issue177 GOGOGO小组 我交作业来了!

pioneercpuUID: 2139317

issue177 The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceptive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

观点:同意
1.表明观点
2.在天文学方面我们的认识发生了很大的变化
3.在生物学方面,我们对人类自身的认识也发生了改变
4.总结一下
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Through the study of an academic discipline ,we indeed change our perception to look at the world around us. And the world is still the former one, but being seen with totally different views.

To begin with in the realm of astronomy, the study of Copernican Theory and modern astronomy has greatly altered the way we see the universe. If we cast a look back at the medieval history, we would find that many people, in the sixteenth century, believed the earth to be the centre of the world. Due to their limited knowledge about astronomy, people had taken geocentric perceptive for granted for centuries. Owning to the study of Copernicus, one of the most influential astronomers in the course of scientific history, people's misconception about the universe had been corrected. If not for his sun-centered system of the universe, people might have still been distracted from the truth, that in fact it is the earth that revolves annually around the sun. To be sure, after studying the Copernican Theory and latter modern astronomy in its maturity, how people view the universe with no doubt differs vastly from before.

Furthermore, studying the academic discipline alters the way we see the world can also be applied to biology. Just several hundred years ago, most people would deem themselves as a superior intellectual over other species. Proud of the wisdom accumulated for thousands of years; our predecessors further think that their superiority had existed since the first day when humans were created, by God or whatsoever. The education about biology, however, convinces us that nothing could be further from the truth than this assertion: all living creatures on this planet, from microscopic bacteria to plants, insects, birds, and mammals, unexceptionally share one ancestor from the very beginning. Although humans now differ enormously with other species in almost all angles, after we study the evolution theory, we know that humans and other species pertaining to this world are biologically interrelated.

In conclusion, the study of academic disciplines do change the way we perceptive the world. After studying Copernican Theory, people have realized that the sun does not revolve the earth but that the opposite is true. Similarly, owning to knowledge gained from biology, our perceptive toward the natural life is forever altered. In short, deep down in disciplines we are not with the same eyes to see the same world.

加一UID: 2168628

Through the study of an academic discipline ,we indeed change our perception to look at the world around us. And the world is still the former one, but being seen with totally different views.

To begin with in the realm of astronomy, the study of Copernican Theory and modern astronomy has greatly altered the way we see the universe. If we cast a look back at the medieval history, we would find that many people, in the sixteenth century, believed the earth to be the centre of the world. Due to their limited knowledge about astronomy, people had taken geocentric perceptive for granted for centuries. Owning to the study of Copernicus, one of the most influential astronomers in the course of scientific history, people's misconception about the universe had been corrected. If not for his sun-centered system of the universe, people might have still been distracted from the truth, that in fact it is the earth that revolves annually around the sun. To be sure, after studying the Copernican Theory and latter modern astronomy in its maturity, how people view the universe with no doubt differs vastly from before.
例子精练一些,再多加些论述会比较好

Furthermore, studying the academic discipline alters the way we see the world can also be applied to biology. Just several hundred years ago, most people would deem themselves as a superior intellectual over other species. Proud of the wisdom accumulated for thousands of years; our predecessors further think that their superiority had existed since the first day when humans were created, by God or whatsoever. The education about biology, however, convinces us that nothing could be further from the truth than this assertion: all living creatures on this planet, from microscopic bacteria to plants, insects, birds, and mammals, unexceptionally share one ancestor from the very beginning. Although humans now differ enormously with other species in almost all angles, after we study the evolution theory, we know that humans and other species pertaining to this world are biologically interrelated.
这段生物学的论述写的蛮好的，不愧是生物方面的牛人啊，呵呵

In conclusion, the study of academic disciplines do change the way we perceptive the world. After studying Copernican Theory, people have realized that the sun does not revolve the earth but that the opposite is true. Similarly, owning to knowledge gained from biology, our perceptive toward the natural life is forever altered. In short, deep down in disciplines we are not with the same eyes to see the same world.

语法和连贯性都不错,本文的主要问题在于没有将issue的论点展开,只是反复论证"知识改变我们"这个观点.建议看看老大的文章,相当有思想,呵呵

[ Last edited by 加一 on 2005-12-24 at 12:56 ]

racyUID: 2135171

issue177 The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceptive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

观点:同意
1.表明观点
2.在天文学方面我们的认识发生了很大的变化
3.在生物学方面,我们对人类自身的认识也发生了改变
4.总结一下
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

首先说提纲的问题，不知道楼主你是怎么写的，是先列的提纲还是直接上来就写的。如果是第二种情况，那无可厚非，你只是写后自己又补上的提纲。如果是第一种情况，那可以说这样的提纲是对自己不负责。大家都知道段首要点题并提出观点，不用再说一遍。提纲怎么写，精华里有人家的例子。这样的提纲不如不写。不好意思，我可能说的比较重，不过就是这样。提纲是整个文章的思路的构成，换句话说，应该是只要拿到提纲就能知道怎么进行写作，有例子，有难词，有总结性的词汇总结，有精彩句子。这样的提纲才有用，不然还是不写了吧。

Through the study of an academic discipline ,we indeed change our perception to look at 介词用错 the world around us. And the world is still the former one, but being seen 这样讲说的通，但是从语用的角度，这不成话，老外会CONFUSED。主语在那里，两句的主语是一致的么？主谓搭配语法上一致了，可是意思完全不对头哦 with totally different views.VIEWS也是同样的问题，打个比方，我们比较熟的人之间见面打招呼，会说“您吃了没？”不会说“您就餐了没？”所以VIEWS最好改个词，就算用EYES，个人觉得也会好点。当然，还有很多说法,eg: from different perspectives，楼主有心，多收集一些吧

To begin with in the realm of astronomy, the study of Copernican Theory and modern astronomy has greatly altered the way we see the universe. If we cast a look back at the medieval history medieval, often followed by age or ages, but that’s ok, just a kind of refining we would find that many people, in the sixteenth century, believed the earth to better if you could use a clause be the centre of the world. Due to their limited knowledge about improper word choice, improved if you change the prep. astronomy, people had taken geocentric perceptive for granted for centuries. Owning to the study of Copernicus, one of the most influential astronomers in the course of scientific history, people's misconception about the universe had been corrected. If not for his sun-centered better to add a “theory” in front of “system”, to avoid confuse system of the universe, people might have still been distracted from the truth, that in fact it is the earth that revolves annually around the sun. To be sure, after studying the Copernican Theory and latter modern astronomy in its maturity, how people view the universe with no doubt differs vastly from before.
前面的述说还可以，可是，要注意哦，题目中说了CHANGE，所以最好再说完一句general的CHANGE之后，再补充一些具体的细节。不要只摆一句话就OVER，太宽泛了，要具体化

Furthermore, studying the academic discipline alters the way we see the world can also be applied to biology. Just several hundred years ago, most people would deem themselves as a superior intellectual over other species. Proud of the wisdom accumulated for through maybe appear better thousands of years; our predecessors further think that their superiority had existed since the first day when humans were created完全的直接翻译，字对字，HUMAN被创造，不如说human appeared，细节问题，也无大碍，我们可以再商量, by God or whatsoever. The education about 介词，建议查一下语法书 biology, however, convinces us that nothing could be further from the truth than this assertion: all living creatures on this planet, from microscopic bacteria to plants, insects, birds, and mammals, unexceptionally share one ancestor from the very beginning. Although humans now differ enormously with 词组搭配 other species in almost all angles, after we study the evolution theory, we know that humans and other species pertaining to this world are biologically interrelated.
是说because we know they know we know么？但是不对呀，we do not know whether they know or not, 还是同上段的论述的问题一样，你都是在说这个例子，但是你的落脚点在那里呢？关键的问题就是你没有把TOPIC与你的例证和论述结合起来，现在的结果就是，例证本来是更加印证你的观点的，可是现在完全可以单独独立作为一段论证，分家了哦

In conclusion, the study of academic disciplines do change the way we perceptive the world.学习理论知识的确改变了我们看待事物的角度，不管是天文学科还是生物学科，这样也许你能发现你的另一个论证上的缺陷，难道就是说这两方面改变了么，别的方面呢，所以论证部分不妨多些笔墨，加上一段，besides，在别的领域也是一样的。让论证更饱满一些 After studying Copernican Theory, people have realized that the sun does not revolve the earth but that the opposite is true. Similarly, owning to knowledge gained from biology, our perceptive toward the natural life is forever altered. In short, deep down in disciplines we are not with the same eyes to see the same world.
其实对这道题，我觉得还有一种写法，不要从学科上划分，天文啊，地理呀的，另一个划分方法是按看问题解决问题的方法来写，比如可以写“一点论”变成两点论，我们学习理论知识学会了从正反两方面看问题；由“全盘的接受”变成“批判性的接受”。处理手法上也更多变了。
我改的比较慢，说话可能有些很直接，请多包涵

[ Last edited by racy on 2005-12-24 at 15:46 ]

azaleaUID: 196122

我基本同意楼上的意见
有一点有异议的
our predecessors further think that their superiority had existed since the first day when humans were created完全的直接翻译，字对字，HUMAN被创造，不如说human appeared，细节问题，也无大碍，我们可以再商量, by God or whatsoever.

这里楼主是说humans were created by God没什么问题的 楼上大概没把整个句子连起来看:)

还有楼上拍砖还用英文的 pfpf 不过能用中文还是用中文吧 节省彼此时间:P

anyway,谢谢楼上对我们组组员的关心:)