TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作 qing200 第九次作业

qing200UID: 2507993

In this technology highly developed era, many people can enjoy numerous inventions during their everyday lives. They can change TV channel with a remote-operated controller, travel with their own private car, shop online, cook food with micro-oven or electric boiler, even work at home with a computer. It the light of this condition, many people fear that the development of technology might lead to children become less creative than before.
Personally, however, I believe it is unnecessary for people to worry about it. As soon as I concerned, technology advancement make children more inventive instead of less creative.

Children develop their creative thinking when they contact with high-tech things. Children are accessible to a fair portion of high-tech things in current society such as all kinds of toys, electric appliances in family, which children show intensive curiosity and interest. The information I have collected over last few years leads me to believe that most of children would like to tear apart the toys such as cap gun, or some other things like a radio, and then they try to assemble it or make a little change to it. Undoubtedly this make children think a lot and promote their creative thinking ability.

The development of modern technology provides children a better fundamental to achieve new invention in the future. Some people might worry about there will be less things need children to create due to highly developed modern technology. However, people who in favor of this opinion fail to realize that advance technology actually provide children a higher stage to make invention. What happened to the invention of telegraph is a case in point. When the telegraph created, it paved a way for invention of telephone, then a way for mobile phone. Without the former invention as a preparation hardly can the latter one be created. Therefore, what left for modern children to do are to invent more sophisticated items.

Furthermore, high qualified education gives an excellent opportunity to children preparing for being creative in their future lives. Now education is available for almost every child, which put children a large step close to invention. It is true there are many cases in history show being creative does not necessarily being well educated such as Einstein who received little education. But as the advanced modern technology, people have to make more sophisticated inventions so knowledge just like wings to a person who wants to create something. And also high-tech facilities are one of the most important aspects of education. Thus, children will be more inventive than before.

In conclusion, Contrary to the point of many people is my heartfelt objection to the idea that children will be less creative due to advanced technology. If fact, technology can facilitate children to create more items in the future.

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

In this technology highly developed era（in this era of rapid technology）, many people can enjoy numerous inventions during their everyday lives. They can change TV channel with a remote-operated controller, travel with their own private car, shop online, cook food with micro-oven or electric boiler, even work at home with a computer. It the light of this condition(没看懂，想说啥), many people fear that the development of technology might lead to children become less creative than before.' K6 v+ g) x% I3 U& f; S" ~( R8 a$ C' v
Personally, however, I believe it is unnecessary for people to worry about it. As soon as I concerned, technology advancement make children more inventive instead of less creative(去掉 of less creative, 这两句重复，明显凑字数)
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Children develop their creative thinking when they contact with（access to）
high-tech things(tech-based product). Children are accessible to a fair portion of high-tech things in current society such as all kinds of toys, electric appliances in family, which children show intensive curiosity and interest. The information I have collected over last few years leads me to believe that most of children would like to tear apart the toys such as cap gun, or some other things like a radio, and then they try to assemble it or make a little change to it. Undoubtedly this make children think a lot and promote their creative thinking ability.(适量减少长句，短句一样会看起来很精彩)


The development of modern technology provides children a better fundamental to achieve new invention in the future. Some people might worry about there will be less things need children to create due to highly developed modern technology. However, people who in favor of this opinion fail to realize that advance technology actually provide children a higher stage to make invention. What happened to the invention of telegraph is a case in point. When the telegraph created, it paved a way for invention of telephone, then a way for mobile phone. Without the former invention as a preparation hardly can the latter one be created.（建议这个句子改成倒装Hardly can people……） Therefore, what left for modern children to do are to invent more sophisticated items.

Furthermore, high qualified education gives an excellent opportunity to children preparing for being creative in their future lives. Now education is available for almost every child, which put children a large step close to invention. It is true there are many cases in history show being creative does not necessarily being well educated such as Einstein who received little education. But as the advanced modern technology, people have to make more sophisticated inventions so knowledge just like wings to a person who wants to create something. And also high-tech facilities are one of the most important aspects of education. Thus, children will be more inventive than before.


In conclusion, Contrary to the point of many people is my heartfelt objection to the idea that children will be less creative due to advanced technology（最好断句）. If fact, technology can facilitate children to create more items in the future.

主体段落的三个论点选的不错
适量减少长句，短句一样会看起来很精彩

天聋地哑UID: 2594947

In this technology highly developed era, many people can enjoy numerous inventions during their everyday lives. They can change TV channel with a remote-operated controller, travel with their own private car, shop online, cook food with micro-oven or electric boiler, even work at home with a computer. （这个并列句很好，例子选得也不错哇。）It（in the light of） the light of this condition, many people fear that the development of technology might lead to children become less creative than before. （由例子后引出了问题，嗯，这个写法也不错。）

Personally, however, I believe it is unnecessary for people to worry about it. As soon as I concerned, technology advancement make children more inventive instead of less creative. （本段TS） Children develop their creative thinking when they contact with high-tech things. Children are accessible to a fair portion of high-tech things in current society such as all kinds of toys, electric appliances in family, which children show intensive curiosity and interest. The information I have collected over last few years leads me to believe that most of children would like to tear apart the toys such as cap gun, or some other things like a radio, and then they try to assemble it or make a little change to it. (这个句子写的相当不错！！！ 赞~~~) Undoubtedly this make children think a lot and promote their creative thinking ability.

The development of modern technology provides children a better fundamental（这里少个名词主体词） to achieve new invention in the future. Some people might worry about（that） there will be less things need(needed 这里注意语法规范) children to create due to highly developed modern technology. However, people who in favor of this opinion fail to realize that advance technology actually provide children a higher stage to make invention. What happened to the invention of telegraph is a case in point. When the telegraph created, it paved a way for invention of telephone, then a way for mobile phone. Without the former invention as a preparation（这个词用的有点牵强了。 可以用 foundation 或者groundwork ） hardly can the latter one be created. Therefore, what left for modern children to do are to invent more sophisticated items （这个是结论句、）.  x（） R+ o! j" ^3 [9 m5 U2 z0 I

Furthermore, high qualified education gives an excellent opportunity to children preparing for being creative in their future lives. Now education is available for almost every child, which put（s） children a large step close to invention. It is true (that) there are many cases in history (that or to) show being creative does not(？？？这是什么？谓语？？？ 后面也不对啊？？？) necessarily being well educated such as Einstein who received little education. （这个句子有严重的语病！！！）But as the advanced modern technology, people have to make more sophisticated inventions so knowledge just like wings to a person who wants to create something. And also high-tech facilities are one of the most important aspects of education. Thus, children will be more inventive than before.1 H  A4 N$ |: X" f0 ^
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In conclusion, Contrary to the point of many people is my heartfelt objection to the idea that children will be less creative due to advanced technology. If fact, technology can facilitate children to create more items in the future.


整体看下来还不错，楼主快考试了？？？ 加油！！！

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