Argument67【Triple Week】第1次练习by david36355

david36355UID: 2603992

哭出来的第一篇……
TOPIC: ARGUMENT67 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a newspaper serving the villages of Castorville and Polluxton.
"Both the villages of Castorville and Polluxton have experienced sharp declines in the numbers of residents who pay property taxes. To save money and improve service, the two villages recently merged their once separate garbage collection departments into a single department located in Castorville, and the new department has reported few complaints about its service. Last year the library in Polluxton had 20 percent fewer users than during the previous year. It follows that we should now further economize and improve service, as we did with garbage collection, by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville to serve both villages."
WORDS: 260          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2009-7-12 11:56:57
Given some facts and analyses, the editor alleges the result of merging the libraries of Castorville and Polluxton to be positive, which is not the exact case.
Primarily, the garbages were merged for saving money and improving service. However, the fact that the merged garbage has few complaints could neither proof that the garbage makes more profit nor could imply the service really improved. Firstly, the financial problem was neglected according to the report. Secondly, few complaints do not necessarily imply the service condition. The details that how the complaints were collected, in what procedure the objections were conveyed to the government, whether the media system announcing the complaints functioned well, such information are still in the dark and to be revealed.
What`s more, the library in Polluxton ebbed in its users could not be alleged necessarily relative to the service and the money. On the contrary, the idea that the editor mentioned in the letter was to economize and improve service. There are various possibilities which causes the utilizers` declination, such as the lack of book resources, the rise of many competive book stores, or the population decrease caused by political incidents.
At last, even if the garbage case was a successful attempt, there`s no evidence could prove that the same way could work well on the libraries. What must be put into consideration is that, the garbage is a problem relative to the residents` every day life, on the other hand, reading in a liabrary as a habit could be easily abandoned for the distance of the library.

泡面UID: 2513568

Given some facts and analyses, the editor alleges the result of merging the libraries of Castorville and Polluxton to be positive, which is not the exact case. （很简洁，但是觉得还是应该把行文的整体大概逻辑讲进去）

Primarily, the garbages （garbage collection department) were merged for saving money and improving service. (少了一句陈述没有comlaints，否则下面那句太过唐突)However, the fact that the merged garbage （garbage coleection department) has few complaints could neither proof that the garbage (同上） makes more profit nor could imply the service really improved.
Firstly, the financial problem was neglected according to the report. Secondly, few complaints do not necessarily imply the service condition. （这句貌似应该放在前面primary那段）The details that how the complaints were collected, in what procedure the objections were conveyed to the government, whether the media system announcing the complaints functioned well, such information are still in the dark and to be revealed. What`s more, the library in Polluxton ebbed in its users could not be alleged necessarily relative to （relating to ) the service and the money.
On the contrary, the idea that the editor mentioned in the letter was to economize and improve service. There are various possibilities which causes the utilizers` declination, such as the lack of book resources, the rise of many competive (competitive) book stores, or the population decrease caused by political incidents (political incidents cause the decrease of readers?这个逻辑有点奇怪好像，需要近一步解释一下吧？）.

At last, even if the garbage case was a successful attempt, there`s no evidence could prove that the same way could work well on the libraries. What must be put into consideration is that, the garbage is a problem relative to (这个词用法不对） the residents every day life, on the other hand, reading in a liabrary (library) as a habit could be easily abandoned for the distance of the library. (好像这句话说的有点啰嗦，the location?)

1，逻辑错误是全部找出来了，但是罗列的有点乱。
2，他因找的很好
3，没有写完，需要个结尾段就可以了。