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[活动] [TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 水龙娃娃的 第十二次作业] [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-3-14 11:00:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
With the rapid pace of education revolution in many countries, there is no consensus among people that whether teachers should assign homework for students’ everyday. From my perspective, it is not reasonable for students to have daily homework for the following reasons.

First of all, it is not an effective way to have students had homework everyday. Teachers assign homework with the primary purpose of making students review the knowledge which is learned in daytime while homework does not work well and is not efficient for its aim in modern times. We could imagine that students have learned some animals in science class such as kangaroo or grizzly bear. No manner of means is better than to go to the zoo and observe it rather than merely to review some knowledge about those animals through completing homework. What's more, there is a possibility that students could find other ways to finish their ponderous homework such as duplicating other’s and lying to their teachers or instructors which has adverse effect on students.


In addition, students really have so much other things such as making more friends, having sports, enjoying what they are interest in and so forth, which have tremendous influence on them in the future. For instance, my brother prefers all kinds of sports, especially playing basketball. Since he was in primary school, he insisted to practice it almost everyday and now he has already had a job and grew up into adulthood. Thanks to persisting on playing basketball, he is in a best physical condition, has no ill around a year, recover from a tired work with an ease and is always full of energy and enthusiasm to his work and life. Moreover, an increasing number of people have an interest in computing so that they could spend their time on learning information relating to computer rather than to do those homework.

Admittedly, I must concede that everyday homework also has some advantages such as make students more familiar with knowledge while we could not choose to demand students do daily assignment when considering all the drawbacks it brings to us students. Meanwhile, the benefits of daily homework is virtually weak compared with those of doing other helpful things.

Consequently, daily homework is a waste of time for its inutility and inefficiency. Accodingly, it is better to do other things which are more beneficial to the students’ future lsuch as enjoy what they are fond of instead of doing everyday homework for we could have many merits.
没有翅膀,我们依旧可以飞上天空
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沙发
发表于 2009-3-15 21:49:23 |只看该作者
With the rapid pace of education revolution in many countries, there is no consensus among people that whether teachers should assign homework for students’ everyday. From my perspective, it is not reasonable for students to have daily homework for the following reasons.
First of all, it is not an effective way to have students had homework everyday(句意有些不明确 或者可以改成 it is not effective to……). Teachers assign homework with the primary purpose of making students review the knowledge which is learned in daytime while homework does not work well and is not efficient for its aim in modern times. We could imagine that students have learned some animals in science class such as kangaroo or grizzly bear. No manner of means is better than to go (going)to the zoo and observe it rather than merely to review reviewingsome knowledge about those animals through completing homework. What's more, there is a possibility that students could find other ways to finish their ponderous homework such as duplicating other’s(others') and lying to their teachers or instructors which has adverse effect on students.

In addition, students really have so much other things (much things???)such as making more friends, having sports, enjoying what they are interest(interested) in and so forth, (all of which会不会好一点)which have tremendous influence on them in the future. For instance, my brother prefers all kinds of sports, especially playing basketball. Since he was in primary school, he insisted to practice (insisted on practicing)it almost everyday and now he has already had a job and grew up into adulthood. Thanks to persisting on playing basketball, he is in a(a不用 删去) best physical condition, has no ill around a year, recover from a tired work with an ease and is always full of energy and enthusiasm to his work and life. Moreover, an increasing number of people have an interest in computing so that they could spend their time on learning information relating to computer rather than to do those homework. "
Admittedly, I must concede (意思有些重复)that everyday homework also has some advantages such as make(making) students more familiar with knowledge while we could not choose to demand students do daily assignment when considering all the drawbacks it brings to us students. Meanwhile, the benefits of daily homework is virtually weak compared with those of doing other helpful things

Consequently, daily homework is a waste of time for its inutility and inefficiency. Accodingly, it is better to do other things which are more beneficial to the students’ future lsuch as enjoy(enjoying) what they are fond of instead of doing everyday homework for we could have many merits. 这部分修饰什么不是很明显 容易引起歧义

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板凳
发表于 2009-3-15 21:52:56 |只看该作者
希望你能满意啊~我尽力改了~~~~~PS 我在90#

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地板
发表于 2009-3-16 17:49:22 |只看该作者
1# 水龙娃娃
With the rapid pace of education revolution in many countries, there is no consensus among people that whether teachers should assign homework for students’ everyday. From my perspective, it is not reasonable for students to have daily homework for the following reasons.

First of all, it is not an effective way to have students had homework everyday(两个have有些重复,可以改为it is not an effective way to assign homework to students every day). Teachers assign homework with the primary purpose of making students review the knowledge which is learned in daytime while homework does not work well and is not efficient for its aim in modern times. We could imagine that students have learned some animals in science class such as kangaroo or grizzly bear. No manner of means is better than to go to the zoo and observe it rather than(前面有了better than,这里又出现了rather than是什么意思?这里看不懂) merely to review some knowledge about those animals through completing homework. What's more, there is a possibility that students could find other ways to finish their ponderous homework such as duplicating other’s other’s workand lying to their teachers or instructors which has adverse effect on students.


In addition, students really have so much (many)other things such as making more friends, having sports, enjoying what they are interest in and so forth, which have tremendous influence on them in the future(也可直接写成their future). For instance, my brother prefers all kinds of sports, especially playing basketball. Since he was in primary school, he insisted to practice it almost everyday and now he has already had a job and grew up into adulthood. Thanks to persisting on playing basketball, he is in a(the) best physical condition, has no ill around a year, recover(recovers) from a tired work with an ease and (he) is always full of energy and enthusiasm to his work and life. Moreover, an increasing number of people have an interest in (are interested in) computing (using computer) so that they could spend their time on learning information relating(related) to computer rather than to(去掉) do those(their) homework. .


Admittedly, I must concede that everyday
(everyday’s) homework also has some advantages such as make(making) students more familiar with knowledge while we could(should) not choose to demand students do daily assignment when considering all the drawbacks it brings to us(
去掉) students. Meanwhile, the benefits of (doing) daily homework is virtually weak compared with those of doing other helpful things.

Consequently, daily homework is a waste of time for its inutility and inefficiency. Accodingly(Accordingly), it is better to do other things which are more beneficial to the students’ future lsuch(such) as enjoy(enjoying) what they are fond of instead of doing everyday(everyday’s)
homework for we could have many merits.


呵呵,你这次用了21的形式呀,写的不错,逻辑很清晰,长句也很多,如果能再减少一点语法错误就更好了~加油!

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RE: [TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 水龙娃娃的 第十二次作业] [修改]

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[TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 水龙娃娃的 第十二次作业]
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