[trbest]issue 144by 442371236

442371236UID: 2636160

144"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value." *a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
中文提纲：1 ：artist和critic都给社会创造了有永久价值的东西。（亮明自己的观点。）
         2：什么是对社会有永久价值的东西。
         3：论证artist和critic都能给社会创造持久性价值。
         4：总结所论证，并重申自己的观点。
   Artist and critic ,generally, are acknowledged as two very opposite sorts of person. Artist is supposed to view something in a common way if not  positive ,while critic is just the way round, who always keeps a critical point of view. Historically, it is proved that artist and critic both have created something of lasting value to our society, since sometimes truth does not always lies in the majority.
     What has lasting value to our society? An air-condition？A washing machine? How about a computer? As i see it ,all of these are not capable of such a title,since they all can be replaced by a more advanced staff which can release us much more in the future. For example, It is not practical we are to forever rely on a air-condition to keep a ideal temperature in our rooms, despite of the ever increasing development of technology. Naturally, we come to think of something abstract such as spirit and constructive ideas, which have influenced people and our society for a long time and will continue in future.
     When still in our childhood, We were usually told " practise makes perfect" once we got impatient with the monotonous simple work which is essential to acquire a complicated skill,such as practising substantial  basic painting to be a good painter. And the saying " practise makes perfect"shown by a famous painting artist named Darwin,who made his career by drawing an simple egg again and again, have indeed encouraged many people to keep on the annoying task and become someone at last. Regardless of the final result ,the saying has pushed lots of people to continue their work and pursuing their own dream forming a good atmosphere in our society. Nevertheless, it does not necessarily mean that all the things of lasting value to our society are created by artist. We should be informed that critic is who ,compared with artist, prefers to think in a distinct angle,which is not incorrect and unpractical as people usually think,and they are also supposed to put forward some constructive ideas and form something of great value to our society. It goes without saying that the majority does not always hold the truth firmly in hand ,conversely, the minor who keeps a critical point of view are sometimes more likely to hold the truth. For instance, the unchangeable "truth "that the earth is plain was widely acknowledged by the world wide,except Columbus and some his fellow friends who lately had accompanied Columbus changed the unchangeable "truth" and demonstrated the real truth ,the earth is actually round. It is possible that the critic maybe the less person who see things out of the box and make rational choices,while the majority are trapped in it and make the same partial decision according to what they see and consider. Just like some problems may be brought by building SanXia Gorge are not considered by the designers since they prefer to think in a favorable way,and many people only consider the substantial benefits it brings after it is built. It is the critics who propose some constructive suggestions that avoid some major consequences it may cause.
   In general, both artist and critic have given society something of lasting value. They are just two kinds of person who prefer to view things in a relatively different angel,and both of which are supposed to bring great values to our society.

cooljcqUID: 2498528

Artist and critic, generally, are acknowledged as two very opposite sorts of person（person用法对吗）. Artist is supposed to view something in a common way if not positive（这句话没读懂，好像有错误）, while critic is just the way round（这个用法我在百度里也没搜到，是不是我不知道的用法）, who always keeps a critical point of view. Historically, it is proved that artist and critic both have created something of lasting value to our society, since sometimes truth does not always lies in the majority（这两句因果关系成立吗）.     （第一段值得学习的地方就是没有重复观点，而直接切入主题，但是不太明确）
What has lasting value to our society?（这句话完整吗？） An air-condition？A washing machine? How about a computer? As i see it, all of these are not capable of such a title, since they all can be replaced by a more advanced staff which can release us much more in the future. For example, It is not practical we are to forever rely on a air-condition to keep a ideal temperature in our rooms, despite of the ever increasing development of technology. Naturally, we come to think of something abstract such as spirit and constructive ideas, which have influenced people and our society for a long time and will continue in future.（这段完全跑题了啊，都没有切入主题）
     When still in our childhood, We were usually told " practise makes perfect" （断句）once we got impatient with the monotonous simple work which is essential to acquire a complicated skill,such as practising substantial  basic painting to be a good painter.（感觉这句话是有问题） And the saying " practise makes perfect"shown by a famous painting artist named Darwin,who made his career by drawing an simple egg again and again, have indeed encouraged many people to keep on the annoying task and become someone at last. Regardless of the final result ,the saying has pushed lots of people to continue their work and pursuing （前后一致吗）their own dream forming a good atmosphere in our society. Nevertheless, it does not necessarily mean（注意这个用法对不对） that all the things of lasting value to our society are created by artist. We should be informed that critic is who ,compared with artist, prefers to think in a distinct angle,which is not incorrect and unpractical as people usually think,and they are also supposed to put forward some constructive ideas and form something of great value to our society.（如此长的一句话，能不出错吗，希望能引起重视） It goes without saying that the majority does not always hold the truth firmly in hand ,conversely, the minor who keeps a critical point of view are sometimes more likely to hold the truth.（这个跟你论证的主题好像没什么关系） For instance, the unchangeable "truth "that the earth is plain was widely acknowledged by the world wide,except Columbus and some his fellow friends who lately had accompanied Columbus changed the unchangeable "truth" and demonstrated the real truth ,the earth is actually round.（又是很长的一句话，而且你论证的主题慢慢的跑到别的地方去了） It is possible that the critic maybe the less person who see things out of the box and make rational choices, while the majority are trapped in it and make the same partial decision according to what they see and consider. Just like some problems may be brought by building SanXia Gorge are not considered by the designers since they prefer to think in a favorable way,and many people only consider the substantial benefits it brings after it is built. It is the critics who propose some constructive suggestions that avoid some major consequences it may cause.（完全跑题了）
   In general, both artist and critic have given society something of lasting value. They are just two kinds of person who prefer to view things in a relatively different angel,and both of which are supposed to bring great values to our society.
综述，本篇文章基本上就是跑题了，没有切入主题，希望你能够好好的审题，花点时间审题甚至比盲目的写作重要的很多，再者你这整片文章里好像就由那么几个长长长长的句子组成，语法错误当然比较严重，希望能够引起你的注意。
有说的严重的地方还请多包涵！