) What location do we establish the university in? It is obviously impractical to fit all the nations' requirements. (2) How do the students from all over the world converse and communicate with each other, with various languages? (3) How do we establish the curriculum for the students with distinct cultural background, and what is the criteria? Without successfully solving above problems, the suggestion would just a beautiful hope 希望是能实现的，应该是幻想吧。for us.

To sum up, from what has been discussed above, we can finally draw a conclusion that to establish a global university will be a valuable decision for the whole human race to help solve many persistent problems. All the nations should pay great attention to the suggestion, despite some possible pragmatic difficulties involved.


语言很不错，论证也比较好，不过第一，段落太长了，可以分成几段说，第2所有论述都要和题目的核心词汇联系起来，不要围绕由这个词派生出的东西论述。
有时间看看我的121
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=326172

mahuUID: 179508

正文：
In contemporary society, with the rapid development of technology and civilization, numerous society problems also come out, some of which may cause great threat to human's living if not solved as soon as possible. In my point of view, the author's suggestion, which is to establish a global university to provide a platform for students all over the world to take part in the processes of solving the world's most persistent social problems, is very meaningful and should gain support from all the nations in the world. 这个句子要赞一下，结构很好

To begin with, many of the most persistent social problems are always related to many nations, rather than a single nation. Such problems, pollution, energy crisis, and depletion of ozone, are all the international problems which we all human beings are confronted and worry about. Firstly, it is obviously impossible, and also incompetence for a single nation to solve them, since these problems do impair the mutual living circumstance for all the nations. Thus we should rely on the whole human beings' efforts to face and solve these problems, and it is necessary and beneficial to establish a global university to enhance the cooperation between all the nations. Secondly, every nation may regard these problems on their own standpoint, and that will inevitably cause one-sided and insufficient views. Thus it is necessary for all the nations to carry out more communication and understand with each other, finally to acquire the most reasonable and efficient methods to treat these problems. Due to the above-mentioned, a global university could provide a platform for communication and cooperation of people from all over the world, and play an important part in solving the most persistent social problems. 这一段写的很清楚

In addition, a global university will advance the mutual comprehension and acceptance of various conceptions from different nations, which is very helpful to reduce conflicts between them. Every kind of nation has its own distinct cultures, conceptions and beliefs. Sometimes it is unavoidable to cause incompatibility between different nations' cultures or beliefs, and that will unfortunately lend to conflicts, even wars. Here are two examples: the Crusade which was a large-scale war between Christians and Muslims in history, and the persistent wars in Middle East between Islams and Jews. The root of these religion wars can be ascribed to the conflict of their cultures, especially beliefs. Both sides in the wars have their strong loyalty to their beliefs, which makes them to exclude even antagonize each other, and finally leads to the tragedies. Actually, when facing conflicts, people should not be exclusive to different standpoints, which could help them to regard the problems in a comprehensive point of view, even the opposite standpoints could also provide disparate aspects to their comprehension of the problems. The more (应该是less吧) confusion and mutual acceptance of different cultures will do help to promote the cohesion of the human race, and therefore a global university would contribute to the problems' solution. 可以再加几句，比如global university可以提供一个platform就像你上文说的那样，学生，老师，甚至political leader都可以参与进来，为解决分歧提供了很好的条件

However, it is no denying that there are some operational difficulties in establishing such a global university. The following problems must be considered first: (1) What location do we establish the university in? It is obviously impractical to fit all the nations' requirements. (2) How do the students from all over the world converse and communicate with each other, with various languages? (3) How do we establish the curriculum for the students with distinct cultural background, and what is the criteria? Without successfully solving above problems, the suggestion would just a beautiful hope for us. 感觉这三个问句很大胆，不过个人建议还是要谨慎使用啊，其实可以改成陈述句的

To sum up, from what has been discussed above, we can finally draw a conclusion that to establish a global university will be a valuable decision for the whole human race to help solve many persistent problems. All the nations should pay great attention to the suggestion, despite some possible pragmatic difficulties involved.

帮忙看一下我ISSUE11的啊
我的观点刚好是相反的！

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1