ARGUMENT38 =August Rush=小组第3次作业 by cqyanbo

cqyanboUID: 2515250

38.The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."


我们注意到一种保证可以显著减少学校和工作岗位的缺席的革新疗法。一项研究报告说在附近的East Meria，鱼的消费量很高，那里的人们每年因为治感冒而去看医生的次数只有一或两次。显然，吃较大量的鱼可以预防感冒。由于感冒是学校和单位缺席的最常见原因，我们建议每天服用Ichthaid，一种从鱼油中提炼的营养物质，作为预防感冒和减少缺席率的有效措施。




破题：
1.
EM地区的鱼消耗量高和去医院治感冒的人数少就能推出吃鱼可以预防感冒吗？
a)
人们都习惯自己从药房买点药就治感冒了。去医院费钱也费时间，人们可能不愿意。特别是上班族和学生。
b)
就算人们习惯去医院治感冒。是因为吃鱼而使当地人患感冒的概率小吗？作者没有考虑到气候，环境，或其他食物的影响。


2.
就算吃鱼可以预防感冒，作者提出的Ichthaid和感冒的关系也是可疑的。
a)
作者没有给出确切的证据证明Ichthaid是减少当地感冒率的主要因素。
b)
就算Ichthaid是有减少感冒率的作用，EM地区的鱼中含有多少Ichthaid？作者并没有提及。也许EM当地的鱼中并没有多少Ichthaid元素，是其他元素的影响。


3.
就算EM地区的鱼富含Ichthaid，并且Ichthaid能有效的预防感冒。这个事实对减少学校缺课率能有多少作用还是值得怀疑的。
也许学生缺课只是用感冒作为借口而已。

尾羽UID: 2482591

The author asserts that in order to prevent colds and lower absenteeism in West Meria (WM), residents in WM should eat fish to obtain Ichthaid. To support this assertion, author provides that residents in East Meria (EM) which consume a large number of fish visit the doctor once or twice per year for the treatment of colds; and residents in WM have high absenteeism because of colds. However, points author mentioned are not strong enough to raise author’s assertion.

First of all, （the）author cites result of a study that residents in EM have high fish consumption, simultaneously these residents visit the doctor for colds few times（few表否定吧，time） per year. Although it is seems（it seems） that this result can prove that people can prevent colds from eating fish; if analyzing in more details, this relationship can be broken easily. Author （The author,我觉得要表示前文中出现过的人、事、物，前面应该加the，后面再有这个问题，就不一一改了）does not consider that perhaps residents in EM are used to buy medicine from pharmacies to treat colds themselves, because they does not have enough time to visit the doctor especially officer and students. Author also loses the possibility that even if residents in EM really have low colds rate, this maybe just because of the influence of local environment, climate, or foods other than fish. Either assumption provided above can make this relationship cannot be set up.（我不是很确定，这句话是否有问题，但总觉得can、cannot不太对）

Second, even the result author cited can truly prove eating fish can prevent colds, there is no evidence to illustrate Ichthaid can prevent colds. Author does not provide certain information to prove that Ichthaid is the main factor to lower EM’s colds rates. Otherwise, even if Ichthaid can prevent colds efficiently, there is no data that how much content of Ichthaid an adult or child need that Ichthaid can work. There also lack（lacks） concrete date（错误拼写data?还是另有解释？） to explicit whether people can obtain enough Ichthaid just eat fish every day. Thus, without provide these date, author cannot claim eating Ichthaid can prevent colds.（这一段的论证思路很好，但是can的用量多了些~建议做些替换）

Finally, it is also unconvincing that low colds rate can lower absenteeism, even without doubt the correctness of the relationship between Ichthaid and colds. It cannot preclude the possibility that cold is just a(an) excuse of people in WM to avoid go to company or work. Unless author can confirm that residents in WM are truly always have colds and this is the main reason of absenteeism, eating Ichthaid to obtain low colds rate have little use for WM to lower absenteeism.

To sum up, the points author mentioned are too weak to make assertion convincing. To make this assertion more logical, author should prove that people can prevent colds through(prevent ..from…固定用法) eating fish that have enough content of Ichthaid. To more convincing, author should make affirmation that high absenteeism in WM is mainly because of cold.

绿色是好的，特别值得我学习的；红色的是修改的
思路真的很清楚~尤其看提纲真的很舒服
文章思路也很清晰，只是用词和句形略显单一