COMEON小组---9.4 Ktury 作业

kturyUID: 2274868

第一次掐时间写的,感觉困难很多,word:293,第三段感觉论述不全面.还请同学们猛批!有拍必回!

COMEON小组的同学,由于9.4号的作业我前不久刚写过,所以换了一道同属科技进步类的题目 如果同学不想批改两篇的话,那就帮我看看第一篇吧

2007年10月27日
independent: agree or dis: observing or studying animals can help us to understand human
9.56-10.30

Nowadays, there is a hot issue about understanding human. Some people agree with the statement that observing or studying animals can help people to understand human. In my opinion, however, I do not agree with them. I confirm that observing or research animals are useless for the current human being.

To the beginning with, maybe it is a little help and influence on studying animals to know about human. Admittedly, at first, people obtained some useful information from observing animals such as basic behaviors. Though these simple and basic theories, it is easy that defined the prime manners of human. But, according to today's people who have not merely considered the survival as ancient people did, they tend to think about more complex things. Thus, the history of human development provided by observing and studying animals can not handle the modern people's manners.

However, simply doing the research on animal behaviors is not enough. As the rapid development of society and industrialization, people had been evolved more and more complex and they used thoughts and abilities to create an totally different society from that of animals. Thus, as we all know, it is no denying that one could not be offered little approaches from the researches on animal to work out the social problems such as sex discrimination, crime activities, poverty and unemployment and so on.

Furthermore, In order to better recognize today's human, people should learn some scientific knowledge. There is much knowledge to study the human and the knowledge had been taught in schools. Such as the psychology, the one analyses human’s behaviors, also suggest better solutions to solve the interpersonal problems.

In sum, It is so clear that people should use the scientific and advancement methods to further understanding human.


另附:
20年后汽车会不会减少…
The rapid development of technology is benefiting the public whose life is more and more convenient. Some new technologies, Some new technologies bringing comfort to people, however, pollute environments, Like automobiles release waste gases caused the lung cancer. But, as far as I am concerned, the number of automobile will not decrease in the twenty years because of the automobile dependence, and the research on technologies.

To begin with, although the number of automobile in my country is enormous, only a part of people own cars and the number of automobile will increase with the society development. There is a large amount of population in my country and the huge domain, since it is hard to average the treasure among all people. Some remote areas still live in needy life where density of cars is rare. however, with the technology advanced, the merit of automobiles will drop and can even be afforded by those poor area's people . Furthermore, we all know that the value standard has been changing gradually. The new generation has tended to spend more money on the material stuffs rather than saving them. According to the research on the young people, cars and houses are the majority people's consumptions. Even more and more parents prepare cars and the houses for marrying sons/daughters

Secondly, because of the pollution of cars, people fierce denounce automobiles, but this issue cannot affect the number of automobiles. The nation has enacted the standard of waste smoke, and most of automobile producers have reached the standard. Meanwhile, the new resource substituted the gasoline has been researched. Once the new resource being applied, there will not be any pollution and the high expenditure on gasoline. For example, the hydrogen which produces water after burning and the solar energy are the environment protecting energies. Eventually, the new technology must stimulate more people to buy automobiles.

Last but not the least; driving is becoming an essential capability gradually. It is true that more and more universities students learn driving and get licenses. One of the significant reason is the driving ability could make them excel peers sometimes. Thus the sale account of automobile will increase with more and more people gripping on driving.

In sum, although currently the cars bring many troubles to the public, these problem will be figured out with the help of new technology. In the future, the number of cars must over now.




[ 本帖最后由 ktury 于 2008-9-5 16:13 编辑 ]

qawsedUID: 2359935

你和他互改下吧~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1772004071

kathyfei2007UID: 2436983

independent: agree or dis: observing or studying animals can help us to understand human |留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE].j
BRb
{g/Y
9.56-10.30
Nowadays, there is a hot issue about understanding human. Some people agree with the statement that observing or studying animals can help people to understand human. In my opinion,（和后面的I do not agree 似乎有点重复，建议删掉） however, I do not agree with them. I confirm that observing or research animals are useless for the current human being.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE        {#r ?9s5m`#n
%O6C]Fa,v)Y
To the beginning with, maybe it is a little (there is little)help and influence on studying animals to know (know 为及物动词+something）about human. Admittedly, at first, people obtained some useful information from observing animals such as basic behaviors. Though these simple and basic theories,(though 后要跟完整句子they are simple and basic theories), it is easy that defined (to define)the prime manners of human. （这句话的意思好像表述的不太清楚）But, according to today's people who have not merely considered the survival as ancient people did, they tend to think about more complex things. Thus, the history of human development （the history of the development of human)provided by observing and studying animals can not handle the modern people's manners.|留学|签((()证|TOEFL|GRE'w.N9x3L(!j'W&kz
P6gs)^4v
However, simply doing the research on animal behaviors is not enough. As the rapid development of society and industrialization(industry 与society 平行）, people had （have)been evolved (in)more and more complex(things) and they used(their) thoughts and abilities to create an totally(total)different society from that of animals. Thus, as we all know, it is no denying that one could not be offered little approaches (我觉得有点别扭，我会写one can hardly make out any solution) from the researches on animal to work out (del)the social problems such as sex discrimination, crime activities, poverty and unemployment and so on. 留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA,_!W"d+bYu:w*EA
^|-k*F"I
Furthermore, In order to better recognize today's human(better), people should learn some scientific knowledge. There is much knowledge to study the human and the knowledge had been taught in schools. Such as the psychology, the one analyses human’s behaviors, also suggest better solutions to solve the interpersonal problems.
In sum,(To sum up)It is so clear that people should use the scientific and advancement methods to further understanding （of)human.(Maybe studying and observing animal is not a good way or not sufficient to study human being)这样是否能更呼应主题？
总体思路和观点比较清晰，但是第二段的论证不太充分，有点脱离第二段的主题句！

kturyUID: 2274868

嘿嘿 谢谢
很受用!马上改...