0910AW SPECTACULAR 之【 同主题写作】第十期 ISSUE48 by stdtt

swdtt123UID: 2497585

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 479
TIME: 00:32:58
DATE: 7/24/2009 3:04:36 PM

I agree with the speaker's assertion that the study of history should pay some attention to the group of people whose identities have long been forgotten. However the author unnecessary extends the assertion to ignoring the importance of the individual who has a big mind. My point of contention with the speaker is the function of the famous individual. To better show my viewpoint, let me illustrate it in detail

To begin with I concede the author on the corrective philosophy side of the issue. After all history belongs to everybody who makes contribution to it. For instance, without millions of common people’s hard work whose identities have long been forgotten, The Great Wall would not stand in the world. Without their work we will not admire the greatest project today and it is absurd to imagine that only few famous people can finish these as well, So that we should not ignore their payment for the history.

In facet, we should not pay some attention to the common people into our scope to do research on and recognize the history, for they are not the special sample for us to understand the thought of them and the development rule of the history. On the contrary the most significant trends of events and famous people are based on the people's needs and desires, it means that the famous few like as the peak of the mountain of history which can represent the spirit and the significant and trends of the history. So that we will save a lot of time to grasp the main of times. For instance, when people refer to the Civil War, The Present Lincoln and his statement to liberate salves are appeared in our minds. At that time what he thought and did in some degree stand for the sprite of his time. That is also saved our time of study in history and can grasp it effectively.

If we give up the study of individuals we must pay much more attention to study and analysis lots of samples. Even we did these things; we can not get the main point and the rule of the history. Famous individuals in the history stand for and lead the development of the history just like the paw which leads the human beings going out the primitive society; the steamer which leads us into engine time; the internet forms the primary power of the information time. So we should emphasis on individuals.

In summary, for the history is a combination of the two aspects, we should find a balance way to treat these two aspects during the study of history. On the one hand we should place emphasis on the famous few, and on the other hand we should pay some attention to the forgotten identities. That is the effective and justify attitude to face the history objectively.

cixitomUID: 2610506

I agree with the speaker's assertion that the study of history should pay some attention to the group of people whose identities have long been forgotten.(作者并没有说 要关注groups of people 而是说太关注individuals了 这个有点偏了吧) However the author unnecessary extends the assertion to ignoring(作者只是说too much 没说要ignore) the importance of the individual who has a big mind.（啥意思啊？） My point of contention with the speaker is the function of the famous individual. To better show my viewpoint, let me illustrate it in details.

To begin with I concede the author on the corrective philosophy side of the issue. After all history belongs to everybody who makes contribution to it. For instance, without millions of common people’s hard work whose identities have long been forgotten, The Great Wall would not stand in the world. Without their work we will not admire the greatest project today and it is absurd to imagine that only few famous people can finish these as well, So that we should not ignore their payment for the history.

In facet, we should not pay some attention to the common people into our scope to do research on and recognize the history, for they are not the special sample for us to understand the thought of them and the development rule of the history. On the contrary the most significant trends of events and famous people are based on the people's needs and desires, it means that the famous few like as the peak of the mountain of history which can represent the spirit and the significant and trends of the history. So that we will save a lot of time to grasp the main of times. For instance, when people refer to the Civil War, The Present Lincoln and his statement to liberate salves are appeared in our minds. At that time what he thought and did in some degree stand for the sprite of his time. That is also saved our time of study in history and can grasp it effectively.

If we give up the study of individuals we must pay much more attention to study and analysis lots of samples. Even we did these things; we can not get the main point and the rule of the history. Famous individuals in the history stand for and lead the development of the history just like the paw which leads the human beings going out the primitive society; the steamer which leads us into engine time; the internet forms the primary power of the information time. So we should emphasis on individuals.
（感觉对群众的作用论述还不够只有body 中的第一段 因为你是平衡的观点 相对后面两段都在讲要pay attention to individuals 第一段薄弱了一点 或者把论点改一改 承认群众的作用但是个人更重要 这样可能会好一点）
还有一点是 文中用了很多排比的例子 气势是上来了 但是总感觉 单薄了 能深入点更好。

In summary, for the history is a combination of the two aspects, we should find a balance way to treat these two aspects during the study of history. On the one hand we should place emphasis on the famous few, and on the other hand we should pay some attention to the forgotten identities. That is the effective and justified attitude to face the history objectively

前几天又事情 没改 不好意思啊~~~