0910G [Just do it]Argument173by二月蓝

二月蓝UID: 2643877

0910G [Just do it]ARGUMENT173  
09-06-07 字数统计493
    The memo concludes that Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on their magazine covers. To bolster this assertion the memo points out that the poorest-selling magazine featured international news stories on their covers and their foreign bureaus increase the cost on international news. The memo also cites a contrast between Newsbeat and news magazines. However, although the conclusion sounds indeed reasonable at first thought, a series of unsubstantiated assumptions and several logical flaws may seriously undermine this memo.
    First of all, the memo deduces that the magazines that featured international news stories on their front covers would get a poor-selling from an indagation that the poorest-selling magazine issues use international news on their covers. There are two logical flaws here. Firstly, although the poorest-selling magazine use international news on their cover, it can’t infer that all the magazines with international-news-cover will get a poor-selling. Samples couldn’t represente a whole. For example, basketball players are all higher but not all the higher are basketball players. The basketball players are a sample and display some characteristic of a whole. However, not all the members of the whole have the characteristic of the sample. Secondly, the reasons that result in the poorest-selling in the memo may not the main causation. The content, quantities of press, price and so forth could also influence the selling. The memo fails to provide any information that the international news stories on the cover would lead the poorest-selling the most in all causations.
    Moreover, the survey cited by the memo is too vague to be informative. Firstly, the memo doesn’t show the results by decreasing the number of the cover stories that they devote to international news, so it can’t deduce that Newsbeat could increase the selling by doing the same thing as the news-magazines. Secondly, the memo doesn’t display the reason why the news-magazines decrease the number of international news on cover. They may use more fancies news on the cover to attract the public, however, this can’t represent that the international news don’t grateful or even lead a poor-selling.
    Finally, the memo mentions that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. This content can’t represent anything entirely. Everything changes quickly every day and the price is higher and higher. So the cost, which includes the cost of machines, the salaries and so on, increases rapidly. On the other hand, we may estimate that the leaders would find the international news more useful than the other parts from the increasing cost.
    To sum up, the conclusion lack credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to what the memo maintains. To strengthen the memo, the arguer would have to provide us more evidence regarding the aim and the results of decreasing the number of international news on covers, the correlation between increasing the cost and decreasing emphasis on the international news.

leopard2009UID: 2596872

The memoconcludes that Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on internationalnews and refrain from displaying international stories on theirmagazine covers. To bolster this assertion the memo points out that thepoorest-selling magazine featured international news stories on theircovers and their foreign bureaus increase the cost on internationalnews. The memo also cites a contrast between Newsbeat and other newsmagazines. However, although the conclusion sounds indeed reasonable atfirst thought, a series of unsubstantiated assumptions and severallogical flaws may seriously undermine this memo.
根据imong的帖子，他好像认为不需要对于文章复述过多。我觉得第一段复述多了，可否把一二句话合成一句话表达哈。
    First of all, the memodeduces that the magazines that featured international news stories ontheir front covers would get a poor-selling from an indagation that thepoorest-selling magazine issues use international news on their covers.There are two logical flaws here. Firstly, although the poorest-sellingmagazine use international news on their cover, it can’t infer that allthe magazines with international-news-cover will get a poor-selling.Samples couldn’t represente a whole. For example, basketball playersare all higher but not all the higher are basketball players. Thebasketball players are a sample and display some characteristic of awhole. However, not all the members of the whole have thecharacteristic of the sample. Secondly, the reasons that result in thepoorest-selling in the memo may not the main causation. The content,quantities of press, price and so forth could also influence theselling. The memo fails to provide any information that theinternational news stories on the cover would lead the poorest-sellingthe most in all causations.
    Moreover, the surveycited by the memo is too vague to be informative. Firstly, the memodoesn’t show the results by decreasing the number of the cover storiesthat they devote to international news, so it can’t deduce thatNewsbeat could increase the selling by doing the same thing as thenews-magazines. Secondly, the memo doesn’t display the reason why thenews-magazines decrease the number of international news on cover. Theymay use more fancies\fancy news on the cover to attract the public, however,this can’t represent that the international news don’t grateful\这是什么意思哈 or evenlead a poor-selling.
    Finally, the memomentions that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to reporton international news is increasing. This content can’t representanything entirely. Everything changes quickly every day and the priceis higher and higher.什么意思哈 So the cost, which includes the cost of machines,the salaries and so on, increases rapidly. On the other hand, we mayestimate that the leaders would find the international news more usefulthan the other parts from the increasing cost.什么意思哈？
这一段写的没有上面两段好，可以好好想想怎么改哈
    To sum up, theconclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysisdoesn’t lend strong support to what the memo maintains. To strengthenthe memo, the arguer would have to provide us more evidence regardingthe aim and the results of decreasing the number of international newson covers, the correlation between increasing the cost and decreasingemphasis on the international news.
最后一段写的不错哈
整体不错，二月蓝，就是第四段需要好好改改

二月蓝UID: 2643877

谢谢你的表扬，最后一段是模板。。。。。。。。。

二月蓝UID: 2643877

The memo concludes that Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on their magazine covers. To bolster this assertion the memo shows the poorest-selling and increasing cost on international news. The memo also cites a contrast between Newsbeat and other
newsmagazines. However, although the conclusion sounds indeed reasonable at first thought, a series of unsubstantiated assumptions and several logical flaws may seriously undermine this memo.
    First of all, the memo deduces that the magazines that featured international news stories on their front covers would get a poor-selling from an in dagation that the poorest-selling magazine issues use international news on their covers. There are two logical flaws here. Firstly, although the poorest-selling magazine use international news on their cover, it can’t infer that all the magazines with international-news-cover will get a poor-selling. Samples couldn’t represent a whole. For example, basketball players are all higher but not all the higher are basketball players. The basketball players are a sample and display some characteristic of a whole. However, not all the members of the whole have the characteristic of the sample. Secondly, the reasons that result in the poorest-selling in the memo may not the main causation. The content, quantities of press, price and so forth could also influence the selling. The memo fails to provide any information that the international news stories on the cover would lead the poorest-selling the most in all causations.
    Moreover, the survey cited by the memo is too vague to be informative. Firstly, the memo doesn’t show the results by decreasing the number of the cover stories that they devote to international news, so it can’t deduce that Newsbeat could increase the selling by doing the same thing as the news-magazines. Secondly, the memo doesn’t display the reason why the news-magazines decrease the number of international news on cover. They may use more fancy news on the cover to attract the public, however, this can’t represent that the international news aren’t attractive.
    Finally, the memo mentions that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. This content can’t represent anything entirely. Inflation results in higher price. So the cost on pressing the magazines, which includes the cost of machines, the salaries of the workers and so on, increases rapidly. On the other hand, we may estimate that the leaders may prefer spending more money on the international news because they’re very attractive.
    To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to what the memo maintains. To strengthen the memo, the arguer would have to provide us more evidence regarding the aim and the results of decreasing the number of international news on covers, the correlation between increasing the cost and decreasing emphasis on the international news.

二月蓝UID: 2643877

    The memo concludes that Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on their magazine covers. To bolster this assertion the memo shows the poorest-selling and increasing cost on international news. The memo also cites a contrast between Newsbeat and other newsmagazines. However, although the conclusion sounds indeed reasonable at first thought, a series of unsubstantiated assumptions and several logical flaws may seriously undermine this memo.
    First of all, the memo deduces that the magazines that featured international news stories on their front covers would get a poor-selling from a consequence that the poorest-selling magazine issues use international news on their covers. There are two logical flaws here. Firstly, although the poorest-selling magazine use international news on their cover, it can’t infer that all the magazines with international-news-cover will get a poor-selling. Samples couldn’t represent a whole. For example, basketball players are all higher but not all the higher are basketball players. The basketball players are a sample and display some characteristic of a whole. However, not all the members of the whole have the characteristic of the sample. Secondly, the reasons that result in the poorest-selling in the memo may not the main causation. The content, quantities of press, price and so forth could also influence the selling. The memo fails to provide any information that the international news stories on the cover would lead the poorest-selling the most in all causations.
    Moreover, the survey cited by the memo is too vague to be informative. Firstly, the memo doesn’t show the results by decreasing the number of the cover stories that they devote to international news, so it can’t deduce that Newsbeat could increase the selling by doing the same thing as the news-magazines. Secondly, the memo doesn’t display the reason why the news-magazines decrease the number of international news on cover. They may use more fancy news on the cover to attract the public, however, this can’t represent that the international news aren’t attractive.
    Finally, the memo mentions that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. This content can’t represent anything entirely. Inflation results in higher price. So the cost on pressing the magazines, which includes the cost of machines, the salaries of the workers and so on, increases rapidly. On the other hand, we may estimate that the leaders may prefer spending more money on the international news because they’re very attractive.
    To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to what the memo maintains. To strengthen the memo, the arguer would have to provide us more evidence regarding the aim and the results of decreasing the number of international news on covers, the correlation between increasing the cost and decreasing emphasis on the international news.
第二节我的意思是，MEMO由销量差的杂志封面都登了国际新闻而推出封面登国际新闻的杂志都会销量差，这点有逻辑错误。那些封面登国际新闻而且销量差的杂志只是一个样本，不能推论出凡是封面登国际新闻都会销量差。就好比，篮球运动员都是高个，但是高个不一定都打篮球。篮球运动员只能是高个的一个样本，他们都有高个子这个特质。

zmjxf2008UID: 2597395

The memo concludes that Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on their magazine covers. To bolster this assertion the memo shows the poorest-selling and increasing cost on international news. The memo also cites a contrast between Newsbeat and other newsmagazines. However, although the conclusion sounds indeed reasonable at first thought, a series of unsubstantiated assumptions and several logical flaws may seriously undermine this memo. (开头挺规范的，不过感觉不是很吸引人）
    First of all, the memo deduces that the magazines that featured international news stories on their front covers would get a poor-selling from a consequence that the poorest-selling magazine issues use international news on their covers. There are two logical flaws here. Firstly, although the poorest-selling magazine use international news on their cover, it can’t infer that all the magazines with international-news-cover will get a poor-selling. Samples couldn’t represent a whole. For example, basketball players are all higher but not all the higher are basketball players. The basketball players are a sample and display some characteristic of a whole. However, not all the members of the whole have the characteristic of the sample. Secondly, the reasons that result in the poorest-selling in the memo may not the main causation. The content, quantities of press, price and so forth could also influence the selling. The memo fails to provide any information that the international news stories on the cover would lead the poorest-selling the most in all causations.（第一个驳的确实不是很好理解，看懂了觉得驳的不错，看不懂就有些不知所云了）
    Moreover, the survey cited by the memo is too vague to be informative. Firstly, the memo doesn’t show the results by decreasing the number of the cover stories that they devote to international news, so it can’t deduce that Newsbeat could increase the selling by doing the same thing as the news-magazines. Secondly, the memo doesn’t display the reason why the news-magazines decrease the number of international news on cover. They may use more fancy news on the cover to attract the public（个人觉得这个反例举的不是很恰当，最好避开新闻种类的问题在其他方面找反例）, however, this can’t represent that the international news aren’t attractive.
    Finally, the memo mentions that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. This content can’t represent anything entirely. Inflation results in higher price. So the cost on pressing the magazines, which includes the cost of machines, the salaries of the workers and so on, increases rapidly. On the other hand, we may estimate that the leaders may prefer spending more money on the international news because they’re very attractive.
    To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to what the memo maintains. To strengthen the memo, the arguer would have to provide us more evidence regarding the aim and the results of decreasing the number of international news on covers, the correlation between increasing the cost and decreasing emphasis on the international news.
改过几遍后感觉问题已经不是很多了，就是感觉有些地方解释的不够有力，我用蓝色标出来再斟酌斟酌。

zmjxf2008UID: 2597395

不好意思改的有些晚了，昨天晚上校园网上不了，今天去机房改的~

zmjxf2008UID: 2597395

不好意思改的有些晚了，昨天晚上校园网上不了，今天去机房改的~

二月蓝UID: 2643877

感谢，我自己修改下，再看看别人写的