【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】第六次综合作业 by 不会太久vivian

不会太久vivianUID: 2592395

辛苦了······

The lecture states the opinion that privatization of space travel couldn't benefit
neither public nor science.

The cost of private space travel is expensive because the controllment and operation would take a big budget. Furthermore, to ensure the safety of the journey,the technology need to be checked over and over again which also spend a lot.As a result,the price of ticket won't go down so fast. This is entirely opposit to the writer's expectation that the spaceflight will become cheaper.


Moreover, The effect of aerospace industry work on science may delay the discovering. Companies develop the research of project for the profit achievement which is much differ from the development of science. This another part where contradicted theory that the aerospace industry would benefit important science discoveries accur and need more sciencetiscs .

Finaly,the speaker raises the issue that the private space travel project contains many construction such airport station which need billions. Therefoe,tax couldn't meet the demand,which may require more tax from civalian.

So,the demonstration in the lecture is entirely reject the reading passage.

bjzhengjaUID: 2381883

The lecture states the opinion that privatization of space travel couldn't benefit neither public nor science.（既然neither…nor…了就别用not了~直接说would benefit neither…nor…就行了）The cost of private space travel is expensive because the controllment （control本身就有名词的意思，好像没有加ment的这个词）and operation would take a big budget. Furthermore, to ensure the safety of the journey, the technology need to be checked over and over again which also spend a lot. As a result, the price of ticket won't go down so fast. This is entirely opposite to the writer's expectation that the spaceflight will become cheaper

Moreover, The effect of aerospace industry work on science may delay the discovering. Companies develop the research of project for the profit achievement （achievement可以不要了，profit也是名词）which is much differ（different） from the development of science. This （is）another part where contradicted theory that the aerospace industry would benefit important science discoveries accur and need more sciencetiscs .（这俩词儿的拼写。。？）
Finaly（Finally）, the speaker raises the issue that the private space travel project contains many construction such airport station which need billions（of money）. Therefoe（Therefore）,tax couldn't meet the demand, which may require more tax from civalian.（citizens）

So,the demonstration in the lecture is entirely reject the reading passage.

拼写错误比较多，建议写的时候多注意。另外注意标点后面需要空一个格再写字母~有一些语法错误。不过内容上还是很清楚的，三段的重点都有了~

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

The lecture states the opinion that privatization of space travel couldn't benefit neither public nor science. (开头简洁，开门见山，喜欢）


The cost of private space travel is expensive because the controllment （controlment）and operation would take a big budget. Furthermore, to ensure the safety of the journey, the technology need to be checked over and over again which also spend a lot. As a result, the price of ticket won't go down so fast. This is entirely opposit( opposite) to the writer's expectation that the spaceflight will become cheaper.( h


Moreover, the effect of aerospace industry work on science may delay the discovering. Companies develop the research of project for the profit achievement which is much differ(different) from the development of science. This (is) another part where contradicted （contradicts） theory that the aerospace industry would benefit important science discoveries accur (occurence,或者干脆去掉) and need more sciencetiscs (scientists)



Finaly, the speaker raises the issue that the private space travel project contains many construction such as airport station which need billions. Therefoe, tax couldn't meet the demand, which may require more tax from civalian. (civilians)



So, the demonstration in the lecture is entirely reject the reading passage.

作为综合作文，这样写基本可以了，应该有不错的成绩，个别拼写用词再注意一下就可以了。 很不错，加油哦！

不会太久vivianUID: 2592395

多谢两位指正～！！

我耐心差·每次都不想检查··要磨磨啊···