Argument216【0806G-Sunbird小组】第5次作业

chenweibnuUID: 2312469

Argument216.The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
.
"Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and real estate taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Nevertheless, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. Retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."


提纲：
1、  好的风景并不一定是退休的最好的地方
2、  房价税低也可能是因为这个地方经济并不是很好
3、  退休的人对学校这些东西并不是很在乎，而在乎环境是不是安静
4、  医生人数多并不能说明好的医疗

In the argument, the speaker claims that Clearview would be a place for retirees because of the spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate as well as the low taxes and good public services. However, the argument is flawed in several critical respects.

Firstly, the speaker straightly get the conclusion that Clearview would be the top choice simply from the fact that the climate and beautiful landscape. However, he fails to give us the evidence that retirees would be likely to choose to live here simply because of the beauty and consistent climate without considering other conditions such as traffic conditions and living styles here. It is possible that, for example, Clearview is far away from main cities of the nation and the traffic here is seriously bad, which means that it would be difficult for people here to go out. In this case many people would not choose Clearview as a place for retirement considering the communications with their friends and family members.

Another reason for my doubts is that low housing costs and taxes in Clearview, which seems attractively in the view of the author, would not be a convincing reason to be a bonus since the low housing costs and taxes would be the consequences of bad economic conditions here, which, on the other hand, would be a reason retirees do not choose Clearview as a place to live. In order to convince us that people would be likely to live here, evidence that the economic conditions in Clearview is pretty well while the housing costs and taxes are relatively lower than the neighboring communities is needed.

Further more, the mayor’s promise to improve public services is another reason the speaker claims to be attractive to retirees. However, he fails to mention the fact that what retirees pay attention to is the living condition, security for example, rather than public services such as schools mentioned above. If the speaker does not give us the exact data what people feels when they live here, it would not be persuasive enough for the speaker to ask retirees to live here.

Last but least, the speaker simply draws the conclusion that the medical care system in Clearview is pretty well just because the average number of physicians here is greater that other nations but not drops a word on the total number and the level of physicians. Without these evidences, the conclusion is not persuasive enough.

In sum, the conclusion that Clearview is a top place for retirees lacks credibility. To strengthen the argument, the speaker should provide more information about living conditions and economic conditions here. To better evaluate the argument, more evidences of the medical treatments conditions here are needed.

smilecynthiaUID: 2365304

In the argument, the speaker claims that Clearview would be a place for retirees because of the spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate as well as the low taxes and good public services. （这句让人觉得很简洁，却又把意思把表达的很清楚）However, the argument is flawed in several critical respects.Firstly, the speaker straightly get the conclusion that Clearview would be the top choice simply from the fact that the climate and beautiful landscape. However, he fails to give us the evidence that retirees would be likely to choose to live here simply because of the beauty and consistent climate without considering other conditions such as traffic conditions and living styles here. It is possible that, for example, Clearview is far away from main cities of the nation and the traffic here is seriously bad, which means that it would be difficult for people here to go out. In this case many people would not choose Clearview as a place for retirement considering the communications with their friends and family members.（这点也可深入分析一下，否则力度不够，另外老年人需要同相年纪的伴，这是非常重要的。）

Another reason for my doubts is that low housing costs and taxes in Clearview, which seems attractively in the view of the author, would not be a convincing reason to be a bonus since the low housing costs and taxes would be the consequences of bad economic conditions here, which, on the other hand, would be a reason retirees do not choose Clearview as a place to live. In order to convince us that people would be likely to live here, evidence that the economic conditions in Clearview is pretty well while the housing costs and taxes are relatively lower than the neighboring communities is needed.(其实当地经济状况如何并不是老人所关心的问题，他们说关心的是，不良的经济状况所带来的社会问题）

Further more, the mayor’s promise to improve public services is another reason the speaker claims to be attractive to retirees. However, he fails to mention the fact that what retirees pay attention to is the living condition, security for example, （这里为什么要for example?） rather than public services such as schools mentioned above. If the speaker does not give us the exact data(这里用data并不好，用information吧) what people feels when they live here, it would not be persuasive enough for the speaker to ask retirees to live here.

Last but least, the speaker simply draws the conclusion that the medical care system in Clearview is pretty well just because the average number of physicians here is greater that other nations but not drops a word on the total number and the level of physicians. Without these evidences, the conclusion is not persuasive enough.

In sum, the conclusion that Clearview is a top place for retirees lacks credibility. To strengthen the argument, the speaker should provide more information about living conditions and economic conditions here. To better evaluate the argument, more evidences of the medical treatments conditions here are needed.（作者可提供一些当地老人的意见，比较有说服力的）

整篇文章语言还是比较简洁，观点也很鲜明。只是每一点都感觉只是蜻蜓点水，反驳的不够有利，让人并不能完全信服

[ 本帖最后由 smilecynthia 于 2007-12-1 16:51 编辑 ]