【永不放弃】9号改4号 Argument188

cameo0320UID: 2599448

A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differntly from one antother, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids--a painkiller——to 28 men and 20 women who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required whereas men should be given other kinks of pain medication. In addition, researchers should be given other kinds of pain medication. In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.
TS: 1,我也不知道写的啥。
2，两组人数不一样，年龄不同的人对疼痛的认为不一样，同样的病痛，儿童要比成人疼。
3，只是牙疼，不能推广到广泛的疼。而且疼的程度也可能不一样。
4，我也不知道写的啥。、
5，blablabla.....

The argument place an uncomplete study to prove the conclusion that fails to make the readers convinced. (第一句话最好说明作者的论断)The research is based on a new report, which there is no evidence to support it is true or its reasonable.（这句话别扭） So at the very beginning, the researchers may follow a flawed report to carry an irrationally study that can prove nothing. Even more, the study contributes a conclusion that researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women, which confused the conclusion of the reports.

（开头有问题，开头模式应该是先陈述作者的论断，然后简单介绍作者的论据，最后说这个argument有很多问题）

First,（Firstly） the argument presents that men and women experience pain differently from each other in order to state that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications to patients. (一般开头的TS要陈述这段要攻击的主要内容)Researchers chose two groups that have a different number of people that makes it difficult to balance the result whether men or women experience pain very differently from each other. So the different amount of patients makes the researchers' study inaccuracy. In addition, people with different ages may have different reflex of pain. General, adults sustain the painful harder than the children, infants may very sensitive to the pain. So if the experiment uses different ages of patients, it may also affect the results.


Second,(secondly) the study is pointing at the patients who are having their wisdom teeth extracted. We didn't know their degree of illness, so patients are not having the same extent of pain from the very beginning. What's more, we cannot draw a conclusion about pain by only using an experiment of teeth pain. If people always take the kappa opioids, this kind of patients may have become resistant to kappa opioids. If so, there wouldn't be any influenced for theses people when using kappa opioids as painkiller. （你这是要攻击啥？）


Third,(Thirdly) the report is trying to（时态不对吧……） explain man and women have different feelings for pain, but researchers use a study to demonstrate painkillers come to a different effect to patients then focus the conclusion to researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.


Concluded, the argument based on a report that about the reflex of pain on men and women. Then carrying an experiment on men and women to detect their reflex. But the study has several fallacies that neither can support the report rationally nor generalize a satisfied conclusion. （结尾段一般应该提一些改善性的意见，如果怎么做……那么这个结论就更令人信服）

还有就是语言不够专业，建议多看范文，提炼模板

呵呵，嘟嘟加油啊