0910G [try best] 第一小组第二次作业 issue13 by heliapple

heliappleUID: 2621347

issue 13
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
写的我块吐血了:mad:
提纲：
语言是什么？现在有什么趋势？
语言消亡是个正常的历史过程，是先进社会生产力取代落后社会生产力的必然结果。
语言消失的太快使的人们无法记载传承人类的一部分历史，和长期积累的生活经验以及对自然界的认识。无法研究人类进化，语言产生，思维活动。  
政府要做的是尽量延缓消失过程，同时帮助语言学家已经历史学家记录各种语言

Language, an old product of human society, is the creature of human mind mainly for communication. As people were isolated in different places, various kinds of languages were created in different communities. It is reported that there are almost 7000 kinds of languages in the world, and 96% of them are spoken by 4% of the world’s population. Along with the globalization, more and more lesser-known languages are extinct or are becoming extinct because their people stop speaking their mother tongues. It could be said that where there are minorities, there are dying languages.

At the first glance, it seems that the language loss is a natural process. As long as a community was defeated by another more advanced community, the less advanced one would usually abandon their culture and language to seek for a better survival. In ancient China, there were even a lot of minorities voluntarily throw their own languages and cultures away to melt themselves into the Han people, because the Han was more advanced. However, what happens nowadays is different from what happened before, as the speed of language extinction is too high for the human society to maintain the health of their culture as a whole. The linguists predicted that more than half of the languages will die during this century.

A lot of languages died out before being clearly studied or even discovered after the industrialization evolution in the process of globalization. The life style, stories, rituals as well as some secrets of the nature is imbedded in the languages and the loss of them is a great damage to human society. There would be a chance for us to find the magic plant in the rainforest to beat cancers down written in an endangered language. While, we may never find it because that language might die before we record it. Moreover, language is not only the product of human brain but also interacts with brain during the evolutional process. By comparing the pool of languages and their speakers’ brain we might get useful information about the function of human brain, the evolution of human species as well as the origin of languages. Unfortunately, the accelerated language extinction is making the hope becomes bleak. Just as we all know that a biologist could not depict the whole picture of plant world by choosing only oak and spruce. Biologist and linguists also could not answer the above questions by studying only the frequently used languages.

Therefore, to give ourselves a chance to better explore the nature and our history, the government should do something to slow down the extinction process. Although languages are becoming endangered mainly because the younger generations don’t want to use it and the best way to revitalize a language is to use it in daily life by more and more people, but it is not appropriate to ask, to require people to do that as an obligatory if they don’t want. What the government should do is to tell the people how important it is to keep their mother language and their culture, to help them to educate their children in their endangered language if they need, to help historians and linguists to record the stories and cultures of the dying languages for further study, and to accelerate and encourage the translation of canon literature from dying languages to other frequently used languages in order to share and best use of the dying language and its culture for all the human beings.

GG86_FlyUID: 2641450

Language, an old product of human society, is the creature of human mind mainly for communication. As people were isolated in different places, various kinds of languages were created in different communities. It is reported that there are almost 7000 kinds of languages in the world, and 96% of them are spoken by 4% of the world’s population. Along with the globalization, more and more lesser-known languages are extinct or are becoming extinct because their people stop speaking their mother tongues. It could be said that where there are minorities, there are dying languages.

At the first glance, it seems that the language loss is a natural process. As long as a community was defeated by another more advanced community, the less advanced one would usually abandon their culture and language to seek for a better survival. In ancient China, there were even a lot of minorities voluntarily throw their own languages and cultures away to melt themselves into the Han people, because the Han was more advanced. However, what happens nowadays is different from what happened before, as the speed of language extinction is too high for the human society to maintain the health of their culture ？（这个health指得是什么意思？）as a whole. The linguists predicted that more than half of the languages will die during this century.

A lot of languages died out before being clearly studied or even discovered after the industrialization evolution in the process of globalization. The life style, stories, rituals as well as some secrets of the nature is imbedded in the languages and the loss of them is a great damage to human society. There would be a chance for us to find the magic plant in the rainforest to beat cancers down written in an endangered language. While, we may never find it because that language might die before we record it. Moreover, language is not only the product of human brain but also interacts with brain during the evolutional process. By comparing the pool of languages and their speakers’ brain we might get useful information about the function of human brain, the evolution of human species as well as the origin of languages. Unfortunately, the accelerated language extinction is making the hope becomes bleak. Just as we all know that a biologist could not depict the whole picture of plant world by choosing only oak and spruce. Biologist and（去掉？） linguists also could not answer the above questions by studying only the frequently used languages.

Therefore, to give ourselves a chance to better explore the nature and our history, the government should do something to slow down the extinction process. Although languages are becoming endangered mainly because the younger generations don’t want to use it and the best way to revitalize a language is to use it in daily life by more and more people, but it is not appropriate to ask and to require people to do that as an obligatory if they don’t want to. What the government should do is to tell the people how important it is to keep their mother language and their culture, to help them to educate their children in their endangered language if they need, to help historians and linguists to record the stories and cultures of the dying languages for further study, and to accelerate and encourage the translation of canon literature from dying languages to other frequently used languages in order to share and best use of the dying language and its culture for all the human beings.


我觉得这一篇写的非常好，思路很流畅，我几乎都没有改到什么错误，有些地方我学习。

nlhustUID: 2404239

这篇感觉写的很不错，每一段我都详细分析了一下，倒不是说帮你纠错了，主要是帮助我自己细看一下你的行文逻辑，便于好好向你学习了。。

我的想法
好的用法
总结分析


Language, an old product of human society, is the creature of human mind mainly for communication. As people were isolated in different places, various kinds of languages were created indifferent communities. It is reported that there are almost 7000 kinds of languages in the world, and 96% of them are spoken by 4% of the world's population. Along with the globalization, more and more lesser-known languages are extinct or are becoming extinct because their people stop speaking their mother tongues. It could be said that where there are minorities, there are dying languages.
由背景很自然的过渡到全球化导致越来越多的小语种濒临灭绝，很自然。

At the first glance, it seems that the language loss is a natural process. As long as a community was defeated by another more advanced community, the less advanced one would usually abandon their culture and language to seek for a better survival.In ancient China, there were even a lot of minorities voluntarily throw their own languages and cultures away to melt themselves into the Han people, because the Han was more advanced. However, what happens nowadays is different from what happened before, as the speed of language extinction is too high for the human society to maintain the health of their culture as a whole. The linguists predicted that morethan half of the languages will die during this century.

第一段最后提出语言的灭绝问题，而这一段的第一句话说语言的消亡问题乍一看是很正常的自然过程，这起到了很好的承上启下的作用，而且有别于那总死板的连接语句，赞。中间对这一自然过程进行解释，还举出了中国的例子，巧妙地说出了语种逐渐灭亡的原因，而不是很生硬的说thereare several reasons … ，而且这样写出来还给人感觉思考很周全，毕竟考虑到了某些语言的灭亡是其自身局限性所导致，比起一上来就说一段语言的重要性而不考虑到小语种的特殊性然最后得出该保护小语种的结论的写法要高明多了。最后一句是对前一句话中语言快速灭亡的印证，增强了这一前提的可信度。总的来说，前面两段基本上是对题目中前面一句话的论证，然后也为后面的论述开辟了道路。

A lot of languages died out before being clearly studied or even discovered after the industrialization evolution（industrial revolution？否则为什么用after呢？）in the process of globalization. The life style, stories, rituals as well as some secrets of the nature is imbedded in the languages and the loss of them is a great damage to human society. There would be a chance for us to find the magic plant in the rainforest to beat cancers down written in an endangered language. While, we may never find it because that language might die before we record it. Moreover, language is notonly the product of human brain but also interacts with brain during the evolutional process. By comparing the pool of languages and their speakers’brain we might get useful information about the function of human brain, the evolution of human species as well as the origin of languages. Unfortunately,the accelerated language extinction is making the hope becomes bleak. Just as we all know that a biologist could not depict the whole picture of plantworld by choosing only oak and spruce. Biologists and linguists also could not answer the above questions by studying only the frequently used languages.

首先，看完前面一段的最后两句觉得你这一段要详述过快的灭亡速度导致人类无法maintainthe health of their culture as a whole. 但是这一段虽然也是在讲过快的语言灭亡所带来的危害，但是说到是关于治疗癌症的植物的记录，是对人类进化人脑结构的研究，这些都属于后续研究的领域了，而针对maintain。。。asa whole 来看的话似乎应该是保持整个文化的完整性的问题。其实我还是不太明白这个maintainthe health of their culture as a whole到底是指的什么。

这一段先陈述事实，然后说明语言是很多东西的的载体，然后举出了magic plant的例子说明小语种的灭亡很有可能导致我们失去了一些珍贵的资料。这个例子使得这个概念很容易被理解，但是我觉得它还是有些瑕疵的，或者这么说吧，这种关于有研究价值的记录肯定是有很多的，但是特指关于治疗cancer的就太过理想化了。回正题，这段后面接着就指出语言还有助于研究人类大脑的工作方式人类的进化及语言的起源。然后为了说明小语种对这一研究的重要，文中运用了类比的手法，将对plantworld的研究和上述研究进行类比，这样就避免了繁琐的说理，同是部分与整体的关系，但plantworld更为直观，也就使得作者的观点更容易理解从而更具说服力。这个用得太妙了。

Therefore, to give ourselves a chanceto better explore the nature and our history, the government should dosomething to slow down the extinction process. Although languages are becoming endangered mainly because the younger generations don’t want to use it and the best way to revitalize a language is to useit in daily life by more and more people, but it is not appropriate to ask, torequire people to do that as an obligatory if they don’t want（to）. What the government should do is to tell the people how important it is to keep their mother language and their culture, to help them to educate their children in their endangered language if they need, to help historians and linguists torecord the stories and cultures of the dying languages for further study, and to accelerate and encourage the translation of canon literature from dying languages to other frequently used languages in order to share and best use of the dying language and its culture for all the human beings.

最后以对政府的建议结尾。觉得结尾段写的没有前面的好。句子长了点，而且感觉就是想把所有的事情都说清楚而导致有些啰嗦。比如说中间although那一句，我觉得就没有必要写得那么多了。首先部分内容和前面有重复，其次这样说了究竟是想支持文中的哪一个论点呢？我觉得针对前面的论述提出一两点解决方案即可，毕竟解决方案这一块也不是题目的重点。




嗯，终于评完了。真的，这不能叫改，只能叫评了。我已经放弃了在你的文章里面找语法错误。。。
这篇文章总体来看思路清晰，论证基本上做到了环环相扣，而且有一定的深度，比上篇文章好多了。哎，就是很好很好啦。。

不过我觉得，在语言丧失这一块，最大的损失其实应该是一个民族的文化，包括文字资料和图像资料，以及他们口耳相传的经验、故事、神话等东西。现代社会中之所以会出现弱势民族弱势语言大多是由于生产力不发达所导致的，但是我们不能因为其经济上的差距而忽视其文化的价值，毕竟文化是积累而成的，即使是千百年前的文明对现在仍然是有启发意义的。而且就算是小民族偏远地区，他们对世界的认识他们对人生的思考也是有助于人类文明史之类的东西的研究的，而且说不定还会给我们以启发。只是这个到底有多大的价值很难考究而且这个东西本来就很难说清，我看文章中对这一点是采取的回避态度，没有提及，但是这一点如果说好了文章肯定会更有深度及说服力的。

heliappleUID: 2621347

你说的对，但是就是因为这一点对我而言太大太深刻，我很难掌握它。而且文化的传承真的是很不好说，每一种语言的灭绝都让人很悲伤，但是就好像对待逝者一样，我们不舍，却无能为力。如果把政府作为医者，那么他们能做的也只是延缓病程，却不能根治死亡。诚然，失去任何一种文化确实都是损失，但是关键是世界上那么多种出于危险边缘的小语种，要将他们全部完整保护起来会花很多代价，金钱，人力上的投入会非常大。而且保护一种语言使其濒临灭绝的最好办法就是在一个社会里使用它，但是这要求更加多的投入和每个人的理解和政府及其大的重视。而问题是政府能够这样做吗？就算这样做了人们会接受吗？

而且人类社会还有很多没有解决的问题，而且更加关心到国际民生，在财力物力的投入上更需要倾向。所以这个问题就有些复杂了，到底应该照顾哪个呢，孰轻孰重呢？

我的脑袋实在处理不了这些问题了，所以我就基本没有触及。所以整个文章还是显得很浅薄。唉