7-5 修改Vulpmon

闻风而动UID: 2659321

Do the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals? The speaker believes so. However, on balance, I fundamentally agree with his/her notion that… (类似这样的话，自己随意换方式去表达)+对作者论点逻辑不周全的分析+自己观点 （以下直接进入分析而没有很明确的总论点表达）切记表明自己的立场

As I see ,the reasons why I agree… To a degree, improvement in life means more than sensual pleasure, it also indicates negative life altitude and trend. Not only development of living standard may give birth to luxury and convenience in life, based on daily life it creates people new ideas and thoughts as well. So it is presumable that when living standard reaches a higher stage it may destabilize the basis of conventional habits, which may leads to fragility in personality.角度还有待商榷，建议重新思路。

Although it sounds extremely match the instinct that people always tend to live a serene and high-quality life , the comfortable and cozy life style can actually destroy true humanity. Just as the famous Confucian Mengzi said,” born in bitter, fall in euphoria”, when someone is addicted in sweet and happiness he is likely to lose the sense of competing and he will degenerate. Desires, known as one of the 7 sins, can tear down both corporeal health and spiritual faith. Luxury life often infatuates people with satisfaction which results in a lack of curiosity of beauty around life and losing the interest in pursuing it, with a loss of ambition, which reverses one from becoming a truly strong man to a weakened coward in his whole life. 从而使人们不能做到人性真正的强大和独立。
As more and more new technological inventions which are always declared as an invention that can change our lifestyle are invading into our life, people are exhibiting an increasing dependence on it. We can imagine our ancestor coping with dark night with a candle lit up, but we can’t imagine what would happen when power supply is down. A recent survey shows that children are more addicted in watching TV than last year, and the time they weekly spend on TV is increasing for last ten years. We use pesticide to kill mosquitoes before sleep or we can’t sleep soundly. We use car to travel around or we will be exhausted even taking a 10-minute walk. We use computer or calculator to calculate for us or we can’t even count. A great deal evidences shows us degeneration in independence of personality is in progress while there are a huge number of inventions are making use of and overflowing into our lives.

Despite merits of the speaker’s claim, I still find it problematic in … crucial respects. First,…Secondly,…

In summary, though the comfortable life with luxuries and conveniences is an aim to everyone in the world, the life style is corruptive to both inside and outside, which is tending to erode the belief of competing and hard-working and switch your soul to fragility and hollow. Besides, it is bewitching and enchants people with a loss of independence.