TOEFL暑期集结号作文 第1次作业 by iscongcong

iscongcongUID: 2592112

With the advancement of new technologies, computer games are growing more and more prevalent and the associated industry correspondingly becomes more prosperous. Everything has its merits and demerits. In my opinion, it brings both positive and negative influences on people’s lives.
First, there is no denying that playing computer rendering a good way to relax and relieve pressure from daily life. Every time immersing myself in the amazing plot of the games, traveling with the heroes in the fantastic virtual world, I am totally free from the concern of everyday life. In addition, compute games help to bear team spirit. When we play computer games as a team, we are able to identify our worth in a team and are able to develop our ability to work with a team to be able to reach their common goal.
However, computer games may bring more disadvantages.
First, engrossing in computer games may waste a lot of time and energy which should be put into some more meaningful things. Considering that the games are so fascinating, some people may spend too much time in front of the screen or even be addicted, resulting in lack of communication and less time for work, study and exercise. Especially for the children who have weak ability of self-control, the game attracts too much of their attention, and they show little care of their primary mission--study; some of them may even drop in classes. Besides, the violence, sex and crime contents have extremely bad influence on the sound development of children.
Second, watching computer screen excessively would do harm to us. For one thing, the large amount of radiation will drain the eyes and bring harm to the skin. According to the scientists, those who face computers all day long have 30% more chance to get cancer, and they are more likely to catch some physical diseases. For another, playing computers takes up too much time which should be spent to do some outdoor sports benefiting for their health. Instead of running or walking in the outside, they prefer to sitting in front of the computer. They feel weary and tired because of lack of exercise.
Simply out, even though computer games are benefiting in some aspects, however, the demerits may outweigh the advantages.

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

people’s lives 人么的生命？？
大致看了下
总刻意的用长句子i不是什么好事情
对于TOEFL作文来说 长短句交错 错落有致 是比较好的
没有什么基础语法错误
而且标题说是 不允许children玩  文章论述的有些偏 至少也得提提