0910G【Try Best】第二小组 argument101 by CharlesHu

CharlesHuUID: 2638360

The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. Based on the finding of a recent study that subjects who ate soybeans at least five times per week had significantly lower cholesterol levels than subjects who ate no soy products, the president's suggestion to fortify their Wheat-O cereal with soy protein in order to make more profits and be conductive to the health of the customers seems logical.
However, the finding of the study is doubtful. Are the comparison is conducted in the totally same condition? The same condition means the subjects is physically similar and there are no any other different factors existed between the two groups which may affect the outcomes. The president ignored to explain the study more specifically as to more persuasive.
What more, given the cholesterol levels can be lowered by eating more soybeans, we doubt the combined effect of wheat and soy protein. If the wheat increase the cholesterol level, then, the new cereal may have a bad effect to health of people who has a high cholesterol level and could not be favored by the customers.
In conclusion, before any final decisions about fortifying the Wheat-O cereal with soy protein, the president should review the study more carefully to make sure the finding is true and make a further research on the effect of the new combined cereal to make sure its effect on the health of customer.

Stephy_tUID: 2642952

还是字数不够，需要再审题找逻辑错误。
你写到的这两点表述都没什么问题，清晰简洁明了。但是题目的后半部分有逻辑错误没写出来，比如，公司认为这种新产品可以增加利润，可是增加销量不一定增加利润，新产品需要宣传费用，新产品的开发投入需要经费等等。

前两天学校网络中心升级断网了加上期末复习任务太大好久没上网，耽误了改你作业时间。不好意思啊。
我还是建议你先把字数写够再限定时间，没写够说明某些方面没考虑到，可以集思广益看看优秀习作灵感就有了。不能每篇都字数不够，写得再精辟也会出现遗漏要点和解释不清的情况。