argument71 铜的提炼 限时

bunnymz2005UID：2146758

TOPIC：ARGUMENT 71 - Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.
WORDS：427          TIME：0:30:00          DATE：2006-2-18

Prior to accepting the recommendation that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry would decline significantly, the evidence presented in this argument requires an in-depth scrutiny from several aspects, by doing which, I find that the author seems to have unduly relied on the data invoked in this argument and thus draws a conclusion that is fundamentally flawed.

To begin with, the mere fact that new copper-extracting technologies use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore when the proportion of copper in the ore is high is insufficient to bolster the author's postulation. In fact, we are not informed of any information about the amount of electricity used by these two methods when the proportion of copper in the ore is low. For that matter, we have sufficient reasons to assume that the old method consumes less amount of electricity than that of new method, given that the proportion of copper in the ore is low. Since the author fails to respond to this concern, the data would lend little support to this argument.

In addition, the author also illogically presumes that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry would decline merely based on the statistics quoted in this argument, which, however, may not be the case either. Common sense tells us that during the process of extracting copper from ore, there are many other auxiliary procedures, which also belong to copper-extraction industry, required in order to enable copper-extraction to go smoothly. In that case, it is entirely possible that more cost are needed due to the employment of the new technologies. Hence, without taking into consideration cost of other dimensions, the author's assumption cannot convince me at all.

However, even if we concede that the consumption of electricity used does decline, it would nevertheless be perfunctory to conclude that it would decline significantly. In fact, there is not any evidence offered about the new technologies would be applied to the whole copper-extraction industry. Perhaps in some places where the condition of economy undergo a hardship, new technologies cannot be adopted at all due to their lacking of money to bring in this new technologies or to hire new employers who are proficient in this new measure. If true, the result would tend to be that the decline turns out to be diminutive and unperceptive.

To sum up, the argument is weakened by the flaws discussed above. Much work is needed before drawing a convincible conclusion; otherwise, the argument would be unfounded.

lawrence1984UID：178326

argument71 铜的提炼 限时

TOPIC：ARGUMENT 71 - Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.
WORDS：427          TIME：0:30:00          DATE：2006-2-18

Prior to accepting the recommendation（用conclusion） that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry would decline significantly, the evidence presented in this argument requires an in-depth scrutiny from several aspects, by doing which, I find that the author seems to have unduly relied on the data invoked in this argument and thus draws a conclusion that is fundamentally flawed.（指出你的驳斥重心是数据，很好！）

To begin with, the mere fact that new copper-extracting technologies use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore when the proportion of copper in the ore is high is insufficient to bolster the author's postulation. In fact, we are not informed of any information about the amount of electricity used by these two methods when the proportion of copper in the ore is low.（应该说新方法，不是两种方法，因为旧的说法有提到。） For that matter, we have sufficient reasons to assume that the old method consumes less amount of electricity than that of new method, given that the proportion of copper in the ore is low. Since the author fails to respond to this concern, the data would lend little support to this argument.（这点写得很好！）


In addition, the author also illogically presumes that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry would decline merely based on the statistics quoted in this argument, which, however, may not be the case either. Common sense tells us that during the process of extracting copper from ore, there are many other auxiliary procedures,（不妨举几个具体的方面） which also belong to copper-extraction industry, required in order to enable copper-extraction to go smoothly. In that case, it is entirely possible that more cost are needed due to the employment of the new technologies. Hence, without taking into consideration（应该把重心放在耗电量上。不是说成本） cost of other dimensions, the author's assumption cannot convince me at all.

However, even if we concede that the consumption of electricity used does decline, it would nevertheless be perfunctory to conclude that it would decline significantly. In fact, there is not any evidence offered about the new technologies would be applied to the whole copper-extraction industry. Perhaps in some（most不妨夸大以更加支持自己的看法！） places where the condition of economy undergo a hardship, new technologies cannot be adopted at all due to their lacking of money to bring in this new technologies or to hire new employers who are proficient in this new measure. If true, the result would tend to be that the decline turns out to be diminutive and unperceptive.

To sum up, the argument is weakened by the flaws discussed above. Much work is needed before drawing a convincible conclusion; otherwise, the argument would be unfounded.
这篇的驳斥点不太好些，但是这三个很典型，写到这么多不错了，不可能每篇都写500来字的。加油！！

[ 本帖最后由 lawrence1984 于 2006-2-18 11:44 编辑 ]