ARGUMENT242【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I 天天添添

天天添添UID: 2599433

终于憋出来了，用了整整一天。惨不忍睹，自己都不忍心看第二遍。

In thisletter, the editor begins by stating cheating was rising among college anduniversity student and the institutes adopted the Groveton's honor code’sto fight against cheating. The code request the studentsagree not to cheat and notify the faculty members when they see anybody who aresuspected to cheat. The tranditional teacher-monitering system was replaced bythe code system. Then the auther said the honor code was far more successful:the reported cheating case droped from average thirty cases per year tofourteen cases per year during the five years the new system was adopted.

Itis very easy to understand why this syetem works so well. In the old fansionedsystem, students are monitered by teachers, who could carelessly ignore somecases of cheating. After adopting the new system, students are monitered by theother students. And there are so many of them. Unless the is a profissional,hewill be discovered just as he is doing that. The cheat case decreased aboutfifty percent during the last five years. And the student state they lesslikely to cheat after adopting the system. It looks like the system works well.But the designer ignore something that is important: stop cheating is noteverything.

Aman of honor is more than a non-cheater. During the process of the new system,the student who discover the somebody that is suspected to cheat has to notifythe teacher. Under such case, the student acted as if he is a snitch. A snitchwill be a man of honor? People despice a cheater, and a snitch shouldn’t bedespiced? Sometiems a snitch is regard as traitor. How can I trust atraitor?Some times, the snitch could be a cheater and the “cheater” is thehonest man. If both of the snitch and the “cheater” satate that they don’tcheat and the cheater is the othor man, and no other people see clearly whatreally happens, how can we judge who is guilty and who is innocent? Using CCTV,and a notice is writien:”This classroom is cameraed by CCTV”. If this must bedone, I would rather prefer the old-fansioned, teacher monitering system. Anextreme example of this syetem is the Cultural Revolution, during whichbillions of Chinese people suffered. The biggest problem of this system is toinform the falcuty, the arbiter and tyrant, probably.

Whatabout don’t inform the faculty and let the student do this completely? Maybethis is a better solution.A council could be constructed by the students througha democratic process and it is authorized to judge who is right and who iswrong. But this is so complicated. More important, this is not the originalsystem. Overall, honor code maybe a good way to sovle the cheat problem, butthere are many other problems arise when this system is adopted.

joyceww88UID: 2599492

In this
letter, the editor begins by stating cheating was rising among college and
university student and the institutes adopted the
Groveton's honor code’s
to fight against
cheating. The code request the students
agree not to cheat and notify the faculty members when they see anybody who are
suspected to cheat. The tranditional teacher-monitering system was replaced by
the code system. Then the auther said the honor code was far more successful:the reported cheating case droped from average thirty cases per year to
fourteen cases per year during the five years the new system was adopted.

It
is very easy to understand why this syetem works so well. In the old fansioned（这个，不知道作者要用哪个词来着）
system, students are monitered by teachers, who could carelessly ignore some
cases of cheating. After adopting the new system, students are monitered by the（我觉得这里不用the）
other students. And there are so many of them. Unless the is a profissional（什么意思）,he
will be discovered just as he is doing that. The cheat case decreased about
fifty percent during the last five years. And the student state they less
likely to cheat after adopting the system. (个人感觉是不是不应该用这么大段说明这个方法的好)It looks like the system works well.But the designer ignore（ignores） something that is important: stop cheating is not
everything.（stop cheating不一定就是honor这一点我还确实没想过，由于新方法叫honor code,我想大概这是作者提出这一点的原因吧，这是不是一个攻击点我也想不清楚呃）

A
man of honor is more than a non-cheater. During the process of the new system,the student who discover the（这里也不应该用the） somebody that is suspected to cheat has to notify
the teacher. Under such case, the student acted as if he is a snitch. A snitch
will be a man of honor? People despice a cheater, and a snitch shouldn’t be
despiced（despised）? Sometiems a snitch is regard as （a）traitor. How can I trust a
traitor?Some times, the snitch could be a cheater and the “cheater” is the
honest man. (感觉这句话说的没根据啊)If both of the snitch and the “cheater” satate that they don’t
cheat and the cheater is the othor（这个单词？） man, and no other people see clearly what
really happens, how can we judge who is guilty and who is innocent? Using CCTV,and a notice is writien:”This classroom is cameraed by CCTV”. If this must be
done, I would rather prefer the old-fansioned, teacher monitering system. An
extreme example of this syetem is the Cultural Revolution, during which
billions of Chinese people suffered. The biggest problem of this system is to
inform the falcuty, the arbiter and tyrant（这个单词在红宝是暴君的意思，可以这么用么？）, probably.（第一个例子没看懂，第二个例子是指的文字狱么？如果是的话，我还是觉得不好。因为我想ETS的考官不见得研究过中国历史啊，如果不是当我没说。但如果不是，也不合适，没对例子做任何说明，起码我作为一个reader，就没明白第一个例子是说的什么。就像即使举爱因斯坦，也得说明是个伟大的物理学家一样，不能想当然以为这是人人都知道的。这是我看别人帖子的一点想法，不知道对不对）

What
about don’t inform the faculty and let the student do this completely? Maybe
this is a better solution.A council could be constructed by the students through
a democratic process and it is authorized to judge who is right and who is
wrong. But this is so complicated. More important, this is not the original
system.（这句要说什么？） Overall, honor code maybe a good way to sovle the cheat problem, but
there are many other problems arise when this system is adopted.
开头没看，因为感觉差不多是引用。也不记得草木斑斑说的格式，就大概这么样了吧。至于没蓝色，不是说作者写得不好，是我水平实在有限，无法判定，所以我改的文都不会有蓝的的，别介意啊。
只改了少量几个一看就有问题的低级单词错误，其他的嘛，因为我本身太烂，不大敢改也看不太出来。除了这些，其他的红笔是我的个人看法，不是作者的错误啊，别误会
因为作者个整个思路和指出的错误与我的完全不同，所以也只指出了我觉得不妥的地方，并没有进行修正
尽管我看得argument少之又少，可能就2，3篇的样子。但是可以很明显的感觉到作者的写作结构，思路与方法完全不同于我看到的。感觉我看到的都比较模板化，不过也因为模板化，我觉得逻辑更清晰一些。相对的，作者的文有自己的风格，让人有不一样的感觉，不知道作者这样好不好，个人感觉攻击不太充分，没有或少指出了真正的错误。当然，也有另一种可能，我觉得该攻击的地方都是草木斑斑说的下三路的攻击，也可能是我的整个逻辑有问题，因此才觉得作者这篇攻击不到位。至于是哪些问题，说实话，我也刚开始，并不清楚，只是有种攻击不到位的感觉。
我也是新手，随便发表些看法，而且作者是我改的第一篇，如果太扯了也请见谅啊

joyceww88UID: 2599492

不知道为什么我发上来之后，格式变得这么恶心，我也调不回去了，不好意思啊

seiranzcc1UID: 2514067

In thisletter, the editor begins by stating cheating was rising among college anduniversity student and the institutes adopted the Groveton's honor code’sto fight against cheating. The code request the studentsagree not to cheat and notify the faculty members when they see anybody who aresuspected to cheat. The tranditional teacher-monitering system was replaced bythe code system. Then the auther said the honor code was far more successful:the reported cheating case droped from average thirty cases per year tofourteen cases per year during the five years the new system was adopted.开头可以更简洁直接一点
It is very easy to understand why this syetem works so well. In the old fansionedsystem, students are monitered by teachers, who could carelessly ignore some cases of cheating. After adopting the new system, students are monitered by the other students. And there are so many of them. Unless the is a profissional（没表达清楚）,he will be discovered just as he is doing that. The cheat case decreased about fifty percent during the last five years. And the student state they lesslikely to cheat after adopting the system. It looks like the system works well.But the designer ignore something that is important: stoping cheating is not everything.如果用来发起观点，那么有点冗长了，感觉前面的阐述太多，全文的意义不大

A man of honor is more than a non-cheater. During the process of the new system,the student who discover the somebody that is suspected to cheat has to notifythe teacher. Under such case, the student acted as if he is a snitch. A snitch will be a man of honor? People despice a cheater, and a snitch shouldn’t be despiced? Sometiems a snitch is regarded as traitor. How can I trust a traitor?Some times, the snitch could be a cheater and the “cheater” is the honest man. If both of the snitch and the “cheater” satate that they don’tcheat and the cheater is the othor man, and no other people see clearly whatreally happens, how can we judge who is guilty and who is innocent? Using CCTV,and a notice is writien:”This classroom is cameraed by CCTV”. If this must be done, I would rather prefer the old-fansioned, teacher monitering system. An extreme example of this syetem is the Cultural Revolution, during whichbillions of Chinese people suffered. The biggest problem of this system is toinform the falcuty, the arbiter and tyrant, probably.我觉得举例是很好的辩驳方法，但是说理并不是太清楚，让人看得有点昏
What about don’t inform the faculty and let the student do this completely? Maybe this is a better solution.A council could be constructed by the students through a democratic process and it is authorized to judge who is right and who I swrong. But this is so complicated. More important, this is not the original system. Overall, honor code maybe a good way to sovle the cheat problem, but there are many other problems arise when this system is adopted.提出会有问题出现，但是没举例说是什么问题，就感觉有些空洞了。[/color]
觉得有一些逻辑问题没有挖掘。。。
用词有些地方不是很清楚。
中间用了实例，我觉得实例是辩驳的好方法
还有拼写空格之类的小细节，我觉得平时注意可以在考场上更有信心（反正我是这样觉得）
水平很有限，觉得我改的对作者不是很有帮助，我对与分析攻击点也很陌生，所以没怎么指出来，只说了些主观的感觉。。。

天天添添UID: 2599433

楼上几位，谢谢了。这几天有点事情，没来得及看。明天好好看看