[BY-2]by jackzhenguo 7 3

jackzhenguoUID: 2654215

13 许多世界上鲜为人知的语言由于越来越少的人使用而逐渐消失。使用这些语言的国家政府应该采取措施以防这些语言消失。
提纲：
1、提出论点
2、分析导致语言灭绝的原因。一是殖民者带来的语言使得地方语消失;年轻人追赶时髦，认为其已过时。
3、过渡段
4、相应的措施；保护小语种语言和方言，就必须保护它的领域和空间； 鼓励年轻人学习这些语言，各国的政府采取相应措施。
5、结尾段
正文：
  According a recent survey indicates that the whole world possesseslanguages the number of which is at least 6000 categories.Unfortunately, half of them would extinct in following century, inother words every two weeks one would lose its life. Such an alarm hascaught the notices of scientists and governments of respective countryand is presented to urge them to take actions in order to prevent soprecious legacy from lost in our hands. In my perspective, such deedsare necessary crucial and impending.
First of all, the minor language of one nation or local is unique forthemselves and stands for one of the most important powers for them. Inthe second place, this language not only can not impede other countriesdevelopment, but also is good to those and by this language otherpeople of countries can more realize and study culture of this nation.
Nevertheless, to some extent, the colonizes brought their own languagesto the colonized nation and set it as the official language. Thoughmany of these colonized ones got back their own authority decades ago,the effect on culture and language has lasted till nowadays and theoriginal languages seem to be impossible to be retrieved any more. Onthe other hand, the youth also severe view the traditional languages asout-of-date and obsolete.
Thereby a minor language is such precious for mankind, so whateffective actions government countries should take is a crucial andimpending thing.
Firstly, everyone should acknowledge any minor language is givenlargely wide space and areas. The official languages of countries andEnglish language is so popular in nowadays that one might be notnecessary to rigidly acquire them. Since their spaces and areas hasbeen adequately enlarged, it is time for us to strength the less-knownlanguages.
Secondly, the government should employ some more active methods to givelife to traditional languages and culture. For example, the youngstersshould be encouraged to learn and use local languages as well as theofficial language; they should be educated how to appreciate thevaluables and beauty of their local cultures. In addition, thegovernments have the title to direct to people to take pride in theunique and precious local history, culture and language.
In sum up, every language is one of the pearl in a beautiful necklace,without which not only the beauty but also the integrity is damaged.The governments have a responsibility to prevent any language fromextinction, on the other hand it is also the obligation for every oneof us to comply with the cultures passed down generation by generationand engage in the preservation of cultures.
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  Argument 53
存在问题：
1、        作者并未排除其他可能因素导致婴儿害羞。
2、        Melatonin 分泌过多不一定就导致轻微悲伤。
3、        后一组调查说害羞和悲伤一回事没有依据。
4、        调查样本、数据存在问题。
正文：
   In this argument, the arguer cites infants conceived in early fallare more likely than other ones would naturally increase in response todecreased daylight. Another survey indicates that more than half ofabove children conceived in the early fall have shown signs of distressindentified themselves as shy. Consequently, the arguer draws aconclusion that increased levers of melatonin before birth causeshyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. The
arguer has taken several unfair fallacies.
First of all, the malatonin before birth cause the shyness of infantsand this shyness continues into later life, which is unwarranted atall. Even though the facts in the survey that infants increase reactingto decreased daylight in early fall when their mothers producemelatonin, if this is right, the conclusion that melatonin could loseafter the babies birth. While, the arguer tell little about this.
In the second place, the problem of this argument is the unfoundedcausal relationship between signs of mild distress and shyness. Thearguer only make a arbitrary descion that these signs can cause shynessand in fact distress causes individuals’ physiacls in a bad conditions.When such person meet other equal ones, he/she might shy as a result ofthis codition.
Morever, the arguer can not rule out other factors that might result inthe shyness of infants. In this argument, t he arguer assume thatincreased levels of melatonin before birth lead to shyness, which isunwarranted and unfair. Maybe before birth infants are intacted otherrelative matters or special foods their mothers preference tocontribute on increasing levels of melatonin. But the arguer describeslittle on these factors. Finally, the statistics in the argument areblurry, such as the number of teenagers investigated in the survey, andthe mental conditions, etc.
   In conclusion, if the arguer depicts more relative information inthis argument in order to demonstrate that increased levers ofmelatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shynesscontinues into later life and other questionable points, then theargument would be believable.

lossingzoneUID: 2519545

According a recent survey indicates that the whole world possesses languages the number of which is at least 6000 categories. (我想改为：According to a recent survey, the number of the whole world possesses languages is at least 6000 categories. 或者改为：A recent survey indicates that the number of the whole world possesses languages is at least 6000 categories) Unfortunately, half of them would extinct in the following century, in other words every two weeks one would lose its life. Such an alarm has caught the notices of scientists and governments of respective country and is presented to urge them to take actions in order to prevent so precious legacy from lost in our hands. In my perspective, such deeds are necessary crucial and impending.
First of all, the minor language of one nation or local is unique for themselves and stands for one of the most important powers for them(这句话让人迷惑咯). In the second place, this language not only can not （改为would not吧）impede other countries（countries’） development, but also (这里有点混乱啊)is good to those and by this language other people of countries can more realize and study culture of this nation.
Nevertheless, to some extent, the colonizes（这是动词，殖民者的英文是什么？） brought their own languages to the colonized nation and set it as the official language. Though many of these colonized ones got back their own authority decades ago, the effect on culture and language has lasted till nowadays and the original languages seem to be impossible to be retrieved any more. On the other hand, the youth also severe view the traditional languages as out-of-date and obsolete.
Thereby a minor language is such precious for mankind（这里的逻辑以及上下文承接都不能令人信服啊。上文基本没怎么论述minor language is precious for mankind）, so what effective actions government countries（？？） should take is a crucial and impending thing.
Firstly, everyone should acknowledge any minor language is given largely wide space and areas. The official languages of countries and English language is so popular in（删除） nowadays that one might be not necessary（necessarily） to rigidly acquire them. Since their spaces and areas has-been adequately enlarged, it is time for us to strength the less-known languages.
Secondly, the government should employ some more active methods to give life to traditional languages and culture. For example, the youngsters should be encouraged to learn and use local languages as well as the official language; they should be educated how to appreciate the valuables and beauty of their local cultures. In addition, the governments have the title to direct to people to take pride in the unique and precious local history, culture and language.
In sum up, every language is one of the pearl in a beautiful necklace, without which not only the beauty but also the integrity is damaged. The governments have a responsibility to prevent any language from extinction; on the other hand it is also the obligation for every one of us to comply with the cultures passed down generation by generation and engage in the preservation of cultures.
文章不够有说服力，为什么我们要学那些minor languages?为什么要保护它们？作者并没有给出令人信服的理由。题目中有两个字应该注意：“应当”。为什么应当呢？这需要给出能够说服人的理由的，但作者并没做到。另外在表达上有时难看懂。------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Argument 53
存在问题：
1、        作者并未排除其他可能因素导致婴儿害羞。
2、        Melatonin 分泌过多不一定就导致轻微悲伤。
3、        后一组调查说害羞和悲伤一回事没有依据。
4、        调查样本、数据存在问题。
正文：
   In this argument, the arguer（？什么意思） cites （加上the experience result that ）infants conceived in early fall are more likely than other ones would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. Another survey indicates that more than half of above children conceived in the early fall have shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Consequently, the arguer draws conclusion that increased levers(levels) of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. The arguer has taken several unfair fallacies(用unfair修饰fallacies?).
First of all, (加上the assertion that) melatonin before birth cause the shyness of infants and this shyness continues into later life, which is unwarranted at all. Even though the facts in the survey that infants increase reacting to decreased daylight in early fall when their mothers produce melatonin, if this is right, the conclusion that melatonin could lose after the babies birth., while the arguer tell little about this.
In the second place, the problem of this argument is the unfounded causal relationship between signs of mild distress and shyness. The arguer only make a arbitrary descion(assumption) that these signs can cause shyness and in fact distress causes individuals’ physicals in a bad conditions. When such person meets other equal ones, he/she might (+be) shy as a result of this condition.
Moreover, the arguer can not rule out other factors that might result in the shyness of infants. In this argument, t he arguer assume that increased levels of melatonin before birth lead to shyness, which is unwarranted and unfair. Maybe before birth infants are intacted other relative matters or special foods their mothers’ preference to contribute on increasing levels of melatonin. But the arguer describes little on these factors. Finally, the statistics in the argument are blurry, such as the number of teenagers investigated in the survey, and the mental conditions, etc.
   In conclusion, if the arguer depicts more relative information in this argument in order to demonstrate that increased levers of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life and other questionable points, then the argument would be believable.