0910AW 同主题写作第五期 ARGUMENT65 by Brian Wang

brianwangboUID: 2643722

Argument 65
1)      1在新店里销售最好的5种奶酪是国内的，并不能推广到其他所有连锁店；并且由于5种奶酪还都是cheddar ---来自于Wisconsin，不能推广到国内其他奶酪也是如此畅销。
2)      2作者给出的调查不清楚，没有调查对象，也不一定具有代表性，这本杂志的调查数据可靠性有待考虑，可能是因为国内奶酪赞助而做出的一个并不足够真实的结果；影响大众购买的因素还有很多，例如：进口的奶酪确实很不错，但是由于价格较贵，因此订购人数没有国产奶酪多
3)      3此外，多年经营一直是贮存国产和进口的，如果改变这种模式好不好还不确定，品牌效应，供求链，商业合作关系等，如果没有周全的话可能会损失的更多。
4)      4并且结论也太草率了。也许由于进口奶酪品质较好，还是很有市场。而且可能进口奶酪的利润很高，因此销售还是很值得的。

In this argument, the author recommends that the best way to improve profits in all their stores is to discontinue stocking many of their imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this recommendation the author points out that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin last year. Moreover, the author also cites a survey done by Cheeses of the World magazine which indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Well-represented and seemingly logical though at first glance, close scrutiny of this evidence reveal that they lend little credible support for the author’s assertion.


As a threshold matter, one problem with the argument is that five best-selling cheeses from Wisconsin don’t mean all domestic cheeses are popular. Without analyzing data about the popularity of other domestic cheeses, the conclusion is unwarranted. Maybe other domestic cheeses are not sold as well as cheddar cheeses. Also new stores can’t represent the chain of cheese stores. In these stores best-selling cheeses might be imported cheeses.


Another evidence short of legitimacy is that the survey gives us an unclear data. Careful examination reveals that the author is failing to consider the validity of the survey. The survey may include the fact that the domestic cheese companies give financial support to the magazine. And the result of the survey is sham. To give consumers an illusion, the domestic cheese company may make more profits.


Aside from the survey’s statistical unreliability, in citing the survey the author makes a conclusion that they should discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese. This is such a hasty decision. Even if the sales volume of imported cheeses is less than domestic ones’, the company maybe can get more profits from the imported cheeses. Any of these scenarios, if true, would undermine the author’s conclusion.


To sum up, perhaps the arguer has some otherwise sound reasons for his argument, but the evidences and the reasoning mentioned above are not sufficient and well grounded. For example, to better bolster the argument, the author should conduct a survey around the country to show if consumers like the domestic cheeses more. Which kinds of cheeses in all stores except new ones are best-selling cheeses? The answer arouses my great interest. Therefore, any final conclusion should not be drawn unless more detailed and convincing evidences are available。

tmytgzzxyUID: 2628459

1# brianwangbo
Argument 65
1)      1在新店里销售最好的5种奶酪是国内的，并不能推广到其他所有连锁店；并且由于5种奶酪还都是cheddar ---来自于Wisconsin，不能推广到国内其他奶酪也是如此畅销。
2)      2作者给出的调查不清楚，没有调查对象，也不一定具有代表性，这本杂志的调查数据可靠性有待考虑，可能是因为国内奶酪赞助而做出的一个并不足够真实的结果；影响大众购买的因素还有很多，例如：进口的奶酪确实很不错，但是由于价格较贵，因此订购人数没有国产奶酪多
3)      3此外，多年经营一直是贮存国产和进口的，如果改变这种模式好不好还不确定，品牌效应，供求链，商业合作关系等，如果没有周全的话可能会损失的更多。
4)      4并且结论也太草率了。也许由于进口奶酪品质较好，还是很有市场。而且可能进口奶酪的利润很高，因此销售还是很值得的。

In this argument, the author recommends that the best way to improve profits in all their stores is to discontinue stocking many of their imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this recommendation the author points out that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin last year. Moreover, the author also cites a survey done by Cheeses of the World magazine which indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Well-represented and seemingly logical though at first glance, close scrutiny of this evidence reveal that they lend little credible support for the author’s assertion.


As a threshold matter, one problem with the argument is that five best-selling cheeses from Wisconsin don’t mean all domestic cheeses are popular. Without analyzing data about the popularity of other domestic cheeses, the conclusion is unwarranted. Maybe other domestic cheeses are not sold as well as cheddar cheeses. Also new stores can’t represent the chain of cheese stores. In these （有点指代不明）stores best-selling cheeses might be imported cheeses.


Another evidence short of legitimacy is that the survey gives us an unclear data. Careful examination reveals that the author is failing to consider the validity of the survey. The survey may include the fact that the domestic cheese companies give financial support to the magazine. And the result of the survey is sham. To give consumers an illusion, the domestic cheese company may make more profits. （survey还有很多可批的地方 比如调查人数 特殊性等）


Aside from the survey’s statistical unreliability, in citing the survey the author makes a conclusion that they should discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese. This is such a hasty decision. Even if the sales volume of imported cheeses is less than domestic ones’, the company maybe can get more profits from the imported cheeses. Any of these scenarios, if true, would undermine the author’s conclusion.


To sum up, perhaps the arguer has some otherwise sound reasons for his argument, but the evidences and the reasoning mentioned above are not sufficient and well grounded. For example, to better bolster the argument, the author should conduct a survey around the country to show if consumers like the domestic cheeses more. Which kinds of cheeses in all stores except new ones are best-selling cheeses? The answer arouses my great interest. Therefore, any final conclusion should not be drawn unless more detailed and convincing evidences are available。

我觉得论证没有大问题 语言也不错  应该注意每个段落有个总结比较好

brianwangboUID: 2643722

Thx a lot!! 2# tmytgzzxy