TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组笨笨奔奔 第三十次作业

笨笨奔奔UID: 2623534

Nowadays, people are trying to find out which is more important for students to understand, and this is where the controversy arise. Most people claim that ideas and concept are more important for students to understand. This idea is strongly poopsed by numerous people who hold the opinion that a student should regard learning facts as the most important to understand.1 Z- i: u6 V2 K. z. g5 N. t; _

As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter. There are several reasons to support my opinion, and here I want to put forward some reasons of the most important.

First of all, with the development of science and technology, our society is changing rapidly, maybe the ideas and concept we are learning today will be out of date tomorrow. However, all facts we learned are always exist and can help us to make progress all the time. From the most up dated survey conducted by chinese biggest website sina.com, there are 85 percent graduated students argue that many of the concept that they learned in the university are too old to be used during their work.

Another important reason that cannot be ignored is that learning facts is easier and more useful than ideas and concept. In fact, sometimes by learning facts one can control concepts by nature. I myself is a good example. Several years ago, I became interested in tennis and I played it with my friend John, who is a professor in it. Though he didn’t teach me any concept about how to play tennis, I am good at it now. on the contrary, my brother has watched numorous tennis games and knows well in tennis playing concept, but if we play tennis together, I am always the winner!


However, the importance of ideas and concept for students to undersant cannot be easily left out even though tremendous benefits lie in learning facts. Sometimes, only by learning concept carefully can a person do well in practice. As I am learning the Internetional Business and Trade, before I become a businesswoman I must know many business words such as “inflation” if I do not know what is the meaning of these words, I would not become a successful businesswoman.+ ?9 f+ i% X; f! H& A) C4 M
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As can be seen from the above analysis, learning facts for students to understand are obviously more important than ideas and concept and alllow us no excuse to vote against it.

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

Nowadays, people are trying to find out which is more important for students to understand(?啊，这里没东西啦？感觉句子不完整）, and this is where the controversy arise. Most people claim that ideas and concept are more important for students to understand. This idea is strongly poopsed（opposed) by numerous people（和前面most people 重复，考虑替换,by the other part of prople） who hold the opinion that a student should regard learning facts as the most important to understand.(本段用了很多understand,LZ注意同义词的替换，显得文章丰富一点）1 Z- i: u6 V2 K. z. g5 N. t; _ As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter. There are several reasons to support my opinion, and here I want to put forward some reasons of the most important. First of all, with the development of science and technology, our society is changing rapidly, maybe the ideas and concept we are learning today will be out of date tomorrow. However, all facts we learned are always exist and can help us to make progress all the time. From the most up dated survey conducted by chinese biggest website sina.com, there are 85 percent graduated students argue that many of the concept that they learned in the university are too old to be used during their work.9 X  Z' l) q4 @( n2 L! ~ Another important reasonthat cannot be ignored is that learning facts is easier and more useful than ideas and concept. In fact, sometimes by learning facts one can control concepts by nature. I myself is a good example. Several years ago, I became interested in tennis and I played it with my friend John, who is a professor in it. Though he didn’t teach me any concept about how to play tennis, I am good at it now. （这里最好再展开一点，比如he did not teach me any techniques but instead of it, he played with me for almost two monthes,but through this kind of long time practise,I can feel that I was making prograss everyday)on the contrary, my brother has watched numorous tennis games and knows well in tennis playing concept, but if (if 吗？最好说我们最后实地较量了一回，结果我赢了，这样会比较有说服力）we play tennis together, I am always the winner! However, the importance of ideas and concept for students to undersant cannot be easily left out even though tremendous benefits lie in learning facts（这句感觉不太顺，这样会不会好一点 however,it can not be denied that concepts and ideas have their own value in our life). Sometimes, only by learning concept carefully can a person do well in practice. As I am learning the Internetional Business and Trade, before I become a businesswoman I must know many business words such as “inflation” if I do not know what is the meaning of these words, I would not become a successful businesswoman(这里的例子要简略，因为是让步段，不要抢了主题）.+ (?9 f+ i% X; f! H& A) C4 M j As can be seen from the above analysis, learning facts for students to understand are obviously more important than ideas and concept and alllow us no excuse to vote against it. 句子和结构方面lz再加强一下吧，加油哦~~

lulufriendUID: 2612617

Nowadays, people are trying to find out which is more important for students to understand(between..and..), and this is where the controversy arise(s). Most people claim that ideas and concept are more important for students to understand. (While)This idea is strongly poopsed (opposed)by numerous people who hold the opinion that a student should regard learning facts as the most important (factor)to understand.(LZ这一段的框架有点散~逻辑上应更清晰一些~)

As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter. There are several reasons to support my opinion, and here I want to put forward some reasons(del) of(among) the most important +ones.(这样是不是没那么重复呢？)

First of all, with the development of science and technology, our society is changing rapidly, maybe the ideas and concept we are learning today will be out of date tomorrow. However, all facts we learned are(del) always exist and can help us to make progress all the time. From the most updated survey conducted by chinese biggest website sina.com, there are 85 percent graduated students +who argue that many of the concept that(可省) they learned in the university are too old(stereotyped) to be used during their work.

Another important reason that cannot be ignored is that learning facts is easier and more useful than ideas and concept. In fact, sometimes by learning facts one can control concepts by nature. I myself is(不确定LZ的用法到底对不对~建议改成Take myself as) a good example. Several years ago, I became interested in tennis and I played it with my friend John, who is a professor in it. Though he didn’t teach me any concept about how to play tennis, I am good at it now. on the contrary, my brother has watched numorous tennis games and knows well in tennis playing concept, but if we play tennis together, I am always the winner! (例子很好~还可以再充分一些~比如教导的过程之类~说服力更强)

However(改成Admittedly~~不能和even though连用), the importance of ideas and concept for students to undersant cannot be easily left out even though tremendous benefits lie in learning facts. Sometimes, only by learning concept carefully can a person do well in practice. As I am learning the Internetional Business and Trade, before I become a businesswoman I must know many business words such as “inflation” if I do not know what is the meaning of these words, I would not become a successful businesswoman.

As can be seen from the above analysis, learning facts for students to understand are(is) obviously more important than +studying ideas and concept and alllow(allows) us no excuse to vote against it.

LZ小错较多阿~重复有些多~~不过例子很好啊~至少比我好多了~~一起加油吧！

saavedroUID: 2423190

Nowadays, people are trying to find out which(what) is more important for students to understand..., and this is where the controversy arise. Most people claim that ideas and concept（s） are more important for students to understand. This idea is strongly poopsed（？？？） by numerous people who hold the opinion that a student should regard learning facts as the most important to understand. （understand使用太频繁了，可以考虑换其他表达法。）

As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter (later later指的是上文你说的那个观点呢？). There are several reasons to support my opinion, and here I want to put forward some reasons of the most important (语法错).

First of all, with the development of science and technology, our society is changing rapidly, maybe the ideas and concept we are learning today will be out of date tomorrow.（双谓语。 后面要用从句表达） However, all facts we learned are always exist and can help us to make progress all the time. From the most up-dated survey conducted by chinese biggest website sina.com(要用引号标注), there are 85 percent graduated students argue that many of the concept that they learned in the university are too old to be used during their work.

Another important reason that cannot be ignored is that learning facts is easier and more useful than ideas and concept. In fact, sometimes by learning facts one can control concepts by nature. I myself is a good example. Several years ago, I became interested in tennis and I played it with my friend John, who is a professor in it. Though he didn’t teach me any concept about how to play tennis, I am good at it now.
On the contrary, my brother has watched numorous tennis games and knows well in tennis playing concept, but if we play tennis together, I am always the winner!   concept使用太过频繁，考虑换表达法。读着很抽象。


However, the importance of ideas and concept for students to undersant（拼写错了） cannot be easily left out even though tremendous benefits lie in learning facts. Sometimes, only by learning concept carefully can a person do well in practice. As I am learning the Internetional Business and Trade, before I become a businesswoman I must know many business words such as “inflation” if I do not know what is the meaning of these words, I would not become a successful businesswoman.  (这一段写的不错，论证很有条理性。举例也很贴切。)

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As （少主语）can be seen from the above analysis(复数), learning facts for students to understand are(is 这里单数，注意前面的主语是一个整体，不是facts) obviously more important than ideas and concept and alllows us no excuse to vote against it.



文章语言写的还是很不错的。我就不挑错了。 中间用tennis举例的那一段感觉论证稍微有点不是很充分，从正反两方面说虽然你用到了，但是反面渲染的过低，主要是没有展开论述，例子出来了，但是如何支持和论证观点没有很好的展开和体现。   后面用自己举例的那一段写的还是很漂亮的。  楼主在这篇文章中体现的语言表达能力是很不错的。 长短句结合，句子变化做到了多样性。不少词汇使用的也恰到好处。 继续努力！