[TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 truthzl的 第七次作业]

truthzlUID: 2592971

Do you agree or disagree the following statement: nowadays people spend much time on personal enjoyment-things they like to do-rather than the things they should do.


To let me have a selection between the enjoyments of mine and things I should do but not my favor, I will undoubtedly make the first alternative. And majority of people will have the same option as mine, I believe. Spending much time on hobbies is universal.

For people, compare with the outcome that they do the things of responsibility, they are enjoying the happiness while doing their favorable affairs, things will also be accomplished more effectively. It’s the reason that teachers always let us make learning be an entertainment. With study be a hobby, we can get either higher score or enlarge our knowledge simply.
Actually, once people are keen on something, they are more likely to forget time sometimes. People own a easy and comfortable mood while entertaining. In that case , people are tend to forget the time. Another reason is that people is often make a psychological hint for lasting the process of their enjoyments. It reported that a great amount of people indulge in computer games in recent years. Study shows most view computer games as their enjoyment, and if they make a beginning of the games, they tell themselves last them again and again. So once you start doing them, you can’t stop them , and you will addicted to them easily if you can’t control yourself well.

In a conclusion, people are more possible to do the things what they like than do the things only be ought to. So that the enjoyments of ours are very important, they should be well-liking, positive and useful. Developing some active hobbies for us is the key method that prevent us from wasting time and energy.

这是小女子生平第一篇托福作文，希望各位不要手下留情，狠狠地批改吧！

qing200UID: 2507993

Do you agree or disagree the following statement: nowadays people spend much time on personal enjoyment-things they like to do-rather than the things they should do.
$ T( y" i- d2 D% l
! |4 Y- y# j1 k, J
' p! L1 r4 A5 h& q: R( }% u7 LTo let me have a selection between the enjoyments of mine and things I should do but not my favor, I will undoubtedly make the first alternative. And majority of people will have the same option as mine, I believe. Spending much time on hobbies is universal.
5 p. _+ o1 P  X/ b% h: z
$ A$ B  L: y9 SFor people, compare（comparing） with the outcome that they do the things of responsibility, （这前后两句话这样说就没关联了， 后面那个their favorable改成these指代前面的他和things）they are enjoying the happiness while doing their favorable affairs,（+by this means） things will also be accomplished more effectively. It’s the reason that teachers always let us make learning be an entertainment.(这句话念的不怎么通顺哈， 我念了好久哦， 想修改一下，但苦于水平有限不知怎么改]With study be a hobby, we can get either higher score or enlarge our knowledge simply. ; k0 ^. b8 b: Y$ u+ A* i) N
Actually, once people are keen on something, they are more likely to forget time sometimes. People own a easy and comfortable mood while entertaining. In that case , people are tend to forget the time. Another reason is that people is often make a psychological hint for lasting the process of their enjoyments. It reported that a great amount of people indulge in computer games in recent years. 连续几个句子是people做主语开头的，显得句式简单重叠Study shows most view computer games as their enjoyment, and if they make a beginning of the games, they tell themselves last them again and again. So once you start doing them, you can’t stop them , and you will addicted to them easily if you can’t control yourself well.
0 Q# y* T/ d+ C# ^3 Y3 m- H" U2 H% e4 h# n" O
In a conclusion, people are more possible to do the things what they like than do the things only be ought to. So that the enjoyments of ours are very important, they should be well-liking, positive and useful. Developing some active hobbies for us is the key method that prevent us from wasting time and energy.
我感觉这篇文章和题意有点偏，题目是人们花太多的时间放在enjoyment上而不是做那些应该做的事情上
而此文好像在说人们做事情的时候enjoy做事的过程和enjoy这些事情中的happiness
个人意见，如有不妥望谅解！
. Y' n" ^; c+ O9 ?; S4 P
. R; @, v% ^2 h" P2 C. _

truthzlUID: 2592971

哦，谢谢，我也觉得当时我写这篇题目的时候有点偏题，我会重新写的。

tanyangbjUID: 2601443

7 x& [# c9 `: X- ?1 t4 @- k To let me have a selection between the enjoyments of mine and things I should do but not my favor, I will undoubtedly make the first alternative. (写的太复杂了)And majority of people will have the same option as mine, I believe. Spending much time on hobbies is universal.0 U: T9 K#
For people, compare with the outcome that they do the things of responsibility, they are enjoying the happiness while doing their favorable affairs, things will also be accomplished more effectively. It’s the reason that teachers always let us make learning be an entertainment. With study be a hobby, we can get either higher score or enlarge our knowledge simply.
7 Y4 _3 h! P! S/ vActually, once people are keen on something, they are more likely to forget time sometimes. People own a easy and comfortable mood while entertaining. In that case , people are tend to forget the time. Another reason is that people is often make a psychological hint for lasting the process of their enjoyments. It reported that a great amount of people indulge in computer games in recent years. Study shows most view computer games as their enjoyment, and if they make a beginning of the games, they tell themselves last them again and again. So once you start doing them, you can’t stop them , and you will addicted to them easily if you can’t control yourself well.0 e; h4 R2 I) E, ~& d& F
In a conclusion, people are more possible to do the things what they like than do the things only be ought to. So that the enjoyments of ours are very important, they should be well-liking, positive and useful. Developing some active hobbies for us is the key method that prevent us from wasting time and energy.
! q4 O( P3 \2 D/ g3 [


挺好的