[YB-1]7月4号作业 by wangerdai

wangerdaiUID: 2586666

TOPIC: ISSUE25 - "Anyone can make things bigger and more complex. What requires real effort and courage is to move in the opposite direction-in other words, to make things as simple as possible."

Whether making things simple requires greater effort and courage than making them bigger and more complex depends on the sort of effort and courage? In response to this issue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically. From my view, I strongly agree with this assertion. Human beings are living in a complicated circumstance. In order to solve them correctly, an opposite direction of think is needed.
First and foremost, simplifying things is such indispensable in the process of personal success. As for the populaces, they usually think things in a complex way, make things hard to handle and hesitate in pursuing their own goals. One always think about all aspects of one problem may achieve nothing in the end. On the other hand, the success of elites would show their efforts and courage to make things simpler. An appropriate example is not very far to seek. Alexander the Great, who authorized the whole area of ancient Egypt，once faced in a famous question——Gordian Knot, which was described as a touchtone for the future king of that distract. Nobody could solve it, except Alexander the Great. He thought for a while, took his sword and cut that knot. Maybe such a direct way of his thinking played an important role in his success.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, when it comes to the politics and economy, it also calls for effort and courage to make things as simple as possible. Under the situation that the politics and economy are becoming more and more complex, simplification is needed between the countries. Otherwise crisis or dilemmas even wars would occur. A fitting example is U.S. tax-law system. The Internal Revenue Code and its accompanying Treasury Regulations have grown so voluminous and complex that many certified accountants and tax attorneys admit that they cannot begin to understand it all. Admittedly, this system has grown only through considerable effort on the part of all three branches of the federal government, not to mention the efforts of many special interest groups. It requires great effort and courage on the part of a legislator to risk alienating special interest groups, thereby risking reelection prospects, by standing on principle for a simpler tax system that is less costly to administer and better serves the interests of most taxpayers.
In sum, no matter normal person’s success or political, economical development require effort and courage to simplify the complicated conditions. Making things bigger and more complex is of little value for resolving problems and even worsens them. Therefore, just like the speaker maintains, what requires real effort and courage is making things as simple as possible.
想写社会的简单化例子，想来想去也没用想出来，就照搬《北美范文精讲》咯。不知道算抄袭不？




Argument 45
The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

'Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.'


In this argument, the author advocates that because deer are unable to cross the frozen sea, the arctic deer populations are declining. To bolster this conclusion, the author cites reports from local hunters which demonstrate the declination of the deer populations. Moreover, the arguer points that recent global warming trends have lead to the melting of sea ice. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. This argument suffers from several critical flaws as follows.
In the first place, the arguer assumes that the populations of deer are declining. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers not enough evidence to substantiate this crucial assumption but only a vague report from the hunters. However, the result based on the report is not sufficient to draw a general conclusion. Perhaps the hunters only draw this conclusion because they cannot hunt enough deer as they usually do. Or perhaps, because of the bad weather conditions, the change of hunting time and realm, not enough deer can be observed by the hunters.
In the second place, the arguer assumes the global warming trends will lead to the melting of ice, thus the deer will be unable to cross the sea. Nevertheless, the arguer commits a fallacy of misapply generalization; the arguer unfairly assumes that the islands in Canada’s arctic region are typical of national trends. In the other word, the global warming tendency applies specifically to these islands. However, it supplies no evidence whatsoever to substantiate this assumption. For example, perhaps the weather in some parts of our world is becoming much warmer while the weather in these islands still keeps the same. Thus, the above scenario, if true, would undermine the arguer’s conclusion.
      Last but not least, even if the evidences mentioned above turns out to support the foregoing assumptions, the arguer assumes that the weather is the only possible explanation for the decrease of deer population. Yet the argument fails to substantiate this assumption. Common sense informs me that any other factors will lead to the declination of deer. For example, the over slaughter of deer, the decrease of plants which the deer rely on living, and the disease spread among the deer will contribute to the declination of deer.

      In summary, the argument has several flaws which render it logically unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, further investigations and analysis are needed. To persuade me, the author should provide clear evidence to show that the declination of deer. Moreover, to better evaluate the arguer’s claim, we need more information about the weather conditions in this area.

weenbopperUID: 2423595

Whether making things simple requires greater effort and courage than making them bigger and more complex depends on the sort of effort and courage? In response to this issue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically. From my view, I strongly agree with this assertion. Human beings are living in a complicated circumstance. In order to solve them correctly, an opposite direction of think is needed.(好象有点太程式化了点,小心e-rater啊!)

First and foremost, simplifying things is such so indispensable in the process of personal success. As for the populaces, they usually think things in a complex way, make things hard to handle and hesitate in pursuing their own goals. One always think about all aspects of one problem may achieve nothing in the end. On the other hand, the success of elites would show their efforts and courage to make things simpler. An appropriate example is not very far to seek. Alexander the Great, who authorized the whole area of ancient Egypt，once faced in a famous question——Gordian Knot, which was described as a touchtone for the future king of that distract. Nobody could solve it, except Alexander the Great. He thought for a while, took his sword and cut that knot. Maybe such a direct way of his thinking played an important role in his success.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, (和前面的foremost不重复么？???? 用last but not least吧)when it comes to the politics and economy, it also calls for effort and courage to make things as simple as possible. Under the situation that the politics and economy are becoming more and more complex, simplification is needed between the countries. Otherwise crisis or dilemmas even wars would occur. A fitting example is U.S. tax-law system. The Internal Revenue Code and its accompanying Treasury Regulations have grown so voluminous and complex that many certified accountants and tax attorneys admit that they cannot begin to understand it all. Admittedly, this system has grown only through considerable effort on the part of all three branches of the federal government, not to mention the efforts of many special interest groups. It requires great effort and courage on the part of a legislator to risk alienating special interest groups, thereby risking reelection prospects, by standing on principle for a simpler tax system that is less costly to administer and better serves the interests of most taxpayers.

In sum, no matter normal person’s success or political, economical development require effort and courage to simplify the complicated conditions. Making things bigger and more complex is of little value for resolving problems and even worsens them. Therefore, just like the speaker maintains, what requires real effort and courage is making things as simple as possible.


既然你说是北美上的例子,那语法方面也没什么好说的,说说结构吧
1、文章感觉是就是扒下来的，特别是开头程式化，
2、第二个TS中 把你的论证范围confine在政治和经济方面，不免让人觉得你会论证其他方面，而你草草结尾，这样的论证没有公信力，建议你改改TS，然后把政治或经济作为例子来说。
3、建议以后在习作中还是不要照搬别人的例子，习作主要是练习的，多自己想象例子。
4、文章的观点太少，只有两点（如果实在只有两点建议不用finally，直接用in the first place ,in the second place吧），而且如果只有两点在字数方面也有问题吧

weenbopperUID: 2423595

In this argument, the author advocates that because deer are unable to cross the frozen sea, the arctic deer populations are declining. To bolster this conclusion, the author cites reports from local hunters which demonstrate the declination of the deer populations. Moreover, the arguer points that recent global warming trends have lead to the melting of sea ice. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. This argument  in suffering from several critical flaws as follows.

In the first place, the arguer assumes that the populations of deer are declining. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers not enough evidence to substantiate this crucial assumption but only a vague report from the hunters. However, the result based on the report is not sufficient to draw a general conclusion. Perhaps the hunters only draw this conclusion because they cannot hunt enough deer as they usually do. Or perhaps, because of the bad weather conditions, the change of hunting time and realm, not enough deer can be observed by the hunters.
In the second place, the arguer assumes the global warming trends will lead to the melting of ice, thus the deer will be unable to cross the sea. Nevertheless, the arguer commits a fallacy of misapply generalization; the arguer unfairly assumes that the islands in Canada’s arctic region are typical of national wordwide trends. In the other word, the global warming tendency applies specifically to these islands. However, it supplies no evidence whatsoever to substantiate this assumption. For example, perhaps the weather in some parts of our world is becoming much warmer while the weather in these islands still keeps the same. Thus, the above scenario, if true, would undermine the arguer’s conclusion.
      Last but not least, even if the evidences mentioned above turns out to support the foregoing assumptions, the arguer assumes that the weather is the only possible explanation for the decrease of deer population. Yet the argument fails to substantiate this assumption. Common sense informs me that any other factors will lead to the declination of deer. For example, the over slaughter of deer, the decrease of plants which the deer rely on living, and the disease spread among the deer will contribute to the declination of deer.

      In summary, the argument has several flaws which render it logically unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, further investigations and analysis are needed. To persuade me, the author should provide clear evidence to show that the declination of deer. Moreover, to better evaluate the arguer’s claim, we need more information about the weather conditions in this area.

A没什么好改的，写的不错

weenbopperUID: 2423595

In this argument, the author advocates that because deer are unable to cross the frozen sea, the arctic deer populations are declining. To bolster this conclusion, the author cites reports from local hunters which demonstrate the declination of the deer populations. Moreover, the arguer points that recent global warming trends have lead to the melting of sea ice. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. This argument suffers from several critical flaws as follows.
In the first place, the arguer assumes that the populations of deer are declining. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers not enough evidence to substantiate this crucial assumption but only a vague report from the hunters. However, the result based on the report is not sufficient to draw a general conclusion. Perhaps the hunters only draw this conclusion because they cannot hunt enough deer as they usually do. Or perhaps, because of the bad weather conditions, the change of hunting time and realm, not enough deer can be observed by the hunters.
In the second place, the arguer assumes the global warming trends will lead to the melting of ice, thus the deer will be unable to cross the sea. Nevertheless, the arguer commits a fallacy of misapply generalization; the arguer unfairly assumes that the islands in Canada’s arctic region are typical of national trends. In the other word, the global warming tendency applies specifically to these islands. However, it supplies no evidence whatsoever to substantiate this assumption. For example, perhaps the weather in some parts of our world is becoming much warmer while the weather in these islands still keeps the same. Thus, the above scenario, if true, would undermine the arguer’s conclusion.
      Last but not least, even if the evidences mentioned above turns out to support the foregoing assumptions, the arguer assumes that the weather is the only possible explanation for the decrease of deer population. Yet the argument fails to substantiate this assumption. Common sense informs me that any other factors will lead to the declination of deer. For example, the over slaughter of deer, the decrease of plants which the deer rely on living, and the disease spread among the deer will contribute to the declination of deer.

      In summary, the argument has several flaws which render it logically unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, further investigations and analysis are needed. To persuade me, the author should provide clear evidence to show that the declination of deer. Moreover, to better evaluate the arguer’s claim, we need more information about the weather conditions in this area.
A看了下，从观点到词汇等以我的水平来看都不错，没什么好改的

wangerdaiUID: 2586666

4# weenbopper


谢谢楼上哈，可惜Issue现在还是没有思路，所以还属于照搬例子加没啥思路状态，希望自己早日能够开窍