【TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 水龙娃娃的 第五次作业】

水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

Do you agree or disagree, technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated?

With technology developing at a high speed, every corner of the world has been enjoyed a marvelous changing. However, an increasing number of people point out that it is technology that not only benefits us, but make our life more complex as well. It has been a heat discussion for a long time. As far as I am concerned , technology indeed make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated since the reasons that amply illustrate my point involve economics field and our daily life.

First , technology have a large influence on economy. For instance, the stock market cannot grow up to such prosperous extent without computers for it really bring the convenience for people to do a series of business deal. Nevertheless , the development of the technology of computing also have some drawbacks which could lead a complex life for people. After the financial crisis break out, Alan Greenspan ,the ex-chairman of Federal Reserve explained that it was the development of computing that provided stocker enough technology to create so many financial derivatives that led the financial crisis . Though we totally know what is the most crucial factor which caused this crisis , we must admit the technology of computing should also be a stimulating factor of this disaster. We could see a lot of mass after the benefits brought by the technology.

In addition, technology would have tremendous effect on our daily lives. After promoting the living quality and providing us a simpler life, technology would bring many troubles to us. There is a time when we fall into complication for our essays disappear unexpectedly in the computer due to the computer viruses, when the abrupt trouble in the video conference makes hay of our business plan, when we cannot enter our house because the intelligent card does not work all of a sudden. Millions of people have encountered such things and it is technology development that would trouble us more frequently.

Consequently, technology really make a gorgeous difference to the human beings and make people’ lives simpler such as the invention of computer or car. At the same time , we cannot deny that it also bring some problems which complicate our lives in turn for there always exists many unpredictable things which would happen in technological productions to make people’s lives more complicated.

neozhongnlUID: 2448721

With technology developing at a high speed, every corner of the world has been enjoyed（这里被动不大常见） a marvelous changing. However, an increasing（ly） number of people point out that it is technology that not only benefits us, but make our life more complex as well(逻辑有误，并不是并列关系，是转折关系). It has been a heat discussion for a long time（这句话想表达什么？）. As far as I am concerned , technology indeed make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated （since the reasons that amply）括号里的没懂 illustrate my point involve economics field and our daily life

First , technology have(has…in fact if u use inserts, it would be better) a large(an important) influence on economy. For instance, the stock market cannot grow up to such prosperous extent without computers for it really bring the convenience for people to do a series of business deal. Nevertheless , the development of the technology of computing also have some drawbacks which could lead (to) a complex life for people. After the financial crisis break out, Alan Greenspan ,the ex-chairman of Federal Reserve explained that it was the development of computing that provided stocker enough technology to create so many financial derivatives that led the financial crisis . Though we totally know what is the most crucial factor which caused this crisis(是什么应该指出来，这里的说法是中国人的思维方式) , we must admit the technology of computing should also be a stimulating factor of this disaster. We could see a lot of mass after the benefits brought by the technology.

In addition, technology would have tremendous effect on our daily lives. After promoting the living quality and providing us a simpler life, technology would bring many troubles to us. There is a time（are times） when we fall into complication for our essays disappear unexpectedly in the computer due to the computer viruses, when the abrupt trouble in the video conference makes hay of our business plan, when we cannot enter our house because the intelligent card does not work all of a sudden. Millions of people have encountered such things and it is technology development that would trouble us more frequently

Consequently, technology really make(s) a gorgeous difference to the human beings and make (s) people’ lives simpler such as the invention of computer or car. At the same time , we cannot deny that it also bring some problems which complicate(s) our lives in turn for there always exists many unpredictable things which would happen in technological productions to make people’s lives more complicated.

ericsong1125UID: 2493162

With technology developing at a high speed, every corner of the world has been enjoyed a marvelous changing.（这句表达太chinglish了吧，而且被动语态的用法貌似有点问题）However, an increasing number of people point out that it is technology that not only benefits us, but make our life more complex as well.（这是不但而且的意思，LZ要表达什么？是平衡观点侧重后面吗？） It has been a heat discussion for a long time. As far as I am concerned, technology indeed make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated since the reasons that amply illustrate （不明白）my point involve economics field and our daily life.
First, technology have a large influence （很大影响这个表达有点汉语的味道）on economy. For instance, the stock market cannot grow up to such prosperous extent without computers for it really bring the convenience for people to do a series of business deal. Nevertheless, the development of the technology of computing also have some drawbacks which could lead （to）a complex life for people. After the financial crisis break out, Alan Greenspan, the ex-chairman of Federal Reserve explained that it was the development of computing that provided stocker enough technology to create so many financial derivatives that led the financial crisis. Though we totally know what is the most crucial factor which caused this crisis, we must admit the technology of computing should also be a stimulating factor of this disaster. We could see a lot of mass after the benefits brought by the technology.（这段的例子是新颖但是和论点契合的不好，有点局部概括整体的味道，建议例子应该从本质问题着手）

In addition, technology would have tremendous effect on our daily lives. After promoting the living quality and providing us a simpler life, technology would bring many troubles to us. There is a time when we fall into complication for our essays disappear unexpectedly in the computer due to the computer viruses, when the abrupt trouble in the video conference makes hay of our business plan, when we cannot enter our house because the intelligent card does not work all of a sudden. Millions of people have encountered（这个词用的有点狠，face就可以了吧） such things and it is technology development that would trouble us more frequently. （感觉这段没有起到加强论证的作用，例子是很翔实的，可是证明力却不明显，有点牵强附会）

Consequently, technology really makes a gorgeous difference to the human beings and make people's lives simpler such as the invention of computer or car. At the same time , we cannot deny that it also bring some problems which complicate our lives in turn for there always exists many unpredictable things which would happen in technological productions to make people’s lives more complicated.

总体感觉态度不够清晰，平衡偏否定，但是LZ没有表述清晰。小的错误太多，用词上变化不大，比如people's 这种表达很多，建议多点变化。
文章结构没什么问题，第二段论证稍弱了一些，有点头重脚轻的感觉。汉语翻译的痕迹明显，建议表述上考虑改变方式。

头次修改，说的不对还请指正。