[YB-1]7月2日作业 by wangerdai

wangerdaiUID: 2586666

参考了很多，终于磨出来了，不足之处请大家斧正哈
Issue180提纲
1，
应当结合两者
2，支持原来观点，在个人层面上很多道德行为，难以立法执行。A人们会逃避法律b法律也难以判断且难以执行。
3，在企业行为上必须执行,因为如果没有政府立法，企业只会考虑利润而不顾道德因素
4，综合说明
5，小结
Are many laws ineffective in solving society's problems because moral behavior cannot be legislated, as this statement suggests? In response to this issue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically. In a sense, I agree insofar as it relates to constraints on certain personal freedoms. However, when it comes to the conduct of businesses, in my view, moral behavior not only can but must be legislated for the purpose of alleviating societal problems.
First and foremost, there is no denying the fact that most morality laws that impinge about our personal lives simply do not work in a democratic society. People always find different ways to avoid such law. From the history’s lesson, we can find the recognition of equal rights for same-sex partners, and current trends toward legalization of the medical use of marijuana. Besides that, it is difficult to judge whether the moral behaviors are right or wrong, and even some morals are legislated the effect of law has little effect on implement. For example, Constitution of the US claims that “All Men Are Created Equal”, which cannot explain why blacks are treated unequally. In a word, legislating morality merely for morality’s sake simply does not work. So，when it comes to the realm of personal behavior, moral judgment is more effective than the legislation.
Despite the merits of the speaker’s claim, however, I agree with the statement that the behavior of businesses can and must be controlled through legislation in virtue of the factors. Firstly, without legislation, businesses tend to act on behalf of their own financial interests, not the society at large. When the business profits accrue at the expense of public health and safety, it will behave immorally. An appropriate example is not very far to seek. Although tobacco companies have long known about the health hazards of smoking cigarettes, yet they weigh the costs of defending law suits against the profit from cigarette sales, and continue to cater to nicotine addict. Although technology makes possible the complete elimination of polluting emissions of waste water, the factories are unwilling to voluntarily make the short-term sacrifices necessary to accomplish this goal. In short, only government holds the enforcement power to impose the standards needed to ensure moral business behavior,
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the speaker seems to fail to take into account the functions of moral judgment and law, the society will become more order with combination of moral judgment and legal system. Moral judgment should evaluate the moral problems which the laws are not effective to judge. Moral judgment is the basis of our legal system.  On the other hand， some other problems about the business chicanes which have brought about great harm to the society should be enforced by the legal system. Adjusting of moral judgment and law and legal system will play a more effective role in regulating the society order.
From the analysis made above, I commit to the optimal approach that we need to seek a balance and take an all-sided consideration. The problems should be treated individually due to different causes. Only the combination of both moral judgment and legislation will be necessary to ensue public safety and healty.


Argument 51提纲：
1，重新论述题目
2，攻击二次感染会延长肌肉拉伤的病人的恢复时间
3，攻击试验中对象没有介绍以及两个治疗组存在差异
4，攻击抗生素也许有其它副作用
5，小结

In this medical newsletter, the author advocates that taking antibiotics during treatment benefits all patients with muscle strain. To support this conclusion, the arguer cites a study of two groups of people which demonstrates that taking antibiotics can reduce the recuperation time. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. This argument suffers from several critical flaws as follows.

In the first place, the arguer assumes that secondary infectious will delay the recovery of the patients who have severe muscle strain. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers no evidence to substantiate this crucial assumption. There are many possibilities leading to recovery of longer time. An appropriate example is not very far to seek. It is possible that these patients keep on working hard after their injuries, which prevent them from having a quick healing. The arguer's reasoning is definitely flawed unless the arguer can convince me that these and other possible scenarios are unlikely.

In the second place, the result of the study cited in the argument is not reliable. The author does not provide any information about the patients' ages, jobs and conditions of health. It is quite possible that members in the first group are all young men while those in the second group are all old men. Then it is reasonable to expect the first group to recover more quickly. Besides that, the author provides no information about differences in the treatment between the two groups. Perhaps the Dr.Newland is more experienced than the general physician in this aspect. Without accounting for differences between the two groups, the arguer cannot bolster the recommendation.

The Last but not the least. Even if the evidence turns out to support the foregoing assumptions, the arguer just simply assume that the antibiotics do help in expediting the recovery of patients who have severe muscle strain without mentioning other effects of antibiotic. For instance, if taking too much antibiotics may lead to more severe diseases, then we should take them as less as possible.

To sum up, the arguer's argument mentioned above is not based on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly, cite some evidence that is more persuasive, and take every possible consideration into account.

weenbopperUID: 2423595

Are many laws ineffective in solving society's problems only (没有把握好题目的意思)because moral behavior cannot be legislated, as this statement suggests? In the response(可数名词不裸奔,HOHO...) to this issue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically. In a sense, I agree insofar as it relates to constraints on certain personal freedoms. However, when it comes to the conduct of businesses, in my view, moral behavior not only can but must be legislated (有chinglish 之嫌,不大通,建议用标点符号断好句,或者换个说法)for the purpose of alleviating societal problems.

First and foremost, there is no denying the fact that most morality laws that impinge about our personal lives simply does not work in a democratic society. People always find different ways to avoid such law. From the history’s lesson, we can find  the increasing acceptance recognition of equal rights for homosexual same-sex partners, and current trends toward legalization of the medical use of marijuana. Besides that, it is difficult to judge whether the moral behaviors are right or wrong, and even some morals are legislated the effect of law has little effect on implement. (这里没大看明白)For example, Constitution of the US claims that “All Men Are Created Equal”, which cannot explain why blacks are treated unequally. In a word, legislating morality merely for morality’s sake simply does not work. So，when it comes to the realm of personal behavior, moral judgment is more effective than the legislation.

Despite the merits of the speaker’s claim, however, I agree with the statement that the behavior of businesses can and must be controlled through legislation in virtue of the factors. Firstly, without legislation, businesses tend to act on behalf of (代表他们自己的利益?不通吧..)their own financial interests, not the society at large. When the business profits accrue at the expense of public health and safety, it will behave immorally. An appropriate example is not very far to seek. Although tobacco companies have long known about the health hazards of smoking cigarettes, yet they weigh the costs of defending law suits against the profit from cigarette sales, and continue to cater to nicotine addict. Although technology makes possible the complete elimination of polluting emissions of waste water, the factories are unwilling to voluntarily make the short-term sacrifices necessary to accomplish this goal. In short, only government holds the enforcement power to impose the standards needed to ensure moral business behavior,
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the speaker seems to fails to take into account the functions of moral judgment and law, the society will become more order with combination of moral judgment and legal system. Moral judgment should evaluate the moral problems which the laws are not effective to judge. Moral judgment is the basis of our legal system.(同一个主语,建议用长句来表示)  On the other hand， some other problems about the business chicanes which have brought about great harm to the society should be enforced by the legal system. Adjusting of moral judgment and law and legal system will play a more effective role in regulating the society order.
From the analysis made above, I commit to the optimal approach that we need to seek a balance and take an all-sided consideration. The problems should be treated individually due to different causes. Only the combination of both moral judgment and legislation will be necessary to ensue public safety and healty.

1 语法方面MS,没什么问题,但是记得断句,还有用长句要格外小心,分清楚句子成分
2 我觉得最的问题在你point和例子方面有点问题,但是又说不清楚
哎,吹毛求疵了!!!
整体来说很好，很强大...加油加油!!!

weenbopperUID: 2423595

A就分析下观点了
Argument 51提纲：
1，重新论述题目
2，攻击二次感染会延长肌肉拉伤的病人的恢复时间(这里犯了和4一样的错误,带入了自己想当然的信息)
3，攻击试验中对象没有介绍以及两个治疗组存在差异(在文章中,可以多写几个差异,多举几种可能性)
4，攻击抗生素也许有其它副作用(驳斥时只能有基于他的理由或者例子的不合理性,而你加入了新的信息,这在A中是不行的,建议看看官方范文)
5，小结

wangerdaiUID: 2586666

3# weenbopper


谢谢了，虽然花了很多时间看人家写的，然后再自己整理，但是还是觉得很多东西没头绪，特别是例子和论证方面。也需要大家多多帮助了哈