5.6月份 互改作文cracking ibt essay!小组nanorock第九次作业

nanorockUID: 2638085

5.6月份 互改作文cracking ibt essay!nanorock第九次作业。第一次参加作文互改小组活动，大家轻拍。

159. What is the change that should be remembered aboutthe twentieth century?

The twentieth century saw great change. In youropinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentiethcentury? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

It has been said that the changes that happened intwentieth century are much more than the ones in other centuries together.Indeed, in twentieth century, the society of human being had a great change inpolitics, economics and culture. In those changes, I definitely think that thechange of life quality of common people should be remembered. In the past 100year, human being defeated poverty, hunger and disease through hard work. Eachof them can be considered as a great victory of human being.

First, in twentieth century, most of normal people graduallybegan to own more properties and capable to enjoy a high-quality life. Forexample, in the beginner of 20th century, most of Chinese peoplelived in poverty. All their properties are always just one bed, some chairs anda dirty room, which is build of the grass and failed to withstand the cold windand heavy rain. In one word, people can not have a comfortable life. Currently,even in the poor rural area, people have a better room that can provide them aclean and comfortable life.

Secondly, the thread brought by hunger for normal people hadgone in the end of 20th century. In the past centuries, the eventthat people died for hunger could not considered as a serious news. Especiallyin the bad period, a large amount of people would lose their lives because theycan not get enough food. As a people who live in 21th century, it might bepossible for him to worry about his room or job, but it is ridiculous for himto worry about the event if he can get enough food. We will be shocked greatlyif we get the news that someone died of hunger.

The Last but not least, people wined a lot in the battleswith disease because the improvement of medical science and technology. In 19thcentury, a huge amount of people even some Chinese emperors died for Tian Huabecause there was no one who understand how to protect people from this disease.Today, if you get Tian Hua, you never worry about it. It’s not a big deal! Anormal doctor can help you to cure this disease. In the help of modernfacilities, furthermore, doctors can cure more serious diseases.

In the end, in 20th century, most of normalpeople got rid of the problems puzzled human being for a long period, such as poverty,hunger and disease. Because of the improvement of science and technology, peopleenjoy a high-quality life. I think the future people should remember this greatchange.

qazseeUID: 2490389

赞一个。
with the help of modern facilities, furthermore, doctors can cure more serious diseases.
这个带插入语的句子我不太明白。感觉怪怪的。可不可以给我讲下？谢谢。

shancaoUID: 2637576

:handshake.都是处女作，一起努力，呵呵~~~

shancaoUID: 2637576

1# nanorock

It has been said that the changes that happened in twentieth century are much more than the ones in other(earlier更具体一点？) centuries together.Indeed, in twentieth century, the society of human being had a great change in politics, economics and culture（pl.cultures）. In(among更好吧) those changes, I definitely think that the change of life quality of common people （common people's life quality）should be remembered. (Actually,)In the past 100 year(s), human being defeated poverty, hunger and disease through hard work. Each of them can be considered as a great victory of human being(human being太多了，这个可以去掉或者换成别的吧，比如in human history).
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5 v  i0 V) H' k6 p5 h2 q2 e8 sFirst, in twentieth century, most of normal people（individuals替换一下？） gradually began to own more properties and capable to enjoy a high-quality life. For example, in the beginner（beginning） of 20th century, most of Chinese people lived in poverty. All their properties are always just one bed, some chairs and a dirty room, （a single bed,several chairs and a dirty room consisted all their properties.what's more,the room was likely built of grasses(不准确，应该具体些，不然影响意思)and failed to withstand cold wind and heavy rain）. In one word, people can(did) not have a comfortable life. Currently,even in the poor rural area, people have a better room that can provide them a clean and comfortable life(房子能提供生活吗？people lead a prosperous life that can provide them a clean room and ample furnitures). 3 O/ y, E5 D( S0 i" j
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Secondly, the thread(threat?) brought by hunger for normal people had gone in the end of 20th century(people in the end of 20th century was no longer threatened by hunger). In the past centuries, the event that people died for hunger could not considered as a serious news. Especially in the bad period, a large amount of people would lose their lives because they can not get (obtain)enough food. As a people who live in 21th century, it might be possible for him to worry about his room or job, but it is ridiculous for him to worry about the event if he can get enough food(food supply个人觉得更简洁准确). We will be shocked greatly if we get(heard) the news that someone died of hunger. 8 s; E7 h7 p$ l* F% T7 D( K$ _3 f
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The Last but not least, people wined a lot in the battles with disease because (of)the improvement(development?) of medical science and technology. In 19thcentury, a huge amount of people even some Chinese emperors died for Tian Hua because there was no one who understand how to protect people from this disease.Today, if you get Tian Hua, you never worry about it. It’s not a big deal! A normal doctor can help you to cure this disease. In the help of modern facilities, furthermore, doctors can cure more serious diseases. 0 [# y! o' I( U. N2 }& L  v

+ S( ?  d1 V2 }In the end, in 20th century, most of normal people got rid of the problems puzzled human being for a long period, such as poverty,hunger and disease. Because of the improvement of science and technology, people enjoy a high-quality life. I think the future people should remember this great change(复数吧？)。

shancaoUID: 2637576

可能水平有限，虽然改的挺认真，不知道你满不满意？建议你下次注意空格，以及调整一下字的大小，你的字太小，看得我屏幕都快望穿了~~ 呵呵！ 红色地方是按照要求标出的自己觉得写的好的，另外你文章的整体把握很好！ 继续加油！

nanorockUID: 2638085

2# qazsee

插入语的位置不影响句意吧

qazseeUID: 2490389

It has been said that the changes that happened intwentieth century are much more than the ones in other centuries together.(我把主干提出来，changes are much more than...，感觉奇怪，主谓不一致？）Indeed, in twentieth century, the society of human being had a great change inpolitics, economics and culture. In those changes, I definitely think that the change of life quality of common people should be remembered. In the past 100year, human being defeated poverty, hunger and disease through hard work. Each of them can be considered as a great victory of human being. （huanman being 确实用地太多了，在下面举例时，为避免people等反复出现，可以用具体的例子打破，如the older,citizens等）
First, in twentieth century, most of normal people graduallybegan to own more properties and capable to enjoy a high-quality life. Forexample, in the beginner of 20th century, most of Chinese peoplelived in poverty. All their properties are always just one bed, some chairs anda dirty room, which is build of the grass and failed to withstand the cold wind and heavy rain. In one word, people can not have a comfortable life. Currently,even in the poor rural area, people have a better room that can provide them a clean and comfortable life. （a clear life?)

Secondly, the thread brought by hunger for normal people(你是想威胁吧?应是threat brought to ordinary people,不是normal people,这是正常人) had gone in the end of 20th century. In the past centuries, the eventthat people died for hunger could not considered as a serious news. Especiallyin the bad period, a large amount（a large number) of people would lose their lives because theycan not get enough food. As a people who live in 21th century, it might be possible for him to worry about his room or job, but it is ridiculous for himto worry about the event if he can get enough food. We will be shocked greatlyif we get the news that someone died of hunger.

The Last but not least(last but not the least), people wined a lot in the battles with disease because the improvement of medical science and technology. In 19th century, a huge amount of people even some Chinese emperors died for Tian Huabecause there was no one who understand how to protect people from this (that）disease.Today, if you get Tian Hua, you never worry about it（奇怪的表达） .It’s not a big deal! A normal （ordinary）doctor can help you to cure this disease. In（with） the help of modernfacilities, furthermore, doctors can cure more serious diseases.

In the end, in 20th century, most of normalpeople got rid of the problems puzzled human being for a long period, such as poverty,hunger and disease. Because of the improvement of science and technology, people enjoy a high-quality life. I think the future people should remember this greatchange.(上GOOGLE查的高品质生活是high quliaty of life)

认真修改了，但水平有限，互相间多交流切磋：）
你写的真不错，向你学习。