Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组第十一次作业

grace.TTUID: 2534695

In our whole lives,thousands of decisions to solve questions around anyone’s mind were made by ourselves.Most of those are so big that will have significant or lasting impacts on our lives.Oftentimes such decisions are difficult to make because the consequences are considerable or because the decision's circumstances and implications are complex.From my personal angle alone,seeking advice is helpful because it helps to avoid pitfalls and precludes carelessness,but in the end the person never fail to make a decision by his/her own thinking.

To begin with,people will consult friends and family for their opinions to get a better understanding of the situation of problems before he/she is trying to solve the problem.Taking myself as a example,one of my most important problems that I had to face was to choose to be an English major when I was about to take the college entrance exam in senior high school.It was a tough time for me to decide.In order to make sure I was doing it right,I consulted almost everyone I knew such as parents,siblings,teachers,friends and even my neighbors.They provided a number of information they knew about English major to me so that I learnt more about it such as the situation of the major in unversities,my personal predominance etc.From talking with them,I knew that English major is a popular one which even become more and more popular in our country.The world are at the edge of globalization and English serves as one of the most useful languages in the society.Also,I realized that studying English is very my interest and it is the first consideration for me so as to get further performance in this field.And now,I am getting more and more intersted in it so I feel that the decision is rewarding.From the above example myself,I can say without exaggeration that seeking advices from others would set the course for one’s future life.

Moreover,discussing solutions with others can be beneficial,especially if the person one is conferring with has experience with the problem at hand.We all would agree that the best lesson learned is from a mistake,but why even let that happen?For example,in order to decide between continuing one's education after finishing four years of university studies and finding a job,it is helpful to talk to people who have encountered such kind of dilemma and managed to solve the problem.A person who decided to find gainful employment will probably give different advice than a person who decided to stay in school.Listening attentively to both will allow a person to make the best assessment of his/her own situation as he/she will be able to learn from other's experiences.

However,one should not allow or even ask others to solve problems on one’s behalf.After all,he/she will be the one with all the information,especially after seeking advice from others. Eventually,the person who has to live with the decision should take complete responsibility and make it himself/herself.

jackie1983UID: 2484456

1# grace.TT
In our whole lives,thousands of decisions to solve questions around anyone’s mind were made by ourselves.Most of those are so big that（加个they，so…that..句型中，that后面从句的主语可以省吗？） will have significant or lasting impacts on our lives. Oftentimes such
decisions are difficult to make because the consequences are considerable or because the decision's circumstances and implications are complex.From my personal angle alone,seeking advice is helpful because it helps to avoid pitfalls and precludes carelessness,but in the end the person never fail to make a decision by his/her own thinking.
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/ r, _) l" }( M, u9 b4 CTo begin with,people will consult friends and family for their opinions to get a better understanding of the situation of problems before he/she is trying to solve the problem.Taking myself as a(an) example,one of my most important problems that I had to face was to choose to be an English major when I was about to take the college entrance exam in senior high school.It was a tough time for me to decide.In order to make sure I was doing it right,I consulted almost everyone I knew such as parents,siblings,teachers,friends and even my neighbors.They provided a number of information they knew about English major to me so that I learnt more about it such as the situation of the major in unversities,my personal predominance etc.From talking with them,I knew that English major is a popular one which even become more and more popular in our country.The world are at the edge of globalization and English serves as one of the most useful languages in the society.Also,I realized that studying English is very my interest and it is the first consideration for me so as to get further performance in this field.And now,I am getting more and more intersted（interested） in it so I feel that the decision is rewarding.From the above example myself,I can say without exaggeration that seeking advices from others would set the course for one’s future life.(单就本段来说，论述充分，主题句应该是last sentence: set the course for one’s future life. 但文章第一段说了应该咨询别人的两个原因，1.avoiod pitfalls，本段却没提pitfalls的问题，文章第一段如果和后面的论述相对应是不是更好一些?) |8 U" b

- k' [& }; h( z, i, OMoreover,discussing solutions with others can be beneficial,especially if the person one is conferring with has experience with the problem at hand.We all would agree that the best lesson learned is from a mistake,but why even let that happen? For example, in order to decide between continuing one's education after finishing four years of university studies and finding a job,it is helpful to talk to people who have encountered such kind of dilemma and managed to solve the problem.A person who decided to find gainful employment will probably give different advice than a person who decided to stay in school.Listening attentively to both will allow a person to make the best assessment of his/her own situation as he/she will be able to learn from other's experiences.(同样的情况，首段的用来支持论点的第二个原因是precludes carelessness，而本段却没提carelessness，首段如果能总领全文，是不是更好一些)

& \# o# h6 y" k9 G! ~' XHowever, one should not allow or even ask others to solve problems on one’s behalf. After all, he/she will be the one with all the information,especially after seeking advice from others. Eventually, the person who has to live with the decision should take complete responsibility and make it himself/herself.

Hi，Gracie
1总体来看，我觉得你的前3段，每段论述的都不错，可是连起来的话，感觉不是很对应。
2另外，第二段和第三段我觉得是不是可以合并为一段，感觉两段都是在说综合别人的意见可以更好的帮自己做出选择， 第二段举了选专业的例子，第三段举了选工作or继续上学的例子。 最好能再写段询问别人带来的别的好处作为另一个分论点。
3又看了一遍文章，如果你全文强调的是首段but 后面的（即自己思考的重要性的话，包括结尾however后的也是在强调自己做最后决定的重要性），可你的第二，三段却是在着重论述别人意见的重要性，重心似乎有点偏。 对于一个转折句来说，如but，however后面的东西，才是作者想要表达，论述的部分
4 另外标点符号后面加个空格，word可以纠错（包括拼写，语法，格式），可以写完后放进去看一下
5 看得出，作者驾驭长句，应用排比，替换词汇，尤其是对分论点展开论述的能力等都值得我学习 ！
6 说的可能直接了点，我其实希望别人也能这么拍我的，有说的不对的地方，欢迎交流，指正！
Jackie

ericsong1125UID: 2493162

In our whole lives, thousands of decisions to solve questions around anyone’s mind were made by ourselves（这不应该用物主代词吧，用
us）. Most of those are so big（这个用的不地道，是大问题可以说serious或者crucial） that will have significant or lasting impacts on our lives. Oftentimes such decisions are difficult to make because the consequences are considerable or because（可以不用再写一遍） the decision's circumstances and implications are complex. From my personal angle alone, seeking advice is helpful（后面有个help，这个adj可以考虑换下，比如useful或者advisable） because it helps to avoid pitfalls and precludes carelessness, but in the end the person never fail to make a decision by his/her own thinking.

To begin with, people will consult friends and family for their opinions to get a better understanding of the situation of problems before he/she is trying to solve the problem. Taking myself as a（an） example, one of my most important problems （表达略显生硬）that I had to face was to choose to be an English major when I was about to take the college entrance exam in senior high school. It was a tough time for me to decide. In order to make sure I was doing it right, I consulted almost everyone I knew such as parents, siblings, teachers, friends and even my neighbors. They provided a number of information they knew about English major to me so that I learnt more about it such as the situation of the major in unversities（拼写错误，粗心了）, my personal predominance etc（老师说这个东西作文少用, so forth啦）. From talking with them, I knew that English major is a popular one which even become（s） more and more popular（连着用了两个） in our country. The world are（is）at the edge of globalization and English serves as one of the most useful languages in the society. Also, I realized that studying English is very（这个用的容易起歧义，说实话第一遍没读懂，LZ可以用absolute强调一下） my interest and it is the first consideration for me so as to get further performance in this field. And now, I am getting more and more intersted（拼写错误，粗心了） in it so I feel that the decision is rewarding. From the above example myself, I can say without exaggeration that seeking advices from others would set the course for one’s future life.

Moreover, discussing solutions with others can be beneficial, especially if the person one is conferring with has experience with the problem at hand. We all would agree that the best lesson learned is from a mistake, but why even let that happen? For example, in order to decide between continuing one's education after finishing four years of university studies and finding a job, it is helpful to talk to people who have encountered such kind of dilemma and managed to solve the problem. A person who decided to find gainful employment will probably give different advice than a person who decided to stay in school. Listening attentively to both will allow a person to make the best assessment of his/her own situation as he/she will be able to learn from other's experiences.

However, one should not allow or even ask others to solve problems on one’s behalf. After all, he/she will be the one with all the information, especially after seeking advice from others. Eventually, the person who has to live with the decision should take complete responsibility and make it himself/herself.

总得来说，结构清晰，论证有力，分析到位，长句用的充分。但是措辞上不够考究，内容感觉还欠点。
1.结构上没什么问题，就是主题句与分论点呼应不够
2.论据略显单薄，叙述有点啰嗦，可以精简一下，然后加点道理论证就更好了
3.词汇方面显得不太讲究，同一表述或者词语重复出现较多
4.两个论点之间似乎有重叠，对主旨的支持不够有力

拍的不好，还请原谅