issue170 WDI小组第三次作业

飘飘zlyUID: 2200552

When it comes to signs of a great nation, the speaker focus on general welfare and the achievements of social elites, such as scientists, artists, and rulers. In my opinion, however, both depend on nation greatness, in some extent, taking effect in each other.

The powerful nation always provides a high quality of welfare with their citizens, in order to meet the fundamental needs in people's life and ensure a stable development of a nation. Promoting a general welfare is the effective way to indict the greatness of a nation.
For instance, a nation focus on the public health projects which is beneficial to the public, in order to make citizens a physiological guarantee; a nation pay attentions to the public education in order to enhance the viability of citizenry; a nation emphasis on the infrastructure in order to meet the increasing needs of the public's lives. A nation suffices to meet its citizens' needs of high standard of living, as a result, the populace, in a nation, can strive to the strength of his or her nation and to make a nation great.

By meeting the basic requirement of all people in great nations, the outstanding individuals such as scientists, artists, rulers, in great nations, always promote nation's progress with his or her achievement, and enable his or her nation to be a better place. Obviously, achievements of scientists enhance the general welfare and enable citizen to be comfort and convenience: the scientific inventions, as computers, enable us to learn about the world at home, to communication with others from different countries, and, as the transports, make us to facilitate traveling and commute. The technology improves the productivity of nation, and takes higher effect of living. Mostly, achievements of medical treatment enhance our live span, physiological and physical well-being. Achievements of artists, such as novels, films, paints, dramas and the like, inspire us to learn about human civilizations and cultures, and incite us to appreciate humanity. Achievements of political leaders, so called “rulers”, keep peaceful with other nations to make our own nation stable and secure, safeguarding citizens' safety. The merits of individuals' fruition bring out a better nation with public health, culture richness, advanced technology.

What makes a nation great and powerful is not only general welfare and achievements of well-done individuals, but both. In a modern society, the developed nations supply much more investment to general welfare in order to enable the populace’s to be satisfied with his or her nation. Citizens, under this circumstance, can feel a sense of belonging and acceptance which encourages us to make efforts to our nation. They also might get achievement in certain aspects leading to accelerate a development of our own nation. The accomplishment of nation elites, on the other hand, is representative of advanced productivity, and typical of advanced culture in our nation. Scientists’ achievement indicts a level of scientific and technology; artists’ achievement reflects a development of culture; political leaders’ achievement shows the ability of government. Overall achievements can respond a comprehensive strength of nation.

In sum, the indictor of a great nation is not only the general welfare, but the achievement of its rulers, scientists, artists. The general welfare provides basic materials and meets fundamental needs for citizenry. However, the achievements of social elites impel a nation development.

ken4huoUID: 2416482

When it comes to signs of a great nation, the speaker focus on general welfare and the achievements of social elites, such as scientists, artists, and rulers. In my opinion, however, both depend on nation greatness, in some extent, taking effect in each other.

第一段，表达你是中庸的观点。很简洁。

The powerful nation always provides a high quality of welfare with their citizens, in order to meet the fundamental needs in people's life and ensure a stable development of a nation. Promoting a general welfare is the effective way to indict the greatness of a nation.（主题句） For instance, a nation focus on the public health projects which is beneficial to the public, in order to make citizens a physiological guarantee; a nation pay attentions to the public education in order to enhance the viability of citizenry; a nation emphasis on the infrastructure in order to meet the increasing needs of the public's lives（感觉像半句话，对什么的需要。）. A nation suffices to meet its citizens' needs of high standard of living, as a result, the populace, in a（this） nation, can strive to the strength of his or her nation and to make a nation great.

感觉论证有些和主题句脱节。你写的是welfare可以indicate一个国家的强大，你列了三个并列的welfare举措，但是后面却没有写从这三个举措中怎那么看出这个国家的强大，而是在强调welfare会增加平民建设祖国的积极性。有些擦边球的感觉。。。你可以说这些welfare本身就是经济实力的象征，然后再说它表现了国泰民安。

By meeting the basic requirement （requirements？）of all people in great nations, the outstanding individuals such as scientists, artists, rulers, in great nations, always promote nation's progress with his or her achievement, and enable his or her nation to be a better place.（主谓不一致吧有些） Obviously, achievements of scientists enhance the general welfare and enable citizen to be comfort（comfortable） and convenience: the scientific inventions, as computers, enable us to learn about the world at home, to communication（communicate） with others from different countries, and, as the transports, make us to facilitate traveling and commute（commuting）. The technology improves the productivity of nation, and takes higher effect of living. Mostly, achievements of medical treatment enhance our live span（这是个动词？名词？但肯定不是副词和形容词）, physiological and physical well-being. Achievements of artists, such as novels, films, paints, dramas and the like, inspire us to learn about human civilizations and cultures, and incite us to appreciate humanity. Achievements of political leaders, so called “rulers”, keep peaceful with other nations to make our own （这个还是不要了吧？）nation stable and secure, safeguarding citizens' safety（这个状语是在表哪个的状态？）. The merits of individuals' fruition bring out a better nation with public health, culture richness, advanced technology.

主题句是，精英的成就可以提高人民生活水平。论据也很充分，多个平行论据，但是论据之间的衔接可能不太好，看起来有些乱。感觉这段和总结构有擦边球嫌疑，福利和精英成就之间的关系我没看出来反正。

What makes a nation great and powerful is not only general welfare and（or） achievements of well-done individuals, but both. In a modern society, the developed nations supply much more investment to general welfare in order to enable the populace’s to be satisfied with his or her nation. Citizens, under this circumstance, can feel a sense of belonging and acceptance which encourages us to make efforts to our nation. They also might get achievement in certain aspects leading to accelerate a development of our own nation. The accomplishment of nation elites, on the other hand, is representative of advanced productivity, and typical of advanced culture in our nation. Scientists’ achievement indicts a level of scientific and technology; artists’ achievement reflects a development of culture; political leaders’ achievement shows the ability of government. Overall achievements can respond a comprehensive strength of nation.

这段和上段有些论证重复的感觉。

In sum, the indictor of a great nation is not only the general welfare, but the achievement of its rulers, scientists, artists. The general welfare provides basic materials and meets fundamental needs for citizenry. However, the achievements of social elites impel a nation development

文章完整，但是总体结构不佳。从b3段和b1，b2段的重复就可以感觉到。