[Try best] 第二次作业 argument 65 by 442371236

442371236UID: 2636160

      

65.The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

       As it stands that the president want to increase profits by concentrating primarily on domestic cheeses and discontinuing stock many other imported cheeses according to the last year’s experence and a suvery. It seems prospectful and practical,while some homework still remains to be done. The argument is flawed in following respects.

         Firstly, the customers may be more likely to partronize a store offering a variety of cheese to choose from. People have different favors. It is possibli that many of the customers come to the store just for that reasom. If the stores stop offering imported cheeseand concentrating primarily on domestic cheeses as showed above,they will make the store nothing particular compared with other stores. Then people don’t have a special reason to choose the store istead of others, Thus the srores will loss lots of customers ,expecially those who frequently change their favors. Naturally ,the profit is surely to be cut.

Secondly, the last year’s experence is not enough to show so much as to make such a major decision. it says that ,in last year,the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin ,how about the year before the last year and three years ago or more. People’s favors change. Prefering domestic flavor this year does not necessarily mean they will keep their choice the next year. And it perhaps wisconsin just particularlly produced several kinds of cheddar cheeses which they had planed for many years. Who can guatantee that there are enough specials on sale everyear or every two years in the future,and it is anybody’s guess whether the later products are such appealing to people as the cheddar cheeses. It may also be possibe that the top several kinds of cheeses sells more or less, despite the top five are domestic ,the following best-selling perhaps are imported. The imported cheese may even takes up a larger proporation in the overall cheeses sold. If it does not , the sale of domestic cheesesis is likely to be influenced accounting for refraining the sale of imported cheeses. Thus ,it is unwise to do so since so many questions remains to be solved.
   
Thirdly, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicating an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers may be imcomplete. As we all known, if the pool of the survery is not large enough, the conclusion shows little if not nothing. And an increasing preference for domestic cheeses does not necessarily mean that the domestic cheeses occupies a larger proportion in cheese market and the imported cheeses are overwhelmly lose the market battle. Perhaps the truce is just on the contrary. Thus stoping the sale of imported cheeses will surely have a profound impact on the overall sale of cheeses. No wonder the profits will be largely decreased. It is also likely that the subscribers are mainly the people in one region, who can’t stand for a mainstream trend among the nationwide. Since it have a chain of stores located throughout the country, apparently , it is unwise to increase the profit of one store in the sacrifice of the major profits from the others.

In sum ,as it stands the argument is not well supported. To make a rational choice which can really increase the president search for more information about the sale of cheeses in the past years ,people’s ever changing favor and the profits of selling imported and domestic cheeses and so forth. And a period of testing the new reform is essential to serves as a buffer, which can also check whether the reform is to continue.

nlhustUID: 2404239

As it stands that the president want to increase profits by concentrating primarily on domestic cheeses and discontinuing stocking many other imported cheeses according to the last year’s experence anda suvery.(句子不完整，没找到主语。可以把that去掉再加逗号)
It seems prospectful and practical,while some homework stillremains to be done. (Though it seems... ,some homework still...这样感觉逻辑比较清晰)The argument is flawed in following respects.

Firstly, the customers may be more likely to partronize a store offering a variety of cheeses to choose from. People have different favors. It is possibli that many of the customers come to the storejust for that reasom. If the stores stop offering imported cheese and concentrating(concentrate) primarily on domestic cheeses as showed above,they willmake the store (前句的主语是the store，这里的they代指什么？) nothing particular compared with other stores. Thenpeople don’t have a special reason to choose the store istead ofothers, Thus the srores will loss lots of customers ,expecially thosewho frequently change their favors. Naturally ,the profit is surely tobe cut.

多样化的产品导致受欢迎，减少品种可能会减少利润，理由不错

Secondly, the last year’s experence is not enough to show so much as to make such a major decision. it says（it is said） that ,in last year,the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin ,（后面的how about...应该单独成句）how about the year before the last year and three years ago or more. People’s favors change. Prefering domestic flavor this year does not necessarily means they will keep their choice the next year. And it perhaps wisconsin just particularlly produced several kinds of cheddar cheeses which they had planed for many years.Who can guatantee that there are enough specials on sale everyear or every two years（可以写简单一点，比如every year or two） in the future, and it is anybody’s guess whether the later products are such(so) appealing to people as the cheddar cheeses. It may also be possibe that the top several kinds of cheeses sells more or less（看不明白）, despite (加 that) the top five are domestic ,（缺连词）the following best-sellings perhaps are imported. The imported cheeses may even takes up a larger proporation in the overall cheeses sold. If it does not , the sale of domestic cheeses is likely to be influenced accounting for refraining the sale of imported cheeses. Thus ,it is unwise to do so since so many questions remains to be solved.

关于口味随时间变化及imported cheeses可能总体销量更大这两个理由也说的很到位，很好的支持了本段的论点。
   
Thirdly,a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicating an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers may be imcomplete. As we all known（一般现在时）, if the pool of the survery is not large enough, the conclusion shows little if not nothing（information？）. And an increasing preference for domestic cheeses does not necessarily mean that the domestic cheeses occupies a larger proportion in cheese market and the imported cheeses are overwhelmly lose the market battle. Perhaps the truce is just on the contrary. Thus stoping the sale of imported cheeses will surely have a profound impact on the overall sale of cheeses. No wonder the profits will be largely decreased. It is also likely that the subscribers are mainly the people in one region, who can’t stand for a mainstream trend among the nationwide. Since it have a chain of stores located throughout the country, apparently , it is unwise to increase the profit of one store in the sacrifice of the major profits from the others.

In sum ,as it stands（去掉也没有影响） the argument is not well supported. To make a rational choice which can really increase the president search for more information about the sale of cheeses in the past years ,people’s everchanging favor and the profits of selling imported and domestic cheeses and so forth. And a period of testing the new reform is essential to serves as a buffer, which can also check whether the reform is to continue.

总的来说，驳斥了三个点，而且每一个所举的理由都很到位，就是整体的逻辑性还有点混乱，可以顺着原文作者的推理逻辑步步深入的进行批判，这样整篇文章看起来会更加连贯。
另外在语法和表达上还有待提高，善用从句和长句还是很重要的。
再有一点就是写完后自己先检查一遍，有好多拼写错误啊