issue157 【同主题写作】第六期 by zyp8756

zyp8756UID: 2594775

issue157 by zyp8756




Many people say that there is no purely objective observation, even all of the observation is subjective. This debate has existed over the span of human being history. To some extant, objective and subjective observation live together and can not leave each other, and there is really no absolutely objective observation as they sculpt each other..

Objective observation is the basis of the subjective ones and leads it to go. When our eyes see the same thing, at that moment the objective pictures come into our eyes. While when we brain begin to think about such as "what is the meaning of this sentence?" and "Her wearing today is pretty winning!". The subjective observation floats to the top of the water. We can conclude that objective observation to the subjective ones likes notes of a conference and likes the existence of water to fish which shortage can result in a lack of its order. What is more, it should be conceded that, without objective observation, subjective observation will disappear.

From another perspective, to objective observation, the subjective ones also mean a lot. Objective observation is hard to define since that standard changes following time, individual, area and the forth, so it is necessary to ensure the objective observation definition in diverse conditions that it is the benefit of subjective observation.

What is more, there is not any absolutely subjective and objective observation that both of them are opposite. it can not be called entirety when lacking each of them. When objective observation loses, people’s ideas will fly away. If people see a apple, they can say it is a fish. If see a book, they can say a car. The world will be ridiculous. We can imagine that the aftermath of subjective observation losing. When two persons notice the same car in a shop, one asserts it is cheap. While another say that an expensive car it is. Since the different statues and economy conditions result different consequence.

The relationship between the two observations seems complex, but to survive they sharp each other even boost each other. Firstly, objective observations can lead persons to generally form an individual standard to evaluate the surrounding. As growing, a true world would be presented. Next，as an increasingly growing number of subjective observation, we can generally see the real world. Such as you go around the world and meet diverse people, a host of subjective observations surge in your brain, we can see the truth more and more clearly. But if you
stay in a place in one place and absorb nothing, it is entirely impossible to image to objectively acquire the truth for you. It like in cinema, a beam of light can not better show the frame than myriad of light.

Thus, without doubt, objective and subjective observation live together and rely on each other, and there is really no absolutely objective observation because each of them is the basis to counterpart.

GTBUID: 2652025

红色有问题
蓝色还不错

Many people say that there is no purely objective observation, even all of the observation is subjective. This debate has existed over the span（这个词应该用在两个界限跨度之间，这样用不对，其实去掉span of 就可以了） of human being history. To some extant（这个短语用在表达自己观点的开头感觉很不好，一休要的是对自己立场的坚决肯定和维护，如果说你手段后半句是你的观点的话，前面加个“一定程度上”让人感觉你立场不坚定似的，要是自己的立场都不坚定怎么去说服别人呢？）, objective and subjective observation live together and can not leave each other,（？） and there is really no absolutely objective observation as they sculpt each other...


第一段的简洁以及上来就提出观点我还是很喜欢的，但如果从更完美要求的角度讲，这个开头尤其是前两句并没有给我什么有效信息而且也没能引起我的兴趣，甚至有点废话的感觉。ETS把题目给你提出来就是因为它的复杂性和不确定性，这个不需要再去重复说。


Objective observation is the basis of the subjective ones and leads it to go.（建议这里改一下，it容易让人感觉指代不明，而且这个小分句处理得过于简单，会让人觉得整句话都质量不高）When our eyes see the same thing（典型的chinglish，中文中我们经常说“当我们的眼睛看到XXX”但搁英文里头就不行，只能是tihings进入我们的眼睛，看到things的是我们“人”。也正因为这里中文翻译的思维，写出来的东西就难免显得啰嗦，直接说When we see the same thing不就行了？）, at that moment the objective pictures come into our eyes（我一开始以为你后面就要阐述人看见东西的过程了，结果出现这么个句子，窃以为废话，直接连后面的内容就行了）. While when we brain（这。。。我就不多说了。。。） begin to think about such as "what is the meaning of this sentence?" and "Her wearing today is pretty winning!". The subjective observation floats to the top of the water（不懂）. We can conclude that objective observation to the subjective ones likes notes of a conference and likes the existence of water to fish（这个句式用的不错） which shortage can result in a lack of its order（这个从句，是定语从句？修饰鱼？那又是什么意思？这个order是s什么？）. What is more, it should be conceded that, without objective observation, subjective observation will disappear.


首先我想先说声抱歉，因为你的文法问题太多，结果我基本都没看懂你这段的阐述，只通过TS知道你“想”要说什么，但看下来以后我还是要问“为什么？”而不是恍然大悟的“哦！”
所以请尽量修缮自己的语法和文法。

From another perspective（on the other hand让人看着更舒服地道一些）, to objective observation, the subjective ones（observation是不可数名词） also mean a lot. Objective observation is hard to define（be defined） since that（since用作因为不用加that） standard changes following time（change over sth. 建议不确定的表达法还是查一下字典）, individual, area and the forth（forth只有adv和prep词性，不清楚你想表达什么）, so it is necessary to ensure the objective observation definition in diverse conditions that it is the benefit of subjective observation（so…that…表达的是因果关系，而你这里的叙述是因果？如果不是so..that句型，那这个that是修饰condition的定语从句？那又是什么意思？）

我只能再次致歉，这个文法的不通直接导致很多句子我不理解从而导致你想表达的思想我无法明了，除了通过TS略知你本想表达的意思。

What is more（重复出现，换个说法moreover,furthermore,in addition,again。。。都可以）, there is not any absolutely subjective and objective observation that both of them are opposite（再次看到这种chinglish的句子，老实说，我已经有些怨气了。。。）. it can not be called entirety when lacking each of them（请尽量不要用it，很容易指代不明，这里我就不敢肯定你这个it说的是什么，是obervation么？）. When objective observation loses（observation 自己是不能lose的。。。）, people’s ideas will fly away. If people see a（an）
apple, they can say it is a fish. If see a book, they can say a car. The world will be ridiculous. We can imagine that the aftermath of subjective observation losing（基本语法问题不想再多说了，请自己改正）. When two persons notice the same car in a shop, one asserts it is cheap. While another say that an expensive car it is. Since the different statues and economy conditions result different consequence.

The relationship between the two observations seems complex, but to survive they sharp（请查字典） each other even boost each other. Firstly, objective observations can lead persons to generally form an individual standard to evaluate the surrounding（这句话写完你再看过么？？？）. As growing（不懂）, a true world would be presented. Next，as an increasingly growing number of subjective observation, we can generally see the real world. Such as（请查其用法） you go around the world and meet diverse people, a host of subjective observations surge in your brain, we can see the truth more and more clearly. But if you
stay in a place in one place and absorb nothing, it is entirely impossible to image to objectively acquire the truth for you. It like in cinema, a beam of light can not better show the frame than myriad of light.

Thus, without doubt, objective and subjective observation live together and rely on each other, and there is really no absolutely objective observation because each of them is the basis to counterpart.


请原谅我在你这篇文里没有提任何逻辑连接或文章结构之类的问题，是因为我看不懂你在说什么所以没法儿提。。。改到后面甚至有了不想改的感觉，我比较没耐心真的很抱歉。

但是，如果你的文章竟是这些语法文法错误，而这些错误又往往都是自己修改过程中完全可以避免的，那我改作文这个行为又有什么价值呢？
前段时间逛坛子的时候看到这个。。。。当时引起我的深思，推荐你也看一下

【你真的准备考AW么？？？】

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=962761&extra=page%3D2%26amp%3Bfilter%3Ddigest

另外文中有些话如果说得太重还请见谅，最近末考也搞得自己很烦躁
加油！

zyp8756UID: 2594775

Many people say that there is no purely objective observation, even all of the observations are subjective. This debate has existed over the span of human being history. Objective and subjective observations live together even can not leave other and there is really no absolutely objective observation since they sculpt each other...

Objective observation which lead subjective one to go forward is its basis.
As the saying goes : “There are one thousand different hamlets in one thousand different individuals.” when the same thing falls into our eyes simultaneously, the diverse impression, made by our thinking such as "what is the meaning of this sentence?" and "Her wearing today is pretty winning!", flouts to the top of our thinking. We can conclude that objective observation to the subjective ones that the shortage of objectivity can result in lack of its order likes notes of a conference and likes the existence of water to fish. What is more, it should be conceded that, without objective observation, subjective observation will disappear.

From another perspective, to objective observations, the subjective ones also means a lot. Objective observation is hard to be defined since standard changes following time, individual, area and the forth, so subjective observation can help ensure the objective observation definition in diverse conditions that is the benefit of subjective observation.



Furthermore, there is not any absolutely subjective and objective observation that both of them are opposite. it can not be called entirety when lacking each of them. only one of them can not be called entity. When objective observation is lost, people’s ideas will fly away. If people see an
apple, they can say it is a fish. If see a book, they can say a car. The world will be ridiculous. We can also imagine the aftermath of subjective observation losing. When two persons notice the same car in a shop, one asserts it is cheap. While another says it is an expensive one. Since the different statues and economy conditions result in different consequence.

The relationship between the two observations seems complex, but to survive they shape each other even boost each other. Firstly, objective observations which help an individual standard generally form lead person to evaluate the surrounding. As the number of person own objective observation growing, a true world would be presented. Next，as an increasingly growing number of subjective observation, we can clearly see the real world. As an example, you go around the world and meet diverse people, a host of subjective observations surge in your thinking, we can see the truth more and more obvious. But if you just staying in one place result in absorbing limited knowledge, it is entirely impossible to image to confined objective observation limit your development. It likes cinema, a beam of light can not better show the frame than myriad of light.

Thus, without doubt, objective and subjective observation live together and rely on each other, and there is really no absolutely objective observation because each of them is the basis to counterpart.

银落UID: 2632560

那个。。这篇我可能要晚点改了。。对不起。。考试太紧了。。TT
请见谅哈。。我一定会替你改的。。~

tmytgzzxyUID: 2628459

1# zyp8756

我又修改了一遍 麻烦再帮我看看 谢谢啦 O(∩_∩)O~https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=976783&extra=