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TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 531 TIME: 0:45:00 DATE: 2007-3-2
Scandals, which is being something badly and appeared to the public by chance这一句不是特别贴切, is are always focused by people in the contemporary. Generally speaking, scandals, no matter in what field it happens they occur, usually
is are useful and could 不是并列的结构不能省略help the reform on in the去掉 certain field. They can focus our attention on the problems in ways no other one could.
No doubt, our human beings have achieved great improvement by now,with our civilization being our proud. And our civilization is our proud. 尽量写长句But no one can deny that there are still many problems in the society and every field in our life. But the problems is are always hidden or just known by a few people and they won't want public to know these things. The scandals always help to show these problems to the public and help the reform in the certain field.这一段感觉还是在摆出现象,抽象了,不够具体
缺少开头的主题句We are all taught that we are live living in a society which is democracy democratic, but actually the politicians is are not always on the side of the public, something? they just pursue the interests of their own. The scandals in politics always help us to find these people perceive those phenomena more conspicously and make our democracy more steady. The best example is the famous Water Gate, president Nixon paid for his behavior.This helped the American people to rethink the politics in the USA, and some reform took place after that to make sure no one could disobey the principle of democracy. In China, many political leaders who use the money of public is found from the scandals, so the all society could do the reform to build a better government system. So the scandals can play an important role in the reform of politics
The same thing happens in many other fields, like science and academia. The scandals help people to pay more attention
to the spirit of science not to the frame and the interest. The biggest scandal in academia happened in Korea,: the most famous scientist named Huang Yuxi was found use using the unreal numbers in his experiment in order to get the honor in the field. This thing makes the people who are honest sad disapponted, but it rang the bell for every one who does the academic research that we should be honest and to 去掉pursue the truth of the world not the frame fame and interests of individual. So the scandals help to focus on the problems in science.
However, too many scandals would do harm be detrimental to the society. Too many scandals would let some people lose confidence about the society, and they would think that there is no hope in the future. Another possibility is that if there are too many scandals, people won't take them seriously,; the value of scandal is that it emerge the serious problems hidden in the society not make jokes to people. 这一段还好,可以再展开两句
To conclude, it is hard for people to arrive at same stand on this controversial issue. But after reading what I mentioned abover还是不这样写吧, more and more people will come to realize that scandals will be useful in many fields, for it they help the reform in certain field. But 不用强转折the final goal of us is to let the society become better through the solution of the problem the scandals show to us, to make a society without scandals.
1 pay more attention to the topic sentence of each body paragraph;
2 use more complex sentences to be the substitute of the simple ones;
3 the process of provement had better be more concrete but not too abstract;
4 try best to make less errors in grammar.
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[ 本帖最后由 peterleaf 于 2007-3-2 23:33 编辑 ] |
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