Issue144 =So What=小组第3次作业 by 米丽水

米丽水UID: 2637300

素材搜集

米丽水UID: 2637300

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 303
TIME: 00:44:27
DATE: 2009-6-8 22:01:29
Outline：
1 agree or disagree 对题目分析，提出观点
2 what is lasting value？什么是永久价值？
3what of lasting value do artists give to the society?艺术家对社会究竟有哪些永久价值？它们分别有什么意义？
4the critic still has their role in the lasting value.批评家对社会也有价值
5 conclusion结论

米丽水UID: 2637300

The author asserts that the artist rather than the critic gives society something of lasting value. In my view, both of them contribute lasting value to our society.
First, lasting value is something that can convey some meaningful messages by generations after generations and never fade. In this sense, many artists have left us a lot of such a precious thing. Great musicians created so many well-known pieces of music that it now still amazes us and ecourages us the time we hear it. They brought us to experience the old days again when people of that time lived in a less developed world and gave us a hint on how they feel like the life and how they went through the hard times so we gained strength and overcome the difficulties. Great film makes and painting drawers and singers and so on, they all endowed us with a better understanding of the world. It is these measures that conduct us forward with progress and joy.
However, the critic's role can not be ignored in keeping these lasting values. It is true that they only depress the artist, which even destroys his work. But it is they who attract the audience’s attention and guide them to think deeply of the art work and then value it. Without them, maybe a great vast of valuable works will be buried or destroyed since the majority of people did know about their preciousness.
In all, the artist creates the great works while the critic discovers their flaws and merits and then introduce into the mass of people who may realize their value and pass down them to generations. We now see many critics exist and study the modern art and then criticize on it, can't they be accepted as a master of lasting value for the future generations?

ZhouPYFUID: 2633778

The author asserts that the artist rather than the critic gives society something of lasting value. In my view, both of them contribute lasting value to our society.

First, lasting value is something that can convey some meaningful messages by generations after generations and never fade. In this sense, many artists have left us a lot of such a precious thing（这句话听起来很拗口，many artists have left us such a lot of precious things ）. Great musicians created so many well-known pieces of music that it (it 指代well known pieces 吧是不是应该复数)now still amazes us and encourages us the time we hear it. They brought us to experience the old days again when people of that time lived in a less developed world and gave us a hint on how they feel like the life and how they went through the hard times so we gained strength and overcome the difficulties. Great film makes and painting drawers and singers and so on, they all endowed us with a better understanding of the world. It is these measures that conduct us forward with progress and joy.

However, the critic's role can not be ignored in keeping these lasting values. It is true that they only depress the artist, (only depress? 是不是太绝对了，改成may是不是好一点)which even destroys his work. But it is they （but it is the critic在it is后面加代词不是很常见阿）who attract the audience’s attention and guide them to think deeply of the art work and then value it. Without them, maybe a great vast of valuable works will be buried or destroyed since the majority of people did know about their preciousness.

In all, the artist creates the great works while the critic discovers their flaws and merits and then introduce into the mass of people who may realize their value and pass down them to generations. We now see many critics exist and study the modern art and then criticize on it, can't they be accepted as a master of lasting value for the future generations?（反问式的结尾有待商榷）

字数是不是超过400比较好，在写批评家那段是不是可以举个例子，全篇没有一个具体的实例，都是描述性的论证
整篇的句子读起来很舒服，功底不错

mqi07UID: 2521740

The author asserts that the artist rather than the critic gives society something of lasting value（复述的很好）. In my view, both of them contribute lasting value to our society.
First, lasting value is something that can convey some meaningful messages by generations after generations（按理说 by。。。前面应该是被动吧 而且 与其说lv能传递message,不如说它是message的carrier，是否更好） and never fade(fades). In this sense, many artists have left us a lot of such a precious thing(a lot of 后面跟a thing? 似乎不合理   ). Great musicians created so many well-known pieces of music that it(they: pieces) now still amaze(s) (好词 学习) us and ecourage（s） us the time （此处应该加when，因为不是可以省略that的定语从句,应该为时间状语从句）we hear it. They brought(为什么用过去时呢) us to experience the old days again when people（ of that time去掉） lived in a less developed world and gave us a hint on how they feel（felt） like（feel like 想要？） the life and how they went through the hard times so we gained（过去时？） strength and overcome the difficulties. Great film（可数名词+s） makes and painting drawers and singers and so on, they all endowed（还是觉得用现在时好）（endow 好词） us with a better understanding of the world. It is these measures that conduct us forward with progress and joy（measure似乎不当，用experience是否更好）.
However, the critic's role can not be ignored in keeping these lasting values（好句子，简洁有力）. It is true that they（注意单复数，前面用的是critic） only depress the artist, which even destroys his work（这句应该去掉only否则你的观点就不是中立的了，与后面的展开矛盾）. But it is they who attract the audience’s attention and guide them to think deeply of the art work and then value it（很不错的论点 学习）. Without them, maybe a great vast of valuable works will be buried or destroyed since the majority of people did（否定吧 应该） know about their preciousness.（最后这句也是好句子）
In all（比in sum用的少，挺好的）, the artist creates the great works while the critic discovers their flaws and merits（正反都有，而且词汇很赞） and then introduce（单复数问题！而且 introduce在此应该是及物动词） into the mass of people who may realize their value and pass down them to generations（要么用表示后代的词 要么用 from generation to generation）. We now see many critics exist and study the modern art and then criticize on it(see many critics exist 是什么意思？), can't they be accepted as a master of lasting value for the future generations（问句结尾，不确定，研究一下）?

小水的很多用词不错 值得学习
从提纲上看结构上也没什么问题  
但语言上较薄弱，而且只是通篇讲理，没有实例，目前的阶段还是多用些例子比较好

zhenyi2000UID: 2640146

The author asserts that (it is加一个强调会好一点)the artist rather than the critic gives society something of lasting value. In my view, both of them contribute lasting value to our society.首段作者的评述太过简单了
First, lasting value is something that can convey some meaningful messages by generations after generations and never fade. In this sense, many artists have left us a lot of such a precious thing. Great musicians created so many well-known pieces of music that it now still amazes us and ecourages us the time we hear it. They brought us to experience（这里能用experience么  感觉用recount 会好一些） the old days again （这里的again 做何解释）when people of that time lived in a less developed world and gave us a hint on how they feel like the life and how they went through the hard times so we gained strength and overcome the difficulties. （这句话太过冗长了限制了意思的表达）Great film makes makers and painting drawers and singers and so on, they all endowed us with a better understanding of the world. It is these measures that conduct us forward with progress and joy.
However, the critic's role can not be ignored in keeping these lasting values.（这句话作为TS似乎有些不妥 critics 不是keeping the lasting values ） It is true that they only depress the artist, which even destroys his work. (这句话有点一棍子打死的感觉)But it is they who attract the audience’s attention and guide them to think deeply of the art work and then value it. Without them, maybe a great vast of valuable works will be buried or destroyed since the majority of people did know about their preciousness.
In all, the artist creates the great works while the critic discovers their flaws and merits and then introduce into the mass of people who may realize their value and pass down them (pass them down)to generations. We now see many critics exist and study the modern art and then criticize on it, can't they be accepted as a master of lasting value for the future generations?

总结：
1.   作者的论证清晰，但语言有待加强。
2.   作者的论述太过平淡了。