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[i习作temp] ISSUE120 米国有米寒假2号第七次作业 欢迎恨批 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-2-2 21:29:27 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."
WORDS: 496          TIME: 0:52:53          DATE: 2007-2-3

Outline:
1, 人类的基本需要没有变(安全感)
2,社会发展的根本主题没有变(冲突与协作)

On the ground that human being is still unchanged in their natural impulses, motives, motions and weakness, I believe, albeit the prevalent innovations and complexities exist in our life today, an understanding of the past remains providing guidance for living in the present. The complexity and magical modern circumstances in our live do not over shadow the traditional wisdom such as parable and motto as a deposit of thousands of years.

To begin with, the internist needs for human being remain constant over the most time of human civilization. A sense of security, from primitive society to highly industrialized one, is a centre of gravity of human behavior, without any fundamental change. In the primitive society, people shared foods and other properties, lived together and hunted by group so that the foods supply were ensured in misfortune circumstances, consolidated men were of sufficient ability to fight against animals and any danger. Nowadays, family structure still exists in the human society, either for individual needs for being close to other, tying his own live with others so as against risks in their lives, or, regarded by many sociologist, a most important stabilizer in the contemporary society. Yet, in my view, the new and complex social environment today has never deviated from the intrinsic needs of human. For example, fanatic modern pursuit like being a rock star to be idolized by millions of people all over the world, is derived from human intrinsic needs of, perhaps, recognized by community members so as to maintain community status, and hence is inferior to basic needs for foods and shields.

In addition, the underlying theme of human interactions is constant compromise between conflicts and collaborations. Given an amount of goods to be allocated, the multilateral interest involvements unavoidably lead to conflict. However, to which amount of goods is available to distribute depends on to which extent people solve or moderate the conflict so as to collaborate. Therefore, for the thousands past thousands years, human development is largely determined by how well human is able to compromise and avoid the explosion of accumulated conflicts. Human invented social institution to facilitate the larger scale of collaboration, by shaping interaction among persons, groups, class, geographic section, states, and races and so on. To its nature toward a constructive institution, laws in the Roma time are in light with the most advanced civilized laws in the modern society. Though technology are so advanced that it seems fantastic from a prospect of past, it is rather physical and mechanical in natural, i.e. it does not violate the fact that they serve to satisfy the human needs. In that case, the traditional deposit of wisdom all around human nature is never dated.

In sum, as the underlying forces that motivate the human development and shadow the jeopardy of the human well-being are independent of the seemly new and complex situations we are encountering, a retrospective study to human history still shed light in our present living.        
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沙发
发表于 2007-2-3 12:03:56 |只看该作者
Outline:
1, 人类的基本需要没有变(安全感)
2,社会发展的根本主题没有变(冲突与协作)

On the ground that human being is still unchanged in their natural impulses,motives, motions and weakness,[你这里引用的根据不够准确可靠,过于抽象] I believe, albeit the prevalentinnovations and complexities exist in our life today, an understanding of thepast remains providing guidance for living in the present. The complexity andmagical modern circumstances in our live do notover shadow the traditional wisdom such as parable and motto as a deposit ofthousands of years.[开头写的不错]

To begin with, the internist needs for human being [内科医生需要人?] remain constant overthe most time of human civilization. A sense of security, from primitivesociety to highly industrialized one, is a centre of gravity of human behavior,without any fundamental change. In the primitive society, people shared foodsand other properties, lived together and hunted by group so that the foodssupply were ensured in misfortune circumstances[不稳定的环境才对], consolidated menwere of sufficient ability to fight against animals and any danger.[最好分开来说,否则导致句子结构混乱] Nowadays, familystructure still exists in the human society, either for individual needs forbeing close to other[others], tying his own live with others so as against risks in theirlives, or, regarded by many sociologist, a most important stabilizer in thecontemporary society. Yet, in my view, the newand complex social environment today has never deviated from the intrinsicneeds of human. For example, fanatic modern pursuit like being a rock star tobe idolized by millions of people all over the world, is derived from humanintrinsic needs of, perhaps, recognized by community members so as to maintaincommunity status, and hence is inferior to basic needs for foods and shields.

[这段你是想论证文章第一段的第一句话吧,不过论证这么多和主题没有什么太大的联系,而且注意上面的那个YET前面说了那么多又来一个转折叙述你的观点,那么前面的论述则不支持你的观点,这个是正反论证的方法还是其它什么方法,我没见过,虚心求教]

In addition, the underlying theme of human interactions is constant compromisebetween conflicts and collaborations. Given an amount of goods to be allocated,the multilateral interest involvements unavoidably lead to conflict. However, towhich amount of goods is available to distribute depends on to which extentpeople solve or moderate the conflict so as to collaborate.[这个样子的句型还没见过,能解释下吗?] Therefore, for thethousands past thousands years, human development is largely determined by howwell human is able to compromise and avoid the explosion of accumulatedconflicts. Human invented social institution to facilitate the larger scale ofcollaboration, by shaping interaction among persons, groups, class, geographicsection, states, and races and so on. To its nature toward a constructiveinstitution, laws in the Roma time are in light with the most advancedcivilized laws in the modern society. Though technology are so advanced that itseems fantastic from a prospect of past, it is rather physical and mechanicalin natural, i.e. it does not violate the fact that they serve to satisfy thehuman needs. In that case, the traditional deposit of wisdom all around humannature is never dated.

[从冲突与协作的角度来探讨固然不错,但是忽略了主题中understanding of the past remains providing guidance forliving in the present的论述,不是吗?你的论证中心似乎在冲突与协作,而这两者之间的关系和过去对现在有指导性的论述却寥寥无几]

In sum, as the underlying forces that motivate the human development and shadowthe jeopardy of the human well-being are independent of the seemly new andcomplex situations we are encountering, a retrospective study to human historystill shed light in our present living.        


[文章写的比较晦涩,使得表达自己的观点不是显得特别明确,第2段论述与主题联系不大]

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荣誉版主 Economist

板凳
发表于 2007-2-3 13:37:03 |只看该作者
段二的TS 应该是intrinsic needs 本能需要,呵呵,拼错了。

段二的yet是表至今,不表转折,也许用Heretofore会明确点。

段三那个句子我也不确定对否,不知这样改会不会明确点:

The amount of foods available for distribution depends on to which extent people settle the conflict and collaborate.

我很认同你对段三评价,加上一个这样的一个例子:联系现在的某一事件(比方说太空技术应用的非军事化协商进程的)和过去的事件(布雷顿森林体系的建立Bretton Woods System)一样都是冲突和协作的矛盾中产生的,学习以前的事件对现在有指导作用。不知会不会好点?

由于词汇,语言驾驭能力,和时间的限制,我想我应该多用明白的事例说理,尽量减少抽象的分析,免得变得隐晦和混乱。你的意见很好,非常感谢。

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地板
发表于 2007-2-3 16:10:25 |只看该作者
:funk:   :funk:
冲突和协作的矛盾中发展~~~不就是Hegel的辩证法吗?可以继续深入

HOHO

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RE: ISSUE120 米国有米寒假2号第七次作业 欢迎恨批 [修改]

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