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[活动] TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 网兜妮妮第二十二次作业 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2009-4-17 23:41:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Life is busy in today's world because we can hardly manage two things at the same time. But with the great changes in almost every subject, we should have faced this problem. As time goes by, when I accustomed with the dazzling world, I finally find that it is more effective to dealing with two things at the same time than finish one thing and then start other. So, as far as I can concern, I disagree with the topic in three ways.
Primarily, sometimes when we say we could not manage two things simultaneously, the fact, which we must pay attention, is not we unable to do this, but we do not trust ourselves and loose confidence and failed. As what we have learned in school, the teacher always told us we must concentrate on a thing we are doing to approach success, and we should finish things one by one with hard work. It is true in someway, but it fails in some situations. In today's world, we meet more problems than in the past. We act as many roles in our society, as student, as volunteer, as schoolmate and as researcher when we in a project, how can we avoid these things and follow the traditional rule saying to finish things one by one? The answer is NO. And how to deal with this situation? We should trust ourselves that we have the inner power to face two or more things at the same time. Once there is a will, there is a way, it is possible to do all the things well.
Secondly, when we doing a thing within an hour, it is interesting, but if it lasting 10 hours, it is boring. But things is different when there are two things at hand, like studying English and drawing pictures, I can do one for two hours and change to the other, the different regions used in the brain can make me relax and I will get a better results in both.
Thirdly, doing two things at the same time may give me sparks in each other, which is helpful in finding new way to develop any issue. For example, doing my subject in law is sometimes meet obstacles, but studying in Communication theory at the same time offers me a new way to think of law case, which is really worthy.
To sum up, as what I show above, doing two things at the same time have more merits, I do think it is better to believe in ourselves and try our best to dealing with two or more things in the modern life than finish things one by one.
清空~~明媚吧~~~
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沙发
发表于 2009-4-20 00:56:56 |只看该作者
Life is busy in today's world because we can hardly manage two things at the same time. But with the great changes in almost every subject, we should have faced this problem. As time goes by,(可以删去) when I accustomed with the dazzling world ( 不错的短语), I finally find that it is more effective to dealing with two things at the same time than finish one thing and then start other. So, as far as I can concern, I disagree with the topic in three ways ( 最好不这样写) |& r0 j. `; q' S

Primarily, sometimes when we say we could not manage two things simultaneously, the fact, which we must pay attention, is not we unable to do this, but we do not trust ourselves and loose confidence and failed.(开头指明论点) As what we have learned in school, the teacher always told us we must concentrate on a thing we are doing to approach success, and we should finish things one by one with hard work. It is true in someway, but it fails in some situations. In today's world, we meet more problems than in the past. We act as many roles in our society, as student, as volunteer, as schoolmate and as researcher when we in a project, how can we avoid these things and follow the traditional rule saying to finish things one by one? The answer is NO. And how to deal with this situation? We should trust ourselves that we have the inner power to face two or more things  at the same time. Once there is a will, there is a way, it is possible to do all the things well.6 A6 h4 c* u0

[4 G" f) \
Secondly, when we doing a thing within an hour, it is interesting, but if it lasting 10 hours, it is boring.( 开头应立刻指出论点) But things is different when there are two things at hand, like studying English and drawing pictures, I can do one for two hours and change to the other, the different regions used in the brain can make me relax and I will get a better results in both.( 这段展开有点少 )



Thirdly, doing two things at the same time may give me sparks in each other, which is helpful in finding new way to develop any issue. For example, doing my subject in law is sometimes meet obstacles, but studying in Communication theory at the same time offers me a new way to think of law case, which is really worthy(问题同上)

To sum up, as what I show above, doing two things at the same time have more merits, I do think it is better to believe in ourselves and try our best to dealing with two or more things in the modern life than finish things one by one.

1. 点名论点,每个论点要有理由,每个理由要有例子,每个例子要有细节

加油!!
Man proposes, God disposes!

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板凳
发表于 2009-4-20 22:19:00 |只看该作者
Life is busy in today's world because we can hardly manage two things at the same time. But with the great changes in almost every subject, we should have时态有问题 faced this problem. As time goes by, when I accustomed差be动词 with the dazzling world, I finally find that it is more effective to dealing原形 with two things at the same time than (to)finish one thing and then start other(another one). So, as far as I can concern(as far as I am concerned), I disagree with the topic话题有两面 你不同意哪一面? in three ways.8 v6 C8 a  G1 ?
Primarily, sometimes when we say we could时态! not manage two things simultaneously, the fact, which we must pay attention, is not that)we 差be动词unable to do this, but we do not trust ourselves and loose用词错误 confidence and failed. As what we have learned in school, the teacher always told us we must concentrate on a thing we are doing to approach success, and we should finish things one by one with hard work. It is true in someway, but it fails in some situations. In today's world, we meet more problems than in the past. We act as many roles in our society, as student前面we,数的一致!), as volunteer, as schoolmate and as researcher when we 没动词?in a project, how can we avoid these things(what things?) and follow the traditional rule saying to finish things one by one? (前面这句话到底要表达什么?)The answer is NO. And how to deal with this situation? We should trust ourselves that we have the inner power to face two or more things at the same time. Once there is a will, there is a way, it is possible to do all the things well.7 t  o+ Q8 Q) @* Y# [  I+ d- B$ G
Secondly, when we 差be动词doing a thing within an hour, it is interesting, but if it be动词lasting 10 hours, it is boring. (前后两个BUT)But things is different when there are two things at hand, like studying English and drawing pictures, I can do one for two hours and change to the other, the different regions used in the brain can make me relax and I will get a better results in both.+ N" r3 f' z, W; \! P0 L
Thirdly, doing two things at the same time may give me sparks in each other, which is helpful in finding new way to develop+ing any issue. For example, doing my subject in law (is sometimes meet)一句话两个动词而且没有连接 obstacles, but studying in Communication theory at the same time offers me a new way to think of law case, which is really worthy.
To sum up, as what I show above, doing two things at the same time have more merits, I do think it is better to believe in ourselves and try our best to dealing(deal) with two or more things in the modern life than (to)finish things one by one.
语法错误较多,建议有时间的话先巩固语法。
托福 双学位 实习 专业课 I can survive and thrive!

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地板
发表于 2009-4-22 16:10:19 |只看该作者
我的语法是很差,非常感谢楼上的详细批改~~
清空~~明媚吧~~~

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RE: TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 网兜妮妮第二十二次作业 [修改]

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TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 网兜妮妮第二十二次作业
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