寄托天下
查看: 1166|回复: 2
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[活动] Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 bheric的第二十一次作业 [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
239
注册时间
2009-3-2
精华
0
帖子
3
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2009-4-15 22:05:39 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 bheric 于 2009-4-15 22:22 编辑

TOPIC:Is it better to spend money on something that lasts long time, such as an expensive piece of jewelry, or spend on something that provides a short-term pleasure, such as a vacation?

Which do you preferspending money on something that last long time or that provides a short-term pleasure? Some people are convinced that it is more meaningful to spend money on the thing that last long time than that provides a short-term pleasure. However others who held different ideas say that, comparing to the long time happiness, short-term pleasures are like a bar of sweet chocolate which sheer you up immediately .In my opinion, I believe the long-term pleasure is more valuable for us.

Fist of all, something which has long-term pleasures mostly are regarded as a diamond of memory .Just like the couple of books my father bought to me has a essential meaning and pleasure for me. One day, i astonished found there were few books on my table, putting on my knees and watching carefully piece by piece. It was so amusing that my every pore absorbed the stories in the books. theses books give me pleasures which are different from the pleasure of
playing toy, tasting chocolate ,or even having a vocation .Though many years has passed ,when i turned on the books all the happiness and memories of the first time that i watched the books come to my mind.

Also, to some degrees, something that last long-term pleasure is sort of emotion delivered .Have you seen in the movies that on the night before the girl marry her future husband. the mother will give her daughter a precious diamond ring and says" that the ring stems from her grand-grand mother and it will give the host of the ring luck and sweet life". Maybe the same conversation like above happens every day in the world and it is fact that the long-term pleasure of a ring has more meaning than the ring itself, since there are emotion and best wishes in it.

Of course, sometimes we need the short-term pleasures, such as having a bar of chocolate, wathcing entertainment movies, or tasting a large ice ream. Short-term pleasures are sweet in our life, which can raise our normal life up .The entertainment movies can release your pressure of works. Also the ice cream and chocolate are regarded as the most valuable things by children. So, the short-term pleasures are special pills which recover your self from bad conditions.

Although, there is a advantage about the shot-term pleasures, I am convinced that long-term pleasure are valuable for us to spend money on ,since we can recall the meaningful memory and the things which is emotional .all in all ,it is
better to spend money on something that lasts long time than that provides a short-term pleasure .

0 0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
112
注册时间
2009-3-29
精华
0
帖子
1
沙发
发表于 2009-4-18 12:21:21 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 答案就在眼前 于 2009-4-18 12:22 编辑

Which do you preferspending money on something that lasts long time or that provides a short-term pleasure? Some people are convinced that it is more meaningful to spend money on the thing that lasts long time than that provides a short-term pleasure. However, others who hold different ideas say that, comparing to the long time happiness, short-term pleasures are like a bar of sweet chocolate which sheer you up immediately .In my opinion, I believe the long-term pleasure is more valuable for us.

Fist of all, something which has long-term pleasures mostly are regarded as a diamond of memory .Just like the couple of books my father bought to me has an essential meaning and pleasure for me. One day, I astonished found (at finding) there were a few books on my table, (.) putting (I put one of them) on my knees and watching (read) carefully piece by piece. It was so amusing that my every pore absorbed the stories in the books. Theses books give me pleasures which are different from the pleasure of"
playing toy, tasting chocolate ,or even having a vocation .Though many years has passed ,when i turned on the books all the happiness and memories of the first time that i watched the books come to my mind.


Also, to some degreesdegree, something that lasts long-term pleasure is sort of emotion delivered .Have you ever seen in the movies that at the night before the girl marry her future husband? The mother will gives her daughter a precious diamond ring and says" that the ring stems from her grand-grand mother and it will give the host of the ring luck and sweet life". Maybe the same conversation like above happens every day in the world and it is fact that the long-term pleasure of a ring has more meaning than the ring itself, since there are emotion and best wishes in it.
; T1 I4 o9 L* L, X" n: [


Of course, sometimes we need the short-term pleasures, such as having a bar of chocolate, watching entertainment movies, or tasting a large ice ream. Short-term pleasures are sweet in our life, which can raise our normal life up .The entertainment movies can release your pressure of works. Also the ice cream and chocolate are regarded as the most valuable things by children. So, the short-term pleasures are special pills which recover your self from bad conditions.

Although, there is a
n advantage about the short-term pleasures, I am convinced that long-term pleasure are valuable for us to spend money on, since we can recall the meaningful memory and the things which is emotional .All in all ,it is#
better to spend money on something that lasts long time than that provides a short-term pleasure . , T* \- F7 r5 a' p6 M# k


两个问题:
主语第三人称单数时,谓语动词不时缺失“s
句首字母都注意大写

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
4
寄托币
364
注册时间
2009-1-25
精华
0
帖子
3

备考先锋

板凳
发表于 2009-4-18 21:21:58 |只看该作者
复习一下人称和数,你的名词单数和人称代词后动词的数有问题。还会犯比较简单的语法错误,建议先补一下语法
Which do you preferspending money on something that last long time or that provides a short-term pleasure? Some people are convinced that it is more meaningful to spend money on the thing that last long time than that provides a short-term pleasure. However others who held different ideas say that, comparing to the long time happiness, short-term pleasures are like a bar of sweet chocolate which sheercheers) you up immediately .In my opinion, I believe the long-term pleasure is more valuable for us.
* U6 v  v+ d% w4 y- j$ U# a
Fist of all, something which has long-term pleasures mostly are regarded as a diamond of memory .Just like the couple of books my father bought to)去掉 me has a essential meaning and pleasure for me. One day, i (差BE动词)astonished found there were few books on my table,改成两个句子,用连词连接,你这样写读起来很不舒putting on my knees and watching carefully piece by piece. It was so amusing that my every pore 差BE动词absorbed the stories in the books. theses books give me pleasures which are different from the pleasure of$ d$ \1 A8 t+ @5 J; c! c
playing toy, tasting chocolate ,or even having a vocation .Though many years has passed ,when i turned on the books all the happiness and memories of the first time that(when) i watched the books 没有这种说法come to my mind. $ g  Q" D" j6 L7 E2 P" o! v

Also, to some degrees去掉s, something that last long-term pleasure is sort of emotion delivered (明显逻辑错误,抽出句子主干成了something is a sort of emotion.)Have you seen in the movies that on the night before the girl marry her future husband. the mother will give her daughter a precious diamond ring and says" that the ring (stems from这个词用这里不恰当改was a heritage from) her grand-grand mother and (that) it will give the host of the ring luck and sweet life".有点生活常识错误吧,家传宝最好不要写钻戒,这一般是夫妻双方的赠 Maybe the same conversation like above happens every day in the world and it is fact that the long-term pleasure of a ring has more meaning than the ring itself, since there are emotion and best wishes in it.


Of course, sometimes we need the short-term pleasures, such as having a bar of chocolate, wathcing entertainment movies, or tasting a large ice ream. Short-term pleasures are sweet in our life, which can raise our normal life up中式表达 .The entertainment movies can release your pressure of works. Also the ice cream and chocolate are regarded as the most valuable things by children. So, the short-term pleasures are special pills which recover your self from bad conditions.: ^' y  _7 V' B: \

Although, there is a advantage about the shot-term pleasures, I am convinced that long-term pleasure are valuable for us to spend money on ,since we can recall the meaningful memory and the things which is emotional 这么表达的,而且两个一样的词,就是形式不一样.all in all ,it is
better to spend money on something that lasts long time than that provides a short-term pleasure .

托福 双学位 实习 专业课 I can survive and thrive!

使用道具 举报

RE: Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 bheric的第二十一次作业 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 bheric的第二十一次作业
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-942423-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部