5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 qsndbc的 第1次作业

qsndbcUID: 2633655

5月9日考试
qsndbc报名 cet4

Friendship is a eternal topic of whole human beings,we read ,listen,learn,till we real have it,as time goes by,we learn to cherish it;However,it is done in different way,some people deceive friends preventing hurt or gap between relationship while others stick to telling truth,which I agree with for the following reasons.
First and foremost,as good friends,one should try best to help his or her friends,take a example in a movie called “forest gump”for an example,forest is a retarded guy and in his first period of career he joins the army ,during the war he meets a good fellow ,Bubba whose dream is to start a shrimp bussiness after he gets out of army,unfortunately,Bubba died ,however,forest still realizes Bubba’s dream,starting a shimp bussiness, as well as named that after Bubba and support Bubba’s family.this case is not rare,in reality a big number of people do the same things everyday .people cherish fellowship,not only because they enjoy staying with someone having same interests,but also it is a kind of respect for responsibility which means support each other no matter what happens.
In the second place,to a great extend human need fellows just because it is friends who always tell truth. Admittedly we live in a world where people almost regard benefit as the final goal,staff brenching their real thoughts praise boss in order to get promotion,colleages tell lies to each other for the sake of exterior friendly relationshiop.Gradully it becomes more and more difficult for individual to listen to a real word in social communacation and that is why people treasure fellowship that much,because only mateys can always be deserve to trust ,can never cheat or let people down.people can unpack their mask in frond of good friends,talk no matter what it is,no pressure,no fake smile,just live how people want to.

piaolingzhongUID: 2381833

I'll mend you essay torromow.

piaolingzhongUID: 2381833

Friendship is a eternal topic of the whole human beings,we read ,listen,learn,till we real have it,as time goes by,we learn to cherish it，(；这地方不能用分号)However,it is done in different way,some people deceive friends 土to prevent (preventing) hurt or gap (between) relationship while others stick to telling truth,which I agree with for the following reasons. First and foremost,as good friends,one should try best to help his or her friends,take an(a) example in a movie called “Forest Gump”for an example,Forest is a retarded guy and in his first period of career he joins in the army ,during the war he meets a good fellow ,Bubba whose dream is to start a shrimp bussiness after he out of commission(gets out of army退役）,unfortunately,Bubba died .,however,Forest (still) realizes Bubba’s dream,starting a shimp bussiness, as well as named that after Bubba and support Bubba’s family.This case is not rare,in reality a big number of people do the same things everyday .people cherish fellowship,not only because they enjoy staying with someone having same interests,but also it is a kind of respect for responsibility which means support each other no matter what happens. In the second place,to a great extend human need fellows just because it is friends who always tell truth. Admittedly we live in a world where people almost regard benefit as the final goal:staff brenching their real thoughts praise boss in order to get promotion;colleages tell lies to each other for the sake of exterior friendly relationshiop.Gradually it becomes more and more difficult for individual to listen to a real word in social communication and that is why people treasure fellowship that much,because only mateys(这个词汇不错) can always be deserve to trust ,can never cheat or let people down.（这次话看不懂什么意思。好像句子结构也错了）people can unpack their mask in frond of good friends,talk no matter what it is,no pressure,no fake smile,just live how people want to.
总评，1，这篇文章和完全跑题了。不知道在讲什么
         2，一篇作文两个分段都没有，这太不应该了不像是过四级的人写的。
        3，既然文章都没有分段了，很难看出作者的主题在哪里。
     文章钟有很多断句。作者需要注意的。作者的词汇量尚可
多看看范文

qsndbcUID: 2633655

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.  



Our material life,especially in the city, is enriched by the developement of industry,we go to school by school bus,we attend office by elevator,in the summer air condition produce cool air which make people do not need to go outside,refregerater can freeze food for serveral days and keep that fresh...these cases in today people's lives are not rare,a growing number of people stay in this kind of surrounding

since they were born,indeed they get convenience from techiniques,which also lift the effiency of their work or study,however,the minority people cast doubt on that deicsion,i think live in the rural area can provide kids with better lives for the following reasons.

First and foremost,children who live in the countryside can get a better lifestyle,at the time when they have clear memory,what the approched are original stuffs,they live in nature,eat fresh vegetable and fruit picked recently from tree,drink water in nature instead of mineral liquad.what is more,they participate in doing chores,harvesting vegetables,planting fruit trees.when this type of children grow up,they will truely understand  what" does doing it by oneself"actually means.



Secondly,teenagers nurtured in rural area can be kept away from the danger of crime,drug,violence etc,which can make their mind do not be mature that early.as we all know,the rate of pregnance of teenager is becoming more and more high,and the age of that case is much more earlier than 10 or 20 years ago.what is worse,some bad merchant lure teenagers  to taste drug in order to earn a larger scale of people's money.



living in metropolitan do benefit kids to some extent,on the one hand,children can get better education which can initiat their intelligence,on the other hand,big city can also make children keep in touch with the step of the world.



To sum up,i significantly recommand kids to live in rural area because of keep thei innocent and health,



Word Count: 301

qsndbcUID: 2633655

We derive various information since we have memories or thoughts.Advertisement,current affairs,speeches,TV programme all fills our minds,they provide with many approachs to help us to make decisions when we encounter dillemmas.Especially the famous people,including actors,athletes and rock stars, are always of importance in drawing people's attention because celebrities'successful experience.Numerous people follow the "famous"direction,however,admittedly ,it is prestigious people who do lack education and did cheat the mass for selfish purposes.all in all,I hold a neutral point about whether people should listen to famous people's standpoints or not.


Fisrt and foremost,most of performers or sports stars do not attend higher education and they do not read a lot of books,which mean a little knowledge they have to advocate to the mass or maybe the majority of what they sustain is mistake.If people all concentrate on what they deem ,the direction of the value judgement will be misunderstanded, what is worse,the parents may let their children imitate these famous people,later the future of the world will be ruined.



In the seond place,abundant prestigious people are work for their own benefit.If company give them a big amount of money,"stars"can do everything as possible as they can to kiss the company's ass,how terrible the results would be would they never concern.Such as one year ago a notable case about "san lu"milk , "san lu" is a brand's name and this milk was
found consisted of a toxic element ,many infants died because of eat this milk,howduring 10 years this brand was praised by too many famous people.

Last but not the least,famous people do have great talents in specific areas ,such as the incomparably great wriiters Jane Austin,Mark Twin,Hemmingway,the talented painters Leonardo da Vinci,Picasso,the well-known performers Tom Hanks,Julia roberts,people like whom devote themselves totally to the civilization and deserve to be respected while it is necessary that people should learn from them.

To sum up,we should listen as well as be alert to celebities's opinion:getting rid of the disturb hindrance ,selecting the useful and correct information.

wangxinfeiUID: 2633557

We derive various information since we have memories or thoughts.Advertisement,current affairs,speeches,TV programme all fills our minds,they provide with many approachs to help us to make decisions when we encounter dillemmas.Especially the famous people,including actors,athletes and rock stars, are always of importance in drawing people's attention because celebrities'successful experience.Numerous people follow the "famous"direction,however,admittedly ,it is prestigious people who do lack education and did cheat the mass for selfish purposes.all in all,I hold a neutral point about whether people should listen to famous people's standpoints or not.

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Fisrt and foremost,most of performers or sports stars do not attend higher education and they do not read a lot of books,which mean a little knowledge they have to advocate to the mass or maybe the majority of what they sustain is mistake.If people all concentrate on what they deem ,the direction of the value judgement will be misunderstanded, what is worse,the parents may let their children imitate these famous people,later the future of the world will be ruined.3 {. |6 U2 s6 ~0 R8 N0 z
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In the seond place,abundant prestigious people are work(working) for their own benefit.If company give them a big amount of money,"stars"can do everything as possible as they can to kiss the company's ass,how terrible the results would be would they never concern.Such as one year ago a notable case about "san lu"milk , "san lu" is a brand's name and this milk was: S5 ?- y7 G1 X. x2 ]
found consisted of a toxic element ,many infants died because of eat this milk,how during 10 years this brand was praised by too many famous people.1 }( e+ F7 v6 J4 e* R

Last but not the least,famous people do have great talents in specific areas ,such as the incomparably great wriiters(writers) Jane Austin,Mark Twin,Hemmingway,the talented painters Leonardo da Vinci,Picasso,the well-known performers Tom Hanks,Julia roberts,people like whom devote themselves totally to the civilization and deserve to be respected while it is necessary that people should learn from them.

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To sum up,we should listen as well as be alert to celebities's opinion:getting rid of the disturb hindrance ,selecting the useful and correct information.

1。结构严谨，条理清晰，论点明确
2。词汇量给人印象深刻，句子结构很丰富
3。perfect

qsndbcUID: 2633655

People record their moods,history,experience since the human history exists,in the meantime,stuffs recorded characters have been the skull of animals,bamboo,cloth,what is more,paper,which has been used for the longest time,so,here come out a question,shall people today use the books over the internet, because they can easy to store and  are convenient to approach rather than a printed one which is not environmentally friendly?I think the next twenty years is a internet era for the following reasons.

First and foremost,people should significantely consider the storage problem.books are staff which have volume and need palce to deposit and much money should government pay for the library ,what is worse,according to a reasearch about book publishment,10000 new species of books are coming in the world everyday and after 10 years there would be 30,600,000 kinds.On the other hand,books are easy to corrade,as we all know,many books written thousands of years ago can not be recognized nowaday for the sake of moth eaten or breakage by human behavior,that's why i think book can not exits after 20 years.

In the second place,it is easy read a book over the internet,first one needs to pay online by visa,second use the cipher to download or read directly the book,that is far easy than you go across several blocks and find  your purpose difficultly in library and pay for it, isn't it?also,a internet book is much more cheaper than a printed one,because people do not need to pay money for disafforest and print,to some extend it benefit the environment.

Do printed books have some great advantages,for instance,it is portative,people can bring it everywhere,no matter in a forest or car，on the beach,one can take his or her favorite books as long as one needs.However,I still believe the advantages of internet reading is much more better than a material book for its convenience on both storage and obtainment.

llacatUID: 2628715

7# qsndbc
People record their moods, history, experience since the human history exists, in the meantime, stuffs recorded characters（？） have been the skull of animals, bamboo, cloth,. (这里应该断句，后面是递进了)What is more, paper, which has（have） been used for the longest time,.(断句)So, here come out a question, shall people today use the books over the internet, because they can easy to store and  are convenient to approach rather than a（去掉a） printed one which is not environmentally friendly?(这句话是不是长了点？全是逗号，建议适当断句;；另外表达上有点混乱，没太看明白什么意思？) I think the next twenty years is a(an) internet era for the following reasons. （有点偏了吧？不是说网络，是说学生用电子书）



First and foremost, people should significantely (拼写错误 是significantly) consider the storage problem. books are staff which have volume and need palce to deposit and much money should government pay for the library ,（首先，这句话表达太中式了，我可以看懂但老外就不一定了。Books’ volume/ deposit 改为storage，前者是存款的意思/government should have investments on the library, 不过我不太同意最后政府这点理由，毕竟电子书也要需要投资的.仅供参考）
what is worse, according to a reasearch（research） about book publishment,10000 new species of books are coming in the world everyday and after 10 years there would be 30,600,000 kinds.(of books )On the other hand, books are easy to corrade(?), as we all know, many books written thousands of years ago can not be recognized nowadays for the sake of moth eaten or breakage by human behavior, that's why i think book can not exits after 20 years.
这段的论点我个人不太赞同，感觉和题目有点无关。你看，你的主论点是说学生20年后将彻底淘汰纸质书用电子书，可是这段并不能很好的证明这点。另外小拼写错误很多，句子的表达也比较繁琐，出现一个句号基本一直用不断句的现象。

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In the second place,（有这种表达吗？有出处就没关系） it is easy read a book over the internet, （断句）First（段首才用过这个系列的序数词，最好不要再重复用了） ，one needs to pay online by visa, （什么意思？这和电子书阅读方便这个观点有关吗？）second use the cipher（？ 主语是谁？） to download or read directly the book, that is far easy than you go across several blocks and find  your purpose difficultly in library and pay for it, isn't it? Also ,a internet book is much more cheaper than a printed one, because people do not need to pay money for disafforest（disforest） and print, to some extend it benefit the environment. & q4 u: C/ O! X
这段还是很乱，没看懂你到底想说什么。既然选了电子书阅读方便这个分论点，就不要再往别的方面扩展解释，给出相关的例子证明这个分论点就好了，可是这段里的details感觉很乱.另外，词汇语法上都有很多错误



Do printed books have some great advantages,（断句；文句不能做主题句）For instance, it is portative（？）, people can bring it everywhere,no matter in a forest or car，on the beach, one can take his or her favorite books as long as one needs.（改成want更好吧）However,I still believe the advantages of internet reading is much more better than a material book for its convenience on both storage and obtainment.

这篇文章总体来说显得很生涩，段落、语法、句式、论点上都有不足，尤其是在断句这个问题上显得很明显。可能作者是用记事本写的吧，没来得及贴到word上去自动纠错，不过字里行间还是看的出来作者的潜力！建议作者好好看些范文，平时多加练习！我的水平有限，批改中肯定有不足，希望我们互相学习哈！