[try best]ISSUE99 by suzie

yjwn1987UID: 2495078

第一次作业：
TOPIC: ISSUE99 - "In any realm of life-whether academic, social, business, or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."
WORDS: 477          TIME: --:--:--          DATE: 2009-5-23 下午 12:07:14
  In the speaker's assertion, I agree with that the practical way can help us survival,but it's not the only way to succeed and the idealism is still important in the modern society.
  Admittedly,practical means brief and directly thinking,which can help us take actions rapidly in difficult situations.Just as depictions in the novel Robinson Crusoe,immidiately after the first shocking,Robinson fetches supplies from the ship, builds a place to live,proceeds to plant corns and feed animals for food.Every thing he did on the island is to take a  practical,we can see from him that without pragmatism man can not survival in the execrable circumstance.Conditions even alike in the modern society,we live in a world which is getting more and more complex,that's why the OCCAM'S RAZOR,which says entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily,a totally practical way of thinking,becomes one of the most usefull tools of today's life.All the MBA courses,the speeches about work efficiency,the skills of time saving,try to teach us how to hold what we need practically.
  However,does survival means succeed as the speaker implied?Absolutely not.Pure pragmatic sometimes leads to a wildering of finally goal and even a forfeit of moral,therefore,the idealistic seems more crucial in the way of searching succeed.Dream is the real resource which makes lives full of significance.Examples come from all the realms of life:in the academic,Pierre Curie and Marie Curie, the owners of Nobel Prize in physical,got the prize for their discover of the radiation phenomena,which people never thought of its exist before;in the social realm,Martin Luther King's famouse dream now has come ture while it sounded just a fantasy in his time;in the business,three young man founded a video sharing website at a great cost while no one believes they can success.Now the web almost changes the people's vision of world.It's You Tube.The examples show that reality is different from the real.Just as a manager only need to be practical while a CEO must be more or less idealistic,the long-term plan,can bring us greater harvest which the short one can't.
  At the same time,from my own perspective,to be idealistic doesn't mean there are no practical actions exist in the process.There is a delicate balance between the realism and idealism.Actually,along the road to success,many people are idealists with practical skills.Pierre&Marie Curie,as mentioned above,they paid a indescribable cost for their dream in science,but they also are precise scientists.Steps taken during the reserches must be carefully and scientificly,the couple treat every reflection practically and only in this way can they finally make their dream come true.So sometimes the two may not conflict for the practical is in the formation of ideals.
  In sum,the pragmatic and idealistic have their given funcions and relationship.No great success can come into being without any one of both.What's more,opposite to the speaker's assertion,in a society full of eager for quick success and instant benefits, the idealistic reveals more precious as human experience shows.

heliappleUID: 2621347

1# yjwn1987
改好了，文章在附件里。改文章比写还费劲，如有不妥之处，QQ商量哦

nlhustUID: 2404239

修改的文章在附件里:)

yjwn1987UID: 2495078

当当当当~~修改后的ISSUE99新鲜出炉了！我称之为ISSUE99升级版。
在这里呢首先要感谢try best 的超负责组长nunu和热心高手apple姐，没有她们的棒喝，我还自己傻不呵呵的抱着一堆错误美呢。。。看到发回的作文里五颜六色的批注和纠错，一边流汗一边就想，难道是上天派这些人来收拾我的。。。
咳咳，感激的话先说到这里，下面讲一下我对这篇文章的修改和心得：
首先要做的肯定是把错词都改掉咯！真是一个大工程啊。。。写作文的时候脑子彷佛坐过山车，再加上一开始不知道怎么用word的自动纠错，最终导致的就是整篇文章遍布着类似于把succeed & success ，practical& pragmatism,survive&survival,and so on 彻底混用的现象，甚至于把true写成ture,并且完全无视于英语的各种单复数形式以及时态。。。这让我清楚的看到，自己的英语基础真的是一塌糊涂，所谓的眼高手低就是这个样子。具体应对措施，暂时也没有想到什么好办法，只能在以后的写作多注意吧！
然后是句子的问题，我太过于追求长句子，可是实际上并没有驾驭它的本领，一写就写到云里雾里不知所云，所以这次改的时候把长句子基本上都砍断了，为此放弃了很得意的OCCAM'S RAZOR的内容。有一个帖子里说的很对，玩句子怎样都比不上native speaker 的，所以关键是把要表达的意思说清楚。与其写的很长但是很纠结，不如简明一点好，恩，提醒提醒自己。
有关论证过程，两位G友都指出第三段的结论和第四段居里夫妇的例子写的很奇怪。我尝试着让第三段的说理向点题的方向靠拢了一些。第四段实在是想不到别的例子，刚看过的effective writting里讲到论证说例子可以不变，就看你怎么往有利于自己论点的方面说，受此启发我就没再换例子，只换了下说法。不知道现在第四段推理出来会不会有一点好转，恩，这还是一个有待讨论的问题。
And then，说理部分薄弱，我是不太会讲大道理那种，怎么也上升不了高度，不知道怎样可以提高。语言也相当中国化,这篇文章中间还有好几个表达需要再请教高人。总之，问题多多。唯一值得庆幸的是现在发现了这些问题，这篇文就算做的一个memo吧！

修改后issue99如下:

In terms of the speaker’s assertion, I agree that the practical way can help us survive. But pragmatic behavior is not the only way to succeed and the idealistic view is still important in the modern society.

Admittedly, pragmatism means emphasizing on practical results or concerns. Hence pragmatic behavior may help us take actions rapidly in difficult situations. Just as depicted in the novel Robinson Crusoe, immediately
after the first shock, Robinson fetches supplies from the ship, proceeds to plant corns, catches animals for food and builds a place to live. What he did on the island is to take action guided by a practical view. From his story, we can see that man cannot survive in the execrable circumstance without practical behavior. Situations are like in the modern society, for we live in a world which is getting more and more complex. So it’s fair enough that the OCCAM’S RAZOR, a practical way of thinking, becomes one of the most useful tools to solve problems nowadays. And all the speeches about work efficiency in MBA courses try to teach us how to get our goals practically.

However, pure pragmatic sometimes leads to a bewilderment of goal and even a forfeit of moral. Therefore, the idealistic seems more crucial to reach a desired goal. Dream is the real resource which makes lives full of significance. Examples come from all the realms of life. In the field of science, Pierre Curie and Marie Curie, the owners of Nobel Prize in the physical science, got the prize for their discovery of the radiation phenomena, which people never thought of its existence before. In the social realm, Martin Luther King’s famous dream now has come true while it sounded just as a fantasy in his time. In the business realm, three young men found a video sharing website at a great cost while no one believes they can become success. But now this website almost changes the people’s vision of world. The name of the web is You Tube. All the examples show that idealistic is different from the pipe dream. Idealistic view leads human to explore the uncharted religions. And with defeating the traditional concept and making breakthroughs in our own lives, we can enjoy a much stronger sense of achievement during the way to our idealistic purpose.

At the same time, being idealistic doesn’t mean there are no practical actions. There is a delicate balance between the realism and idealism. Along the road to success, actually, many people are idealists but with practical skills. Just think about example of the Cuie Couple, as mentioned before. Although they dedicate their life to their dream in science, the couple took every step carefully and treated every reflection in very practical and scientific attitude. And then they finally realized their dream. So, for one could hardly succeed without acting practically while having a idealistic view, sometimes the pragmatism and idealism do not conflict with each other.

In sum, the pragmatism and idealism have their given functions. Without any of them, no great success could come true. Furthermore, opposite to the speaker’s assertion, in a society where people are eager to pursue the short cut to success, the idealistic view point is more precious as the examples show above.