【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 mimica第五次作业】

mimicaUID: 2457275

With the fast-paced development of new technology, human beings nowadays have chances to enjoy more convenient life than their counterparts did in the past. However, nobody could ignore the negative effects caused by the widely use of high-technology that make our livers more complicated than before. In my opinion, technology is a double-edged sword; whether it benefit people or make lots of troubles in a sense depends on the way how we use it.

Thanks to the invention of various engines, people today can travel almost everywhere all over the world, by car or bus in a short distance, by plane of ship for thousands of miles. Accompanied with a much more comfortable journey than has ever been before, a critical problem we have to encounter is the excessive discharge of warm greenhouse gases and other toxic gases which increase the incidence of lung cancer in big cities, as well as other correlative diseases. More over, most people lived in cities have experience suffering from severe traffic jams which not only waste our time but also make us bored and upset. The more benefits technologies bring us, the more existent or potential problems we have to face.

Things go more complicated when technology is used in military. Hot news recently reported is the collision of two British and France nuclear submarines in the Atlantic Ocean. Although the accident caused neither injuries nor damage to vessels’ weapon, it really shocked the UK and France governments. The collision of two submarines, both with nuclear reactors and nuclear weapons onboard, could have released vast amounts of radiation and scattered scores of nuclear warheads across the seabed. From this accident, every one of us should reconsider the use of technology.

In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that technology makes people’s lives simpler and convenient; however, there are much adverse aspects which in turn to make our lives more complicated. A key problem in front of us is how we control the abuse of technology.

mimicaUID: 2457275

没检查好.

alexdelUID: 2265655

With the fast-paced development of new technology, human beings nowadays have chances to enjoy more convenient life than their counterparts did in the past. However, nobody could(can) ignore the negative effects caused by the widely use of high-technology that make our livers(lives) more complicated than before. In my opinion, technology is a double-edged sword; whether it benefit(s) people or make(s) lots of troubles in a sense depends on the way how we use it.0 W3 }! w& t* I; J4 j  S

（过渡下吧）Thanks to the invention(s) of various engines, people today can travel almost everywhere all over the world, by car or bus in a short distance, by plane of ship for thousands of miles. Accompanied with a much more comfortable journey than has ever been before, a critical problem we have to encounter（既然是遭遇，就不需要have to) is the excessive discharge of warm greenhouse gases and other toxic gases which increase the incidence of lung cancer in big cities, as well as other correlative diseases. More over, most people lived(living) in cities have experience suffering from severe traffic jams which not only waste our time but also make us bored and upset. The more benefits technologies bring us, the more existent or potential problems we have to face.
Things go more complicated when technology is used in military. Hot news recently reported is the collision of two British and France nuclear submarines in the Atlantic Ocean. Although the accident caused neither injuries nor damage to vessels’ weapon(s), it really shocked the UK and France governments. The collision of (+the) two submarines, both with nuclear reactors and nuclear weapons onboard, could have（下面都应该用虚拟语气吧？） released vast amounts（为什么有s?) of radiation and scattered scores of nuclear warheads across the seabed. From(After) this accident, every one of us should reconsider the use of technology.
}* H+ T$ H8 J2 n: |, B2 Q
In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that technology makes people’s lives simpler and convenient; however, there are much adverse aspects which in turn to make our lives more complicated. A key problem in front of us is how we control the abuse of technology.

总评：用的词汇很多很活，佩服佩服！基本上很完美。。

风潇子UID: 2247811

With the fast-paced development of new technology, human beings nowadays have chances to enjoy more convenient life than their counterparts （这个词好是蛮好的，就是不知道用在这里合不合适）did in the past. However, nobody could ignore the negative effects caused by the widely use of high-technology that make our livers more complicated than before. In my opinion, technology is a double-edged sword; whether it benefit (benefits) people or makes lots of troubles in a sense depends on the way how we use it.

Thanks to the invention of various engines, people today can travel almost everywhere all over the world, by car or bus in a short distance, by plane of ship for thousands of miles. Accompanied with a much more comfortable journey than has ever been before, a critical problem we have to encounter is the excessive discharge of warm greenhouse gases and other toxic gases which increase the incidence of lung cancer in big cities, as well as other correlative diseases. More over, most people lived in cities have experience suffering from severe traffic jams which not only waste our time but also make us bored and upset. The more benefits technologies bring us, the more existent or potential problems we have to face.
建议本段首句可以一开始就概括一下
_& b$ Q, O3 x


Things go more complicated (不知道这种表达可不可以) when technology is used in military. Hot news recently reported is the collision of two British and France nuclear submarines in the Atlantic Ocean. Although the accident caused neither injuries nor damage to vessels’ weapon, it really shocked the UK and France governments. The collision of two submarines, both with nuclear reactors and nuclear weapons onboard, could have released vast amounts of radiation and scattered scores of nuclear warheads across the seabed. From this accident, every one of us should reconsider the use of technology.


In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that technology makes people’s lives simpler and convenient; however, there are much adverse aspects which in turn to make our lives more complicated. A key problem in front of us is how we control the abuse of technology.


写的不错，尤其是用词和句型，所以改的也不多，要向你学习！！！