[TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 tanyangbj的 第9次作业]

tanyangbjUID: 2601443

Nowadays, the technique has made our life more and more comfortable. By this way, we can travel around anyplace where you can have a happy vacation in one day, and that causes by the invention of the airplane. But, there is a controversial issue has loomed up the society’s attention, that is technology cause children show less creative than they were in past. On the other hand, some people do not maintain this idea as a principle. I do hold this statement, and I think the technology does not decrease the creativity of the children than they performed in the past.
The main reason I advocate the idea that the technology does not decrease the creativity of the children is because new technology will give a lot of chances to children to touch with the future advanced development of the society. What is more, each of the children has a curiosity that they wanna learn some skills in playing computers and surfing on the internet. That tells us a fact that children always like to obtain something which they do not known, and we should have a great influence on what can they touch with and what will they get, but not just ordering them in what should them do. In some extent, we impose some perspectives in our own eyes to our children. I always agree with a statement that cultivating our kids with some advanced techniques will help them to wide their horizons. History is replete with evidences for demonstrating the fact I stated above. It can be given a concrete example that: my friend, Chen, has a son named xiaomao. He knows every aspect of the computer, just like the CPU, memory, monitor, and something else. It proves a situation that our children have learned about much more knowledge than us in some area, and most of that is advance to their development in the future society.
Another essential factor that I believe the technology increase the ability to our kids is that they can solve the problems independently rather than under the helping of their parents. No one can deny that computer which is the most useful invention in 20 century has permeate in every aspect of our society, the office, school, even in the automobile have used that in a sophisticated extent. In that wave, our kids also have learned how to acquire the information from the high-tech computer rather than the past way to ask their father and mother. I have to say our kids become smart and independent. Let us moving to a statistic survey, 80.5% kids in modern society reach the true result in the internet by researching tool like Yahoo or Google. 75.4% kids solve the difficult problem by themselves in the help of using computer. That truly tell us a fact that our children have more and more independent than our thought.
Weighing for the cons of using high-tech in helping our kids looming, my idea can be concluded in a concise sentence, that is new technology will changing the mind of our kids and letting them contact the trend of society moving.

qing200UID: 2507993

1# tanyangbj

Nowadays, the technique has made our life more and more comfortable. By this way, we can travel around anyplace where you can have a happy vacation in one day, and that causes by the invention of the airplane. But, there is a controversial issue has loomed up the society’s attention, that is technology caused children show less creative than they were in past. On the other hand, some people do not maintain this idea as a principle. I do hold this statement, and I think the technology does not decrease the creativity of the children than they performed in the past." \- V# }% M9 K, a, p- j* F
The main reason I advocate the idea that the technology does not decrease the creativity of the children is (because 换that)new technology will give a lot of chances to children to touch with the future advanced development of the society(future 的怎么touch到？). What is more, each of the children has a curiosity that they wanna learn some skills in playing computers and surfing on the internet. That tells us a fact that children always like to obtain something which they do not known, and we should have a great influence on what can they touch with and what will they get, but not just ordering them in what should them do.（前面这句个主题意思不太符合，理解成了learning重要）In some extent, we impose some perspectives in our own eyes to our children. I always agree with a statement that cultivating our kids with some advanced techniques will help them to wide their horizons.（讲learning） History is replete with evidences for demonstrating the fact I stated above. It can be given a concrete example that: my friend, Chen, has a son named xiaomao. He knows every aspect of the computer, just like the CPU, memory, monitor, and something else. It proves a situation that our children have learned about much more knowledge than us in some area, and most of that is advance to their development in the future society.（这里应该直接点明让孩子更加creative。否则你这一段好像都在讲促进孩子的学习）
0 N1 y# n5 z4 @# ?& U/ ?2 h! w9 BAnother essential factor that I believe the technology increase the （+creative）ability to our kids is that they can solve the problems independently rather than under the helping of their parents. No one can deny that computer which is the most useful invention in 20 century has permeate in every aspect of our society, the office, school, even in the automobile have used that in a sophisticated extent. In that wave, our kids also have learned how to acquire the information from the high-tech computer rather than the past way to ask their father and mother.（和上一段似乎有重复） I have to say our kids become smart and independent. Let us moving to a statistic survey, 80.5% kids in modern society reach the true result in the internet by researching tool like Yahoo or Google. 75.4% kids solve the difficult problem by themselves in the help of using computer. That truly tell us a fact that our children have more and more independent than our thought.% A+ f( h2 n: e$ ?# T( d6 L$ s
Weighing for the cons of using high-tech in helping our kids looming, my idea can be concluded in a concise sentence, that is new technology will changing the mind of our kids and letting them contact the trend of society moving

语言结构都不错，
但是没有紧扣题目，我觉得文章中要多处点题，环环相扣，要不会有理解差异