argument200 【米国有米】寒假作业第9天2－4

holdingUID: 2285054

200Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.


In this argument, the arguer claim that dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients, which is supported by the statistics collected from dentists. It seems to be persuasive, but after a careful research of this argument, many logical flaws could be found which will make the argument unavailable at all.

In the first place, the arguer cites statistics collected from dentists to support the conclusion. But there is no more information that can prove the survey is convincing. As we know, a statistics would be convincing only if it has large range of respondents and scientific process. The author does not list some detailed information about the statistics at all, such as the number of people who take part in, the age, and condition of the patients which is the most important. The survey lost its credit of result without the considerate of these elements. It is possible that the male patients who faint have poorer health condition than female patients. Based on this survey which is not sounded, the conclusion which the author draws is also not persuaded.

In the second place, although the statistics is scientific, the author makes mistake by drawing the conclusion too hasty. The statistics claims that three times more than women faint while visiting the dentist, so the dentists who advertise should pay more attention to the male consumer. It is possible that the number of visiting to dentists of female patients is much more than the one of male. If the dentists focus on the male patients and neglect the women, they will lose large rate of market. Therefore, the conclusion is not convincing as a result of the hasty of author.

In the final place, the author neglects other factors which would influent the number of patients. And it is wrong to advertise to the patient only about the information which only emphasizes the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of the staff. Many patients would choose their dentists according to some other factors which they think more important, such as the condition of cleaning and the technique of the dentists and so on. Hence, if the dentists convince the suggestion of this argument, they may not have a good development.

In conclusion, the argument is not sounded with some logical flaws which are pointed out above. If the author wants to support his argument, he should list more information of the statistics and make his suggestion to be drawn based on more justified evidence.

ntmlgszUID: 2235666

In this argument, the arguer claim thatdentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer andemphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and thesensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients, which is supportedby the statistics collected from dentists. It seems to be persuasive, but aftera careful research of this argument, many logical flaws could be found whichwill make the argument unavailable at all.

In the first place, the arguer cites statistics collected from dentists tosupport the conclusion. But there is no more information that can prove thesurvey is convincing. As we know, a statistics would be convincing only if ithas large range of respondents and scientific process. The author does not listsome detailed information about the statistics at all, such as the number ofpeople who take part in, the age, and condition of the patients which is the [去掉] most important. The survey lost its credit of result without the considerate [consideration]ofthese elements. It is possible that the male patients who faint have poorerhealth condition than female patients. Based on this survey which is notsounded, the conclusion which the author draws is also not persuaded.[persuasive]
[本段攻击的还不错]

In the second place, although the statistics is scientific, the author makesmistake by drawing the conclusion too hasty. The statistics claims that threetimes more than women faint while visiting the dentist, so the dentists whoadvertise should pay more attention to the male consumer. It is possible thatthe number of visiting to dentists of female patients is much more than the oneof male. If the dentists focus on the male patients and neglect the women, theywill lose large rate of market. Therefore, the conclusion is not convincing as aresult of the hasty of author.
[首先你立的攻击点和你攻击的地方有点不一致，其次句子缺乏信息量，最后你说的conclusion到底是什么？]

In the final place, the author neglects other factors which would influent thenumber of patients. And it is wrong to advertise to the patient only about theinformation which only emphasizes the effectiveness of their anesthetictechniques and the sensitivity of the staff. Many patients would choose theirdentists according to some other factors which they think more important, suchas the condition of cleaning [degree of clean of the condition in dental hospital]andthe technique [复数]of the dentists and so on. Hence, if the dentists convince the suggestion[复数] of this argument, they may not have a good development.

In conclusion, the argument is not sounded [sound] with some logical flaws which are pointed outabove. If the author wants to support his argument, he should list moreinformation of the statistics and make his suggestion to be drawn based on morejustified evidence.[攻击点找的都不错，语言上还要加强下呵]


[ 本帖最后由 ntmlgsz 于 2007-2-5 18:04 编辑 ]