issue17 kito战队jingjingtous的作业

jingjingtousUID：2164820

TOPIC：ISSUE 17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
提纲：
1 不同的国家有不同的法律，它们约束人们的行为，人们必须遵守各个方面的法律。
2 不同的人们对法律的公正性有不同的看法，往往带有主观色彩。
3 从以前至现在都有不公正的法律的存在，大多数有正义感的人们都会反对它。
4 法律又往往由于不同民族的文化和风俗习惯的差异而带有民族色彩，该民族遵守它，其它则不然。


What is the standard of judging whether a law is just or unjust? In this statement the speaker claims that there are only two types of laws exsiting in the world: just and unjust. i concede that our citizens have responsibilities to obey our laws in different countries, nevertheless, the speaker's claim is too extreme that i cannot agree fundamentally.

First of all, different countries have different laws which enforce all of its citizens must obey. The role of law in China and Japan, for example, is somewhat different from its role in Western nations. Almost everything we do is governed by some set of rules. There are rules for games, for social clubs, for sports and for adults in the workplace. There are also rules imposed by morality and custom that play an important role in telling us what we should do and should not do. Laws resemble morality because they are designed to control or alter our behaviors. In modern society, most of laws are continuously revised to satisfy the general public's desire for fairness, without individual's obedience, how can we keep a peaceful, orderly, relatively stable society?

On the other hand, different people have different ideas toward whether the law is fair or partial unfair? The view to this issue varies from people's situation and their changeable psychology, which made their attitudes tend to subjectivity. For example, if we discuss the issue whether our government should limit the speed at 60 per hour in the high way, some drivers may thought: why not lower the speed at 45 per hour to ensuring we have a better assurance when we drive? while others who prefer stimulated driving at a comparatively highly speed might be against this legislation: why not abolish the speeding limited law? In Canada

Secondly, it is obvious that unfair laws are exiting in our world from previous time to the modern period. For example, before the tenure of president Abraham Lincoln, laws that address that slavery is legal are accepted by American's federal government. However, the majority of American people disobey it. with courage and determination some of Americans in the north rescue numerous black slaveries from the owners of plants in the south. Why did this people have such justice behavior even under the guilty of disobeying slavery laws at that time? Just because the morality of humanity motivates them to challenge this unjust laws. and in modern period, the majority of laws in our world represent morality and humanity. Take "clone" for instance, nearly all of the countries in global have legislated federal constitution to against its using in human or other unbeneficial respects. Also, many countries pass laws against for abortion considering the humanity and morality.

Finally, different races have different customs or conventions that regulate their citizens should obey the rational law. Considering the Arabians, their Islamic laws impose that their women should wear black clothes and veils. However, an American lady who visit Sandi Arabia does not require to do it because there is no need for her to obey this particular law.
However, in traffic laws in Canada clearly states that we must drive our cars on the right-handed side of a two-way street. If people were allowed to choose at random which side of the street to drive on, driving would be dangerous and chaotic.

in sum, when we considering the laws, we cannot hastily conclude that individual should obey just law and disobey unjust one. However, there is no definite measure to determine which law is fair and which is not. Different countries, races and areas have different laws, even different individuals have different inclination or attitudes to different laws, we can not hastily judge the laws as just or unjust.
第一次写issue最后一段没写完就没时间了，argument 迟些发上来，实在抱歉！
对了，弱问kito9695我和谁互改作文哪？？

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-12-16 at 21:54 ]

bunnymz2005UID：2146758

你去大贴首页看看，要不就是第二页，有互改顺序的，你顶替的是zhangheng1020，我顶替Calsunny 你要帮另一个人改，你去看看吧，你的就交给我啦^-^

jingjingtousUID：2164820

好的，非常感谢

bunnymz2005UID：2146758

不好意思 我不太会编辑这个东西，怎么才能在贴子贴上去的时候，把部分的文字变成红色呢？能不能教我一下啊，呵呵，我比较苯的。
我先以附件的形式发给你吧，等我学会了，再直接贴上去。

jingjingtousUID：2164820

你把要修改的地方和你的评语用鼠标托成蓝色（即选中）然后选择标题下面的颜色栏，选择红色即可。
可千万别这么说，大家都是新手哟：D 感谢你的拍砖。睡了

jingjingtousUID：2164820

本来按顺序好像我应该改你的，你应该改lena的，艾，好像弄乱了，算了，我还是改你的好了，今天先睡了，明天一定完成

kito9695UID：209685

改乱顺序的，尽快联系组长协调，要确保每个组员的作文都被改过，不能随便乱了就不管了

jingjingtousUID：2164820

谨遵教诲，可是好像没有明确的互改顺序呀？

bunnymz2005UID：2146758

那个上边不是说第二次要把顺序掉转过来的么？所以还是我改你的，lena改我的
^-^

jingjingtousUID：2164820

issue 17 kito战队jingjingtous的作业

TOPIC：ISSUE 17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
提纲：
1 不同的国家有不同的法律，它们约束人们的行为，人们必须遵守各个方面的法律。
2 不同的人们对法律的公正性有不同的看法，往往带有主观色彩。
3 从以前至现在都有不公正的法律的存在，大多数有正义感的人们都会反对它。
4 法律又往往由于不同民族的文化和风俗习惯的差异而带有民族色彩，该民族遵守它，其它则不然。


What is the standard of judging whether a law is just or unjust? In this statement the speaker claims that there are only two types of laws exsiting (existing) in the world: just and unjust. i (I) concede that our (这个our很没有必要)citizens have responsibilities to obey our(这个our也可以去掉) laws in different countries, nevertheless, the speaker's claim is too extreme that i cannot agree fundamentally. （这句话好像很像Argument，可以改写成 I would certainly agree that citizens in different nations should take the responsibilities to obey laws, nevertheless, +你的观点，观点要摆出来，issue是在立你自己的观点，这一点与Argument不同）

First of all, different countries have different laws which enforce all of its citizens must obey(语法错误，应改为force all the citizens to obey). The role of law in China and Japan, for example, is somewhat different from its role in Western nations.（这句话看起来超级眼熟，在百科全书上抄的吧，不要原封不动的用哦，要改写才行，我都看出来了， 那雷同探测器可比我功能强大多了，呵呵^-^） Almost everything we do is governed by some set of rules. There are rules for games, for social clubs, for sports and for adults in the workplace. There are also rules imposed by morality and custom that play an important role in telling us what we should do and should not do. Laws resemble morality because they are designed to control or alter our behaviors. In modern society, most of laws are continuously revised to satisfy the general public's desire for fairness, without individual's obedience, how can we keep a peaceful, orderly, relatively stable society? （这段整体来说比较混乱，论点不够明确，我个人觉得倒是最后一句作本段论点更为合适，法律不断的在变化满足人们的需要，建议这段整体修改。提到role of China and Japan，支持了第一句，但是后边又说到rules 和 morality 就很奇怪了，写在这里显得很突兀）

On the other hand, different people have different ideas toward whether the law is fair or partial（partially） unfair?（问号从何而来，这是个陈述句。还有一点不要总用different这个词，要变换才行，你可以查查同义词词典或者直接用word 中提供的替换功能） The view to this issue varies from(varies with sth, 另一种用法是vary from sth. to sth.) people's situation and their changeable psychology, which made their attitudes tend to subjectivity. For example, if we discuss the issue whether our government should limit the speed at 60 per hour in the high way, some drivers may thought: why not lower the speed at 45 per hour to ensuring we have a better assurance when we drive? while others who prefer stimulated driving at a comparatively highly speed might be against this legislation: why not abolish the speeding limited law? In Canada （不知道你这个例子是什么，但是不要罗列太多例子，有堆砌凑字之嫌，一个例子足够把问题说明白了，而且你举的例子占的篇幅太大了，最好压缩一下。另外，这个例子选的不太好， 限速是一种regulation, 显然与法律不同。如果非要用这个例子，我觉得这样写是不是好一点： Consider the speed limit in a country, some drivers who tend to be more careful would be likely to think the allowed speed is still too high while others who indulge in a stimulating driving may complain about the boring speed limit. ）

Secondly, it is obvious that unfair laws are exiting in our world from previous time to the modern period. For example, before the tenure of president Abraham Lincoln, laws that address that slavery is legal are accepted by American's federal government. However, the majority of American people disobey it. with courage and determination some of Americans in the north rescue numerous black slaveries from the owners of plants in the south. Why did this people have such justice behavior even under the guilty of disobeying slavery laws at that time? Just because the morality of humanity motivates them to challenge this unjust laws. and in modern period, the majority of laws in our world represent morality and humanity.（这个例子需要重写，还有不要总是设问。这个例子显然只写关于奴隶制的不合法性就行了，不需要扯上道德问题的。另外，你写的这段想要表达什么呢？批改作文的人当然知道你所举的事件，重要的不是你叙述这件事的始末，而是你在这个过程中所要说明的问题。在这里，你说不公正的法律从古至今都存在，这我们都明白，但是不要忘了这段也是为中心论点服务的，你的论点不明，这段也自然不知所云了。） Take "clone" for instance, nearly all of the countries in global have legislated federal constitution to against its using in human or other unbeneficial respects. Also, many countries pass laws against for abortion considering the humanity and morality.(clone 的例子想得很好，但是放在这里就不恰当了，放在上一段会非常合适，这不正是不同的人，集体或国家对不同的法律有不同的看法么，还是那句话，不要在例子上花大篇幅，也不要堆砌例子，建议你再看看ETS的范文，从中悟到的东西我们可以交流一下)

Finally, different races（种族主义者？匪夷所思，这个概念似乎跟前面的个人与国家有交叉，这段可以不要，举的例子跟善法恶法有什么关系呢？建议好好审题，虽然可以有一定的发散空间，但是这个度难以把握，个人认为这个题目还是不发散的好。） have different customs or conventions that regulate their citizens should obey the rational law. Considering the Arabians, their Islamic laws impose that their women should wear black clothes and veils. However, an American lady who visit Sandi Arabia does not require to do it because there is no need for her to obey this particular law.However, in traffic laws in Canada clearly states that we must drive our cars on the right-handed side of a two-way street. If people were allowed to choose at random which side of the street to drive on, driving would be dangerous and chaotic.

in sum[color=Red]（开头大写）, when we [color=Red]（去掉we）considering the laws, we cannot（should not） hastily conclude that individual should obey just law and disobey unjust one. However（这里不构成转折，应改为After all）, there is no definite measure to determine which law is fair and which is not[color=Red].(连接起来 in that) [/color]Different countries, races and areas have different laws, even different individuals have different inclination or attitudes to different laws, we can not hastily judge the laws as just or unjust[color=Red].（最后一句，与本段首重复了，应考虑修改，我不太清楚你的中心论点，所以最后一句的修改工作只能由你自己完成了）

总结起来，首先你要摆出自己的论点。其次，分论点要紧密围绕中心论点展开，并且要表意明确。再次，每段的展开过程中，道理要讲明白，例子要言简意赅，不要罗列，issue并不是例子的集合，例子永远只是为论点服务的。最后，要减少语法错误。文章条理要加强才行。

[ 本帖最后由 jingjingtous 于 2006-2-1 00:22 编辑 ]