argument238【7\8\910】就快考试了，第十五次作业了

1001storyUID: 2516918

TOPIC: ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."
WORDS: 574  

The argument, while seems logical at first, has several flaws after a serious consideration. The author by comparing the success of Green Mountain College proposes that Mira Vista should add job counselors and courses about business and computer technology in order to conduct our graduates to glean their prospective employments. The author assumes that the high percentage of graduates form Green Mountain College last year receiving prospective jobs is attributed to the courses and job counselors, which can be imitated to tackle with the problem that fewer students graduating from Mira Vista College could find jobs immediately and are employed in their major fields. Considering the evidence mentioned in the argument, I argue that the conclusion just rests on untenable factors.

Firstly, the author assumes that the business courses and job counselors providing proficient interviewing skills and perfect resumes to students can increase the opportunities for students to be employed. In our common sense, the employer such as companies may offer a job to someone not only depending on resumes and performances of students but also taking the specialization knowledge, practical capability of work and the ability of cooperation in a group in to account. It is possible that Creen Mountain College always offers a chance for every student to participate an internship for a long term granting the student opportunity to gain the abilities mentioned above. The relationship between courses and counselors and employment is not clearly presented in this argument.

Spending three months or longer to find a full-time job does not present that students could not find job during these months. Perhaps graduates may find part time jobs in stead of full-time ones. Who can state that not working in the major field of study will discourage students? It is possible that many students who do not like the major they study could have a chance to engage in the field they prefer. Working in the field relevant to what students study in college may be the prospective employment for some students. It is well known that only a small percentage of graduates would work in their major fields in our contemporary society because of the keen competition in the labor market. Moreover, there is not a substantiated evidence to point out that students accepting the prospective offers in Creen Mountain College are employed in their major field.

Finally, even though assuming that the policy in Green Mountain College that allow their students to attend more business courses and consult from more professional counselors is efficacious. But this policy could not make any sense in Mira Vista College, because the limitation of the percentage of employment of its students may be caused by other factors, which can not be solved by this simple policy. The factors may include that there is a deficient system of education cultivating student without a comprehensive knowledge, and it is possible that college may do not offer a chance for students to practice in the society. These factors may be improved by other implements such as more internship and not by this policy.

To sum up, the argument fails to provide the essential factors including the concrete correlation between this policy and the employment of graduates from Mira Vista College, and whether the policy can solve the present employment problem of this college rather than some alternatives. If the argument had included the additional evidence above, it would have been more thoroughly and logically acceptable.

就快考试了，今天限时又失败了！！！:funk:

zhuzhuorUID: 2452739

The argument, while seems logical at first, has several flaws after a serious consideration. The author by comparing the success of Green Mountain College proposes that Mira Vista should add job counselors and courses about business and computer technology in order to conduct our graduates to glean their prospective employments. The author assumes that the high percentage of graduates form(from) Green Mountain College last year receiving prospective jobs is attributed to the courses and job counselors, which can be imitated to tackle with the problem that fewer students graduating from Mira Vista College could find jobs immediately and are employed in their major fields. Considering the evidence mentioned in the argument, I argue that the conclusion just rests on untenable factors.

Firstly, the author assumes that the business courses and job counselors providing proficient interviewing skills and perfect resumes to students can increase the opportunities for students to be employed. In our common sense, the employer such as companies may offer a job to someone not only depending on resumes and performances of students but also taking the specialization(specialized) knowledge, practical capability of work and the ability of cooperation in a group in to account. It is possible that Creen Mountain College always offers a chance for every student to participate an internship for a long term granting the student opportunity to gain the abilities mentioned above. The relationship between courses and counselors and employment is not clearly presented in this argument.(你是按照观点的重要性来组织文章结构的吗? 这段写的很好)

Spending three months or longer to find a full-time job does not present that students could not find job during these months. Perhaps graduates may find part(-)time jobs in stead of full-time ones. Who can state that not working in the major field of study will discourage students? It is possible that many students who do not like the major they study could have a chance to engage in the field they prefer. Working in the field relevant to what students study in college may be the prospective employment for some students. It is well known that only a small percentage of graduates would work in their major fields in our contemporary society because of the keen competition in the labor market. Moreover, there is not a substantiated evidence to point out that students accepting the prospective offers in Creen Mountain College are employed in their major field.

Finally, even though assuming that the policy in Green Mountain College that allow their students to attend more business courses and consult from more professional counselors is efficacious. But this policy could not make any sense in Mira Vista College, because the limitation of the percentage of employment of its students may be caused by other factors, which can not be solved by this simple policy. The factors may include that there is a deficient system of education cultivating student without a comprehensive knowledge, and it is possible that college may do not offer a chance for students to practice in the society. These factors may be improved by other implements such as more internship and not by this policy.(这段观点是不是有点跟你firstly那段重了?)

To sum up, the argument fails to provide the essential factors including the concrete correlation between this policy and the employment of graduates from Mira Vista College, and whether the policy can solve the present employment problem of this college rather than some alternatives. If the argument had included the additional evidence above, it would have been more thoroughly and logically acceptable.

就快考试了，今天限时又失败了！！！:funk: (囧, 你不是就比我早2天么, 你这么说搞得我压力很大啊...)

野猪大改造UID: 2484392

The argument, while seems logical at first, has several flaws after a serious consideration. The author by comparing the success of Green Mountain College proposes that Mira Vista should add job counselors and courses about business and computer technology in order to conduct our graduates to glean their prospective employments. The author assumes that the high percentage of graduates form Green Mountain College last year receiving prospective jobs is attributed to the courses and job counselors, which can be imitated to tackle with the problem that fewer students graduating from Mira Vista College could find jobs immediately and are employed in their major fields. Considering the evidence mentioned in the argument, I argue that the conclusion just rests on untenable factors.(个人觉得开头是不是太长了?)

Firstly, the author assumes that the business courses and job counselors providing proficient interviewing skills and perfect resumes to students can increase the opportunities for students to be employed. In our common sense, the employer such as companies may offer a job to someone not only depending on resumes and performances of students but also taking the specialization knowledge, practical capability of work and the ability of cooperation in a group in to account. It is possible that Creen Mountain College always offers a chance for every student to participate an internship for a long term granting the student opportunity to gain the abilities mentioned above. The relationship between courses and counselors and employment is not clearly presented in this argument.

Spending three months or longer to find a full-time job does not present that students could not find job during these months. Perhaps graduates may find part time jobs in stead of full-time ones. Who can state that not working in the major field of study will discourage students? It is possible that many students who do not like the major they study could have a chance to engage in the field they prefer. Working in the field relevant to what students study in college may be the prospective employment for some students. It is well known that only a small percentage of graduates would work in their major fields in our contemporary society because of the keen competition in the labor market. Moreover, there is not a substantiated evidence to point out that students accepting the prospective offers in Creen Mountain College are employed in their major field.

Finally, even though assuming that the policy in Green Mountain College that allow their students to attend more business courses and consult from more professional counselors is efficacious. But this policy could not make any sense in Mira Vista College, because the limitation of the percentage of employment of its students may be caused by other factors, which can not be solved by this simple policy. The factors may include that there is a deficient system of education cultivating student without a comprehensive knowledge, and it is possible that college may do not offer a chance for students to practice in the society. These factors may be improved by other implements such as more internship and not by this policy.(我也觉得是不是和firstly有点重。。。）

To sum up, the argument fails to provide the essential factors including the concrete correlation between this policy and the employment of graduates from Mira Vista College, and whether the policy can solve the present employment problem of this college rather than some alternatives. If the argument had included the additional evidence above, it would have been more thoroughly and logically acceptable.

能写这么多字是好事啊。即使时间超了，你在考场上也可以按时间来适量精简你的文章啦！挺好的！加油！

starter_123UID: 2576008

野猪大改造。。。。。。。个性的名字啊。

语言很流畅。