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[未归类] TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 qing200 第五次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-18 15:24:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Do you agree or disagree, technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

I strongly agree that technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated. The initial purpose of technology is to make our life simpler and easier, however, in most cases it leads our lives more complicated. From all aspects of our lives we can see this point.


The original purpose of technology is to make our lives simpler and less complicated. Technology is a primary symbol of the development of human civilization. It is used as a tool to make our lives more convenient and less laborious. The invention of cultivator greatly changed the work that farmer do in field. Instead of plowing field with plow and animals, farmers only need to drive a cultivator to work in field, which makes plow field far easier and simpler. And efficiency of farmers is greatly improved with the cultivator. But the majority of people fail to realize that the produce of machines and the maintenance of machines make the matter more complicated as a whole.

It is said that the world become smaller than before. Definitely it dose not mean the planet that we live on become smaller. But the invention of internet and the electronic communication tools make people can contact with each other all over the world and the transportation system enables us to see people from different countries much easier than before, which in some sense makes the world smaller. People hardly can communicate with each other before these things were invented even they are in the same country. But now we can communicate with people all over the world in minutes with internet or telephone. The most direct purpose of these inventions is to make our communication simpler and easier. It brings much convenience for us, but meanwhile, it really makes our lives much complicated than before for the interaction between people make not only our lives become more complex but also the whole world begin to interweave together. For example, we need to send regards to our far away parents, lovers, friends, and relatives. Without these tools, our lives might be much simpler for we, in most cases, only need to communicate with the person around us and ourselves as well.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion; our society has dramatically changed by modern technology and science, and human had made extraordinary progress in technology and knowledge. The world we live in become more complicated than before although the initially purpose of technology is to make our lives simpler.


这篇作文不怎么好写。。。
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发表于 2009-2-18 23:50:46 |只看该作者
I strongly agree that technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated. The initial purpose of technology is to make our life simpler and easier, however, in most cases it leads(to) our lives more complicated. From all aspects of our lives we can see this point.9 a" g2 R) Z6 Z1 U0 O
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The original purpose of technology is to make our lives simpler and less complicated. Technology is a primary symbol of the development of human civilization.(Technology, as no doubt, is a primary symbol of the development of human civilization whicn serves to improve the quality of daily life) It is used as a (utilized as an efficient)tool to make our lives more convenient and less laborious. The invention of cultivator (The invention of cultivator,for instance,)greatly changed the work (work methods)that farmer do in field(that famers are engaged in). Instead of plowing field with plow and animals(by herd), farmers only need to drive a cultivator to work in field, which makes plow field far easier and simpler. And efficiency of farmers is greatly improved with the cultivator.(上两句意思相同, driving cultivator in ploudland is a cheerful and relaxed working style for famers) But (However,)the majority of people fail to(fail to形容意识不恰当) realize that the produce of machines and the maintenance of machines make the matter more complicated as a whole. (A majority of people are unaware of the fact that our lives are getting involved in complexity through the advent of high-tech machines as well)/ V' E& y6 h. g4 y2 v* E+ o

(此段主题句呢?你是想表达科技带给人们复杂的一面吧)It is said that the world become smaller than before. Definitely it dose not mean the planet that we live on become smaller. But the invention of internet and the electronic communication tools make people can contact with each other all over the world and the transportation system enables us to see people from different countries much easier than before, which in some sense makes the world smaller. People hardly can communicate with each other before these things were invented even they are in the same country. But now we can communicate with people all over the world in minutes with internet or telephone. The most direct purpose of these inventions is to make our communication simpler and easier. It brings much convenience for us, (前面都还说科技的好处,与你的中心观点背离,应该直接谈复杂性)but meanwhile, it really makes our lives much complicated than before for the interaction between people make not only our lives become more complex but also the whole world begin to interweave together. For example, we need to send regards to our far away parents, lovers, friends, and relatives. Without these tools, our lives might be much simpler for we, in most cases, only need to communicate with the person around us and ourselves as well.(这个例子不恰当,难道科技让我们给家人爱人送祝福也是复杂?这是human nature吧 我想复杂的一面是指科技让人们的内心世界变得灰暗,比如人际关系更加复杂等,上段词汇和语法错误就不一一列出了)!( l( Z! h5 i7 ~5 E
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From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion; our society has dramatically changed by modern technology and science, and human had made extraordinary progress in technology and knowledge. The world we live in become more complicated than before although the initially purpose of technology is to make our lives simpler

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板凳
发表于 2009-2-19 20:23:38 |只看该作者
Do you agree or disagree, technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

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I strongly agree that technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated. The initial purpose of technology is to make our life simpler and easier, however, in most cases it leads our lives more complicated.感觉这2句话好像是在凑字数,如果没有什么好说的,那么开头就简单点好咯,不要这两句话)From all aspects of our lives we can see this point. we can see this point from many aspects of our lives( 个人感觉,all 有些绝对)l: j4 P6 O8 (X+ |# b1 a
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The original purpose of technology is to make our lives simpler and less complicated. Technology is a primary symbol of the development of human civilization. It is used as a tool to make our lives more convenient and less laborious.有跟本段第一句话重复的嫌疑)The invention of cultivator greatly changed (improved) the work that farmer do in field. (这一句有些来的唐突,但是个很好的例子,可以在句子前面加个,“for example")Instead of plowing field with plow and animals, farmers only need to drive a cultivator to work in field, which makes plow field far easier and simpler. And efficiency of farmers is greatly improved with the cultivator.(Famers' working efficency has been fully enhanced by such an inventiuon). But the majority of people fail to realize that the produce of machines and the maintenance of machines make the matter more complicated as a whole.(感觉对make people's lives simpler 描述还可以,但是In turn to make people's lives more complicated 这个论证不充分。这个题目从某种程度上来说,如果你同意题目的观点的话,应该后面论证是重点)

It is said that the world become smaller than before( 这个强调句放在这里感觉不好,不是语法问题,要么你直接点people always say that our world become smaller. 个人观点,参考) . Definitely it dose not mean the planet that we live on become smaller. But the invention of internet and the electronic communication tools make people can(Can 去掉easily contact with each other all over the world and the transportation system enables us to see people from different countries much easier than before, (去掉 which in some sense makes the world smaller). People hardly can communicate with each other before these things were invented even they are in the same country. But now we can communicate with people all over the world in minutes with internet or telephone. The most direct purpose of these inventions is to make our communication simpler and easier. It brings much convenience for us, but meanwhile, it really makes our lives much complicated than before for the interaction between people make not only our lives become more complex but also the whole world begin to interweave together. For example, we need to send regards to our far away parents, lovers, friends, and relatives. (这个理由是复杂的原因?先汗一个)Without these tools, our lives might be much simpler for we, in most cases, only need to communicate with the person around us and ourselves as well.(这段有点失败,建议重写)

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion; our society has dramatically changed by modern technology and science, and human had made extraordinary progress in technology and knowledge. The world we live in become more complicated than before although the initially purpose of technology is to make our lives simpler.(还是那句话,如果你同意题中的观点的话,后面的complicated 是论证的关键,可惜你没有做好)
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RE: TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 qing200 第五次作业 [修改]

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