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[未归类] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组winterscui的 第10次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-3-7 21:55:41 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 winterscui 于 2009-3-7 21:57 编辑

Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams


There are many discussions nowadays about whether governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. Those who favor the value of arts argue that government should grant more money in support of arts because it is important to promote the accomplishment of the citizens. Others object to the idea and claim that the development of athletics would come with many benefits, such as expressing the development of the power and spirits of a country and motivating citizens to take exercise. As far as I am concerned, I am inclined to side with the later opinion on the following ground.

First and foremost, a government, which invests more money in the athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams, could exhibit the development of the power and spirits of a country to the world. In the peace period we are living in, the international competition is changed into sports competition from war. Investing Olympic teams could get the opportunity to show the strength of a government to the world. And the performance of athletes could reveal the spirits of a country. Take the success of LiuXiang for an example. When he became the gold medalist in 2004, people all over the world changed the view to Chinese, even to Asia.

Moreover, if a government invests more money in the athletics such as building more sport facilities for the public, the citizens would certainly have more enthusiasm to take exercise and the health condition of the people in the country would be promoted. Only when the citizens are fairly healthy, the country will develop rapidly.

However, arts are also important for people to entertainment such as painting, music, and film. Many artists created numerous artworks which make our life colorful. But I stuck to the opinion that governments should spend more money in support of athletics because it is of greater importance to a country.

Based on the above argument, it is safe to draw the conclusion that governments should spend more money in support of athletics. There is little doubt that more benefits people will get if governments invest athletics and more and more people will come to realize that.

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发表于 2009-3-10 13:55:08 |显示全部楼层
There are many discussions nowadays about whether governments(是government吧)should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. Those who favor the value of arts argue that government should grant more money in support of arts because it is important to promote the accomplishment of the citizens(什么意思?提高市民的才艺教养?我不知道用accomplishment这个词恰不恰当). Others object to the idea and claim that the development of athletics would come with many benefits, such as expressing the development of the power and spirits of a country and motivating citizens to take exercise. As far as I am concerned, I am(去掉) inclined to side with the later opinion on the following ground.

First and foremost, a government, which invests more money in the athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams, could exhibit the development of the power and spirits of a country to the world(本句感觉表意不明确,could show the particular culture and the spirits of the nation to the world). In the peace period we are living in, the international competition is changed into sports competition from war. Investing Olympic teams could get the opportunity to show the strength of a government to the world. And the performance of athletes could reveal the spirits of a country. Take the success of LiuXiang for an example. When he became the gold medalist in 2004, people all over the world changed the view to Chinese, even to Asia.& c6 k) ]6 {2 q5 k* R(

Moreover, if a government invests more money in the athletics such as building more sport facilities for the public, the citizens would certainly have more enthusiasm to take exercise and the health condition of the people in the country would be promoted. Only when the citizens are fairly healthy, the country will develop rapidly.
M( M3 j1 n5 ^

However, arts are also important for people to entertainment such as painting, music, and film. Many artists created numerous artworks which make our life colorful. But I stuck to the opinion that governments should spend more money in support of athletics because supporting athletic is more foundermental in the development of a country,especially when the country have limited money that can not invested both.(本段的两句话之间没有逻辑联系,用but不太合适,应该改用逻辑上的递进关系表述观点)

Based on the above argument, it is safe to draw the conclusion that governments should spend more money in support of athletics. There is little doubt that more benefits people will get if governments invest athletics and more and more people will come to realize that.(改成这样是不是更好一点 there is little doubt that more prople will get the benifit and it is an wise investment in a long visal.)

希望改的这些能有帮助,不对的地方请见谅,互相学习。

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发表于 2009-3-11 17:03:31 |显示全部楼层
There are many discussions nowadays(nowadays放最前面是不是好些?) about whether governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics.(一定不要抄题目,这是我上XDF时老实说最忌讳的) Those who favor the value of arts argue that government should grant more money in support of arts because it is important to promote the accomplishment(成就???) of the citizens. (加个meanwhile好一点的)Others object to the idea and claim that the development of athletics would come with many benefits, such as expressing the development of the power and spirits of a country and motivating citizens to take exercise. As far as I am concerned, I am inclined to side with the later opinion on the following ground.
  Z& `5 V/ \; p
First and foremost, a government, which invests more money in the athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams, could exhibit(换成shows好一些,exhibit多是展览的意味) the development of the power and spirits of a country to the world. In the peace period (要不就是peace就可以了,不要period,要不是peaceful period)we are living in, the international competition is changed into sports competition from war. Investing Olympic teams could get the opportunity to show the strength of a government to the world. And the performance of athletes could reveal the spirits (用单数)of a country. Take the success of LiuXiang for an example. When he became the gold medalist in 2004, people all over the world changed the view to Chinese, even to Asia.
Moreover, if a government invests more money in the athletics such as building more sport facilities for the public, the citizens would certainly have more enthusiasm to take exercise and the health condition of the people in the country would be promoted. Only when the citizens are fairly healthy, the country will develop rapidly.
However, arts are also important for people to entertainment such as painting, music, and film. Many artists created numerous artworks which make our life colorful. But I stuck to the opinion that governments should spend more money in support of athletics because it is of greater importance to a country.

Based on the above argument, it is safe to draw the conclusion that governments should spend more money in support of athletics. There is little doubt that more benefits people will get if governments invest athletics and more and more people will come to realize that.


个人感觉这篇文章中government有时单数有时复数,最好统一一下比较好。。。呵呵,改的不好,多多包涵。。共同进步

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RE: 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组winterscui的 第10次作业】 [修改]

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