TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作 qing200 第七次作业

qing200UID: 2507993

Do you agree with the following statement: nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment –things they like to do—rather than the things they should do.


Alone with the rapidly development of modern society and the booming of the entertainment
industry, there is a growing tendency for public people these days to take part in recreation activities， and the awareness of enjoyment of people has been greatly improved. Some people point out that people now spend too much time on enjoyment rather than the things they ought to do. As for me, I tend to in favor of the opinion that people now pay as much as time on the things that they should, if not more than did before; and their enjoyment based on doing things that they should do.

It is indisputable that enjoyment of people has been greatly improved and people spend much more time on entertainment than before. But those who believe that people spend too much time on enjoyment nowadays fail to take into the account the basic fact that in current society most enjoyment are money consuming, that is it depends on peoples’ work to earn enough money to enjoy the entertainment items. For example, people who do not work hard or they are too lazy to work for enough money to live a decent live, they might even not be able to enjoy TV programs at home, because they cannot afford to by a TV set. So without doing the things they should do, they might even lose the easiest way of enjoyment.


Although many people claim that, alone with the improvement of life quality, people tend to spend too much time on enjoyment instead of doing the things they ought to do. The information I collected over recent year’s leads me to believe that the time people spend on enjoyment actually less than before, because in order to support their families or provide their families more comfortable life conditions, the majority of people have to spend much more time on jobs to earn more money. And also the majority of people is working hard for fear that they will lose the job or misses promotion opportunities. That’s why work overtime is a common phenomenon in current society.

It is universally acknowledged that competition becomes more and more intensive, which places great pressure on people in modern society. This is not only impact workers, but also students. Students are an obvious example to show that people spend less time on enjoyment. There is no denying that today students can enjoy many qualified entertainment items such as suffering internet, watching TV programs or films, and so on so forth. But their time left on enjoyment has been greatly shortened. As the knowledge accumulated in an exponential speed in modern society, the workload for students in school is much heavier than before. Moreover, there is a growing tendency for parents to ask their children to accept extra educational programs over the recent years. They believe that additional educational activities enjoy obvious advantage. By extra studies, they maintain, their children are able to obtain many kinds of practical skills and useful knowledge, which will put them in a beneficial and competitive position in the future job market when they grow up. This is not only the idea of parents, but also many students hold this point. That is reason why students are become more and more busy now. They really spend less time on enjoyment than before.

Proper enjoyment dose not occupy people too much time. In fact, it is unhealthy for people to spend too much time on their work. As an old saying goes: All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Moreover, enjoyment contributes greatly to people’s physical and mental fitness as well as developing personal character. It is wise for people to spend some time on enjoyment. So for people who want to adopt a healthy and meaningful life style, it is important to strike a balance between work and enjoyment.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion: although our enjoyment methods are much abundant than before, people dose not spend too much time on enjoyment because the large work load and the intensive competition in current society occupy their much time and energy. Without that, work, enjoyment means little.


不是限时写的，字数有点多，
感觉不知道走题了没

enjoyment的理解成娱乐享受

lewinskyUID: 2479218

Alone with the rapidly development of modern society and the booming（boom) of the entertainment# WDindustry, there is a growing tendency for public people these days to take part in recreation activities， and the awareness of enjoyment of people has been greatly improved（参加娱乐活动意识改善？这句可删掉）. Some people point out that people now spend too much time on enjoyment rather than the things they ought to do. As for me, I tend to in favor of the opinion that people now pay as much as time on the things that they should, if not more than did before; and their enjoyment based on doing things that they should do.

It is indisputable that enjoyment of people has been greatly improved and people spend much more time on entertainment than before（Indisputably, the recreational facilities has been greatly improved which allow an increasing number people consume much more time on enterainment than before). But those who believe that people spend too much time on enjoyment nowadays fail to take into the account the basic fact that in current society most enjoyment are money consuming, that is it depends on peoples’ work to earn enough money to enjoy the entertainment items(However, those who believe that enjoyment is time-consuming fail to take in the account the fundamental values of social activity, which depends on the ability to earn enough money). For example, people who do not work hard or they are too lazy to work for enough money to live a decent live, they might even not be able to enjoy TV programs at home, because they cannot afford to by a TV set.(例子有点牵强） So（Thus等） without doing the things they should do, they might even lose the easiest way of enjoyment.(Thus, by no means does they have the opportunate to do personal enjoyment without doing the thing they should do, 每段开头可以把主题句点明）5 u) n" O$ T6 `6 W8 J* I

: s# e/ ]2 I8 C4 t
Although many people claim that, alone with the improvement of life quality, people tend to spend too much time on enjoyment instead of doing the things they ought to do（这句表达不清，尽管怎样？但是怎样？）. The information I collected over recent year’s leads me to believe that the time people spend on enjoyment actually less than before, because in order to support their families or provide their families more（改成with) comfortable life conditions, the majority of people have to spend much more time on jobs to earn more money. And also the majority of people is working hard for fear that they will lose the job or misses promotion opportunities. That’s why work overtime is a common phenomenon in current society.(最后两句其实没有说明人们现在参加娱乐活动时间减少）

It is universally acknowledged that competition becomes more and more intensive, which places（imposes) great pressure on people in modern society. This is not only impact workers, but also students. Students are an obvious example to show that people spend less time on enjoyment. There is no denying that today students can enjoy many qualified entertainment items such as suffering internet, watching TV programs or films, and so on so forth. But their time left on enjoyment has been greatly shortened. As the knowledge accumulated in an exponential speed in modern society, the workload for students in school is much heavier than before. Moreover, there is a growing tendency for parents to ask their children to accept extra educational programs over the recent years. They believe that additional educational activities enjoy obvious advantage. By extra studies, they maintain, their children are able to obtain many kinds of practical skills and useful knowledge, which will put them in a beneficial and competitive position in the future job market when they grow up. This is not only the idea of parents, but also many students hold this point. That is reason why students are become more and more busy now. They really spend less time on enjoyment than before. (此段的论证角度从学生出发！但从全文来看又缺乏论证，你可以将的观点从三个角度论证，即上班族，学生，企业家等,部分错误还可改进）

Proper enjoyment dose not occupy people too much time. In fact, it is unhealthy for people to spend too much time on their work. As an old saying goes: All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Moreover, enjoyment contributes greatly to people’s physical and mental fitness as well as developing personal character. It is wise for people to spend some time on enjoyment. So for people who want to adopt a healthy and meaningful life style, it is important to strike a balance between work and enjoyment. （你的观点到底倾向the things they should do还是平衡观点？有点不明确）

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From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion: although our enjoyment methods are much abundant than before, people dose not spend too much time on enjoyment because the large work load and the intensive competition in current society occupy their much time and energy. Without that, work, enjoyment means little.

neozhongnlUID: 2448721

Alone（along） with the rapidly development of modern society and the booming of the entertainment  industry, there is a growing tendency for (the) public (people—delete) these days to take part in recreation activities， and the awareness of enjoyment of people has been greatly improved.(有点怪) Some people point out that people now spend too much time on enjoyment rather than the things they ought to do. As for me, I tend to （BE） in favor of the opinion that people now pay as much as time on the things that they should, if not more than（THEY） did before; and their enjoyment based on doing things that they should do.（可能是因为表达的问题，没能理解你的意思

It is indisputable that enjoyment of people has been greatly improved and people spend much more time on entertainment than before. But those who believe that people spend too much time on enjoyment nowadays fail to take into the account （OF） the basic fact that in current society most enjoyment are money consuming, that is it depends on peoples’ work to earn enough money to enjoy the entertainment items.（语法错误，造成没能理解） For example, people who do not work hard or they are too lazy to work for enough money to live a decent live, they might even not be able to enjoy TV programs at home, because they cannot afford to by a TV set. So without doing the things they should do, they might even lose the easiest way of enjoyment.


Although many people claim that, alone（ALONG） with the improvement of life quality, people tend to spend too much time on enjoyment instead of doing the things they ought to do. The information I collected over recent year’s（YEARS） leads me to believe that the time people spend on enjoyment actually （IS）less than before, because in order to support their families or provide their families more comfortable life conditions, the majority of people have to spend much more time on jobs to earn more money. And also the majority of people is working hard for （THE）fear that they will lose the job or misses promotion opportunities. That’s why work overtime is a common phenomenon in current society.（应该进一步说明与主题的关系）   

It is universally acknowledged that competition becomes more and more intensive, which places great pressure on people in modern society. This is not only impact（ING ON） workers, but also （ON）students. Students are an obvious example to show that people spend less time on enjoyment. There is no denying that today students can enjoy many qualified entertainment items such as suffering internet, watching TV programs or films, and so on so forth. But their time left on enjoyment has been greatly shortened. As the knowledge accumulated in an exponential speed in modern society, the workload for students in school is much heavier than before. Moreover, there is a growing tendency for parents to ask their children to accept extra educational programs over the recent years. They believe that additional educational activities enjoy obvious advantage. By extra studies, they maintain, their children are able to obtain many kinds of practical skills and useful knowledge, which will put them in a beneficial and competitive position in the future job market when they grow up. This is not only the idea of parents, but also many students hold this point. That is reason why students are become more and more busy now. They really spend less time on enjoyment than before.

Proper enjoyment dose not occupy people too much time. In fact, it is unhealthy for people to spend too much time on their work. As an old saying goes: All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Moreover, enjoyment contributes greatly to people’s physical and mental fitness as well as developing personal character. It is wise for people to spend some time on enjoyment. So for people who want to adopt a healthy and meaningful life style, it is important to strike a balance between work and enjoyment.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion: although our enjoyment methods are much abundant than before, people dose not spend too much time on enjoyment because the large work load and the intensive competition in current society occupy their much time and energy. Without that, work, enjoyment means little.

（第一段没能清楚的表明观点，最后一段还说的比较清楚，但中间的有些内容没有紧抠最后一段所述的主题）