Argument53【Triple Week】第7次练习by newletter2002

newletter2002UID: 2653136

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 429          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2009-7-26 8:41:50
In this argument, the author gets the conclusion that the infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to a unfamiliar odor or voice is because that they were conceived in early autumn and also why they are shy now is the result of the time when they were conceived. At first glance, the conlusion might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveals that it contains several unconvincing assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive.
First of all, the argument claims that the infants who showed signs of mild distrss when exposed to a unfamiliar odor or voice is because that they were conceived in early fall, and automatically assumes that it  is the result of melatonin. However, this might not be the case. The arguer obviously overlooks other possible explanations for this phenomenon. For example, perhaps these kind of infants are just sensitive to voice or odor whether they are familiar or not, or perhaps these infants grow  upon with a quiet place and have never touch these kinds of odors or voices beofre. Without ruling out such possibilities. I cannot accept the arguer's point of this.
Second, even assuming that the time when they are conceived effects their reflection of odors and voice and melatonin which their producted affect some brain functions. We can not get the conclusion that melatonin affect their reflection of odors and voice. It is possible that melatonin affect other brain functions such as afraid, happy, the change of weather. The auguer fails to account for other possible causes of the melatonin and there is no medical envidence says that melatonin affect these kinds of brain functions, I can not agree with it.
Third, even I concede that melatonin affect infant of their reflection of odors and voice. The arguer entirely think this is the result of what makes their become shy. However the arguer ignores some other matters, such as their academic environment and   home environment, which might achieve the same, even much more serious effect.
Finally, since the children now are shy , the arguer claims that shyness will continues into later life without any envidence. Maybe when they get into middle school, they will get in touch with more and more students and take part in some club.They can be jazzed up by group events. And they will change to have a sunny personality. Without thinking about these alternatives, we cannot accept that the arguer's claim about the personality of these children will not change.
To sum up, the arguer's conclusion about the result of children's reflection of odors and voice   is not well supported as it stands.
最后一段实在是说不出来了

danielgaoysUID: 2600690

In this argument, the author gets the conclusion that the infants whoshowed signs of mild distress when exposed to a unfamiliar odor orvoice is because that they were conceived in early autumn and also whythey are shy now is the result of the time when they were conceived. Atfirst glance, the conlusion might be somehow reasonable, but closescrutiny reveals that it contains several unconvincing assumptions andis therefore unpersuasive.
First of all, the argument claims that the infants who showed signs ofmild distrss when exposed to a unfamiliar odor or voice is because thatthey were conceived in early fall, and automatically assumes thatit  is the result of melatonin. However, this might not be the case.The arguer obviously overlooks other possible explanations for thisphenomenon. For example, perhaps these kind of infants are justsensitive to voice or odor whether they are familiar or not, or perhapsthese infants grow  upon with a quiet place and have never touch thesekinds of odors or voices beofre. Without ruling out such possibilities.I cannot accept the arguer's point of this.(of this 有点多余，应该去掉)
Second(Secondly), even assuming that the time when they are conceived effectstheir reflection of odors and voice and melatonin which their productedaffect some brain functions. We can not get the conclusion thatmelatonin affect their reflection of odors and voice. It is possiblethat melatonin affect other brain functions such as afraid, happy, thechange of weather. The auguer fails to account for other possiblecauses of the melatonin and there is no medical envidence says thatmelatonin affect these kinds of brain functions, I can not agree withit.
Third, even I concede that melatonin affect infant of their reflectionof odors and voice. The arguer entirely（这个用词有点奇怪，没怎么看过这样用，也可能是我孤陋寡闻。。。） think this is the result ofwhat makes their become shy. However the arguer ignores some othermatters, such as their academic environment and   home environment,which might achieve the same, even much more serious effect.
Finally, since the children now are shy , the arguer claims thatshyness will continues into later life without any envidence. Maybewhen they get into middle school, they will get in touch with more andmore students and take part in some club.They can be jazzed up by groupevents. And they will change to have a sunny personality. Withoutthinking about these alternatives, we cannot accept that the arguer'sclaim about the personality of these children will not change.
To sum up, the arguer's conclusion about the result of children'sreflection of odors and voice   is not well supported as it stands.

总体感觉四个论点上下衔接紧密，具有说服力，是一篇不错的argument

newletter2002UID: 2653136

谢谢肯定 之前一直被人P说我的逻辑不清 我会继续努力