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TOPIC: ISSUE121 - "At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species."
WORDS: 559
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009-7-12 13:04:17
When we have little time to feel pathetic and pity about the extincted (extinct)animals, such as Flores Cave Rat and China South Tiger; we have to confront with other numerous species that brim to extinction. In the long run, people are more willing to ascribe the reasons to nature per se; just until recently, as shocked by this all-time long list of extincted (extinct)and extincting(endangered) animals, they(we) are courageous to face (face the responsibility觉得有点怪,是不是face the facts and take the responsibility 好一些)and take the responsibility in(for) preserving the extincting (endangered)animal and thus the harmony of whole nature.
In the past, some improvident geologists (geologists是地质学家意思,这里是生物学家吧)take the extinction of animal as granted-- it is nothing but common natural transaction(natural selection物尽天择). The animals inextricably affected by the change of their surroundings. For instance, the natural disasters, like flood, volcano activities and asteroid collision that tear the dinosaur away from earth. Meanwhile, their predator and symbiosis(前面是捕食者,后面是symbiosis是共生现象,不太好吧,要么说是共生动物?), which are undergoing tremendous change, would understandably influence the amount of animals. Moreover, some experts just explain(explain的对象应该是物尽天择的过程吧,explain the process of)
all the die-out animals by the natural selection. It is the nature that selects the most competent and suitable animals.(moreover后面两句有点意犹未尽的感觉,是不是补充点动物的带有排比意味的例子,点一下)
This ostensible reasons actually have indisputable relationship with human or human behaviors once we analyze (analyze的宾语是什么?是reasons还是濒危动物,还是人和动物的关系,有点不明)a litter deeper.(这一句话是对上段的质疑,this ostensible reasons到底指什么呢?是不是加一个同位语点下reason,或者把这句话丢在第一段段末会更好) Ever since the existence of human being, it is them who trigger the natural transformation (这里如果说改变的是自然环境trigger the living condition of species是不是比较好,和下文相对应)the most, by exploring the unknown, by meeting their demanding thirsty or by building, maintaining and expanding their prosperity. For instance, we enjoy the convenience of automobiles and the delicate gadgets (没明白delicate gadgets是指什么,这里加个享受什么动物皮毛大衣会更好吧)from the factories; however, we, simultaneously, push some species into wretched existence or even death. Because the arbitrarily emitted atmospheric particles (大气粒子?有点不恰当吧,而且block的是部分sunlight,s之前加个限定词)blocked sunlight, reducing the amount of solar energy reaching the Earth's surface, species that depended on photosynthesis declined or became extinct. Photosynthesizing organisms, including phytoplankton and land plants, formed(are) the foundation of the food chain. Evidence suggests that animals died out when the plants they depended on for food(for food不要)
became scarce; consequently, top predators(加个such as什么举个简单例)
also perished. Subsequently, excessive killing and indulgent cutting is the crucial factor that causes the change of enemy(这里觉得怪怪的,其实觉得change的就是环境) and symbiosis. As so clear in the aforementioned example, the nature depends on a delicate balance, even if we prey a bird, cut down a tree, or even just kill an insect, it would inevitably result in some interlocking effect in the nature.(这个kill an insect,是不是说得过了,想起了大家都灭小强和蜘蛛,那岂不是。。。) As for the natural selection, it is just the medium and method that embody the human behavior to the nature, through which the human behaviors and effect are transferred to the nature.(这句话有点不明了,而且是突然插一句物尽天择关人类什么。)
Just because of human's inescapable responsibility and immensity of the influence in the whole world, we have every reason to cast any resources and energy on saving the animals that board to extinction.(刚google了一下,应该是board sth extinction,如Board fights extinction from Topeka Capital-Journal , Dormant personnel appeals board faces extinction ) Obviously many geologists and naturalists realized the importance of gene diversity and are on the tough road to preserve the harmony of nature. Recently, numerous zoologists bring the extincting(extinct) wild life to natural parks or zoos for protection and conservation at the expense of tons of financial aids and manpower. On the other hand, some ego-centered individuals or even experts tenaciously claim that we can not give way to animals, those programs are too expensive and it is more economical to spend this money to help the dispirited, disadvantaged and disenfranchised (3d用得真棒)members of the society. However, if we continue this downward spiral
(这个d s我不懂是什么,单个翻译就是向下的螺旋,google查到的是一个摇滚方面的东西)we would put more resources and manpower to research dinosaur's DNA structure only from the fossil; and what's more, it would be only the matter of time that human beings would become an extincted(extinct) species sooner or later(已经说了the matter of time,不要再来sooner or later了). In this sense, those projects are not passive, undue or costly.(嘿嘿,P U C很有力量嘛,喜欢~)
In sum, human beings should take inescapable responsibility in breeding the transformation(breeding the transformation是不是有问题?不明其意) in nature and thus the extinction of wild species. Therefore, we should feel guilty about our behaviors and be adequately far-sighted to strike a balance between the long-time and contemporary cost-effectiveness of these programs.
1从结构思路来说,总体结构是很不错的,分层很清晰,但是文章说的是species,就包括了动物和植物,作者文章主要说的只有动物,对植物说得太少了。
2语言方面,有些譬如3d就运用的很棒,但是有些词语不知道是作者看过其用途还是觉得不错就用上,估计用的有一些比较高级的词是不是不太准确(有两个蓝色标示的,我不确定其用法,作者确定是正确的就好~) |