0910AW 同主题写作第十二期 ISSUE43 by 家家（修改 by 草木也知愁）

家家☆yoonjaeUID: 2646910

43"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

Accompany the corruption and graft problem, as well as the political scandals, being revealed more and more frequently in coeval society, the public start to reflect upon the qualities and requirements of an official. People in increasingly amount are calling for the higher ethical and moral standards in the government faculty; accordingly, the personal integrity and morals of the officials are arousing both the public and the governmental awareness. It is definitely essential for an official to maintain upper ethical and moral standards; moreover, he also should be "well-equipped" in other related areas.

For one thing, it is imperative for the official to maintain higher morals and virtues as they stand in more generalized position of the whole society. An outstanding official always be an effective leader simultaneously, he must have propriety, righteousness, integrity and honor, and he should be kind, helpful, decisive and fascinating. We are always able to find out such quality of those eximious political leaders, for instance, Abraham Lincoln, who was the most beloved American President in the history, was a virtuous and ingenuous person. Lincoln President was accessible all the time, he used his humor and wisdom to resolve those cynical words and inimical reprehensions; he stood in the Negro slaves' position and finally achieved the significant liberation. His pardon and persistence made he win in the election and the public esteem. Higher morals and virtues not only be good for an official himself, but also make him get more supports from the public which is beneficial to actualize better social interests furthermore.

In contrast, we can distinctly ascertain those counterexamples that being morally bad or wrong always end in failure even ruination. Morality is an immanent and vital trait for an excellent leader, although someone can perform wonderful etiquettes and behaviors outwardly, he would absolutely lose repute of the community once his seamy actions were found, even if, he had fabulous and illustrious generalship. Hitler, who can be the typical example, had tremendous ability in directing battles and military arrangements, in the early year of his reign, some of his economic measures had enabled the German economy out of the mire of post-First World War and then made he obtain the support of the people power; however, he ignored humanity and ethics to massacre Jews, besides, he was utterly isolated because of his violent and self-willed. Hitler was the guy who once almost owns the whole Europe, but his horrible value and character caused his terminal failure and notoriety. It is obvious that the official acquires advocacy from the people on the base of their popular ethical and moral standards.

In addition, an effective public official should also be asked for other capabilities. As we all known, the governmental administrative functions include several elements, such like the political functions, economic functions, cultural and educational functions and social service functions; thus, the quality of government’s officials should be adequate. Excludes morals, an eligible official also need to be capable, diligent and to perform satisfying performance. A public official should stand in a generalized position, take the public interest first, and use his knowledge and skill by following the demand of social progress and economic development.

In short, upper ethic and moral standards are the requirement of a splendid official; meanwhile, other qualities are required. Effective officials should be those people who are more virtuous and ambitious in the talents.

草木也知愁UID: 2487572

43"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

Accompany the corruption and graft problem, as well as the political scandals, being revealed more and more frequently in coeval society, the public start to reflect upon the qualities and requirements of an official.（这句话不错~） People, in increasingly amount,(插入语要用逗号隔开的) are calling for the（X） higher ethical and moral standards in the（X）government faculty（有 faculty in government 的搭配，不过in government faculty的搭配没有见过呃）; accordingly, the（X）personal integrity and morals of the（X）officials are arousing both the public and the（X,呃 可能对the的用法我和yin不一样吧，下来咱讨论下）governmental awareness. It is definitely essential for an official to maintain upper ethical and moral standards; moreover, he（he or she） also should be "well-equipped" in other related areas. (这个thesis statement把关键词都涉及了，挺好的，不过后半句这个就不好了呃，跟着题目来就可以了，再扯到其他领域如果驾驭不好会跑题滴...回应一句然后自己开始自说自话是特别危险的一种跑题思路)

For one thing, it is imperative for the official to maintain higher morals and virtues as they stand in more generalized position of the whole society. An outstanding official always be（is是不是更通顺些？） an effective leader simultaneously, he must have propriety, righteousness, integrity and honor, and he should be kind, helpful, decisive and fascinating. We are always able to find out such quality of those eximious political leaders, for instance, Abraham Lincoln, who was the most beloved American President in the history, was a virtuous and ingenuous person. Lincoln President（呃 应该是 President  Lincoln） was accessible all the time, he used his humor and wisdom to resolve those cynical words and inimical reprehensions; he stood in the Negro slaves' position and finally achieved the significant liberation. His pardon and persistence made he win in the election and the public esteem. （这里说的不错，照应了有点，不过要是再朝着ethical and moral standards阐述的更近一些就更好了，同时前面你提到的那个八个词最好都能涉及到）Higher morals and virtues not only be good for an official himself, but also make him get more supports from the public which is beneficial to actualize better social interests furthermore（这句话算是一个论点的加深，一定要在这里做好阐述工作的，不要留给rater任何一个没有被展开过的论点）.

词汇、语法和句型上感觉上了一个档次，做的不错~


In contrast, we can distinctly ascertain those counterexamples that being morally bad or wrong always end in failure even ruination. Morality is an immanent and vital trait for an excellent leader, although someone can perform wonderful etiquettes and behaviors outwardly, he would absolutely lose repute of the community once his seamy actions were found, even if, he had fabulous and illustrious generalship（好长的一句...虽然阅读起来没有障碍而且论述的时候也做的不错，但是还是切断的好）. Hitler（如果要是用Hitler作反例的话，其实前面用Lincoln反倒不如用Roosevelt，这样还能增加例子彼此之间的衔接性）, who can be the（a） typical example, had tremendous ability in directing battles and military arrangements, in the early year of his reign, some of his economic measures had enabled the German economy out of the mire of post-First World War and then made he obtain the support of the people power（这里可以增加一些笔墨，去展示“effective”这点）; however, he ignored humanity and ethics to massacre Jews, besides, he was utterly isolated because of his violent and self-willed. Hitler was the guy who once almost owns the whole Europe, but his horrible value and character caused his terminal failure and notoriety（这里最好再调整一下顺序，先说他 ethical and moral standards的低下，然后再说后果，这样更清晰而且切题）. It is obvious that the official acquires advocacy from the people on the base of their popular ethical and moral standards（最好能再深挖一步，去和上一段做一个强对比，加深效果）.

In addition, an effective public official should also be asked for other capabilities（这个论点其实可有可无，因为已经跳出了topic要你说的东西了，人家只是给了一个必要性的命题，单独拿出一段做充分性的论述有些画蛇添足）. As we all known, the governmental administrative functions include several elements, such like the political functions, economic functions, cultural and educational functions and social service functions; thus, the quality of government’s officials should be adequate. Excludes morals, an eligible official also need to be capable, diligent and to perform satisfying performance. A public official should stand in a generalized position, take the public interest first, and use his knowledge and skill by following the demand of social progress and economic development（这段话里我推荐一个思路吧：就是把上面的说的那些都归到moral standard那里，把ms当做一个根源，这样既算是深挖了主题了，也算是不偏题）.

In short, upper ethic and moral standards are the requirement of a splendid official; meanwhile, other qualities are required. Effective officials should be those people who are more virtuous and ambitious in the talents.

这篇写的挺好的，把上面说的那些点都充实好了的话，真的考试如果遇见这篇那分数会不错滴

家家☆yoonjaeUID: 2646910

闪现~ 草草辛苦~~ 发贝贝HIA HIA HIA

zinc05UID: 2629768

提个小意见：
make sb. do sth. 中的sb.应该为宾格形式。
如“His pardon and persistence made he win in the election and the public esteem.”中he应该为him。

家家☆yoonjaeUID: 2646910

>.<  收到，谢谢楼上滴童鞋~ 一限时就容易抽搐。。咳咳。。

wdassfmUID: 2542447

2# 草木也知愁

额……知道斑竹很忙，但是能不能抽出一点点是看看下我作文（ISSUE 43）的提纲，因为我看到跟大多数人的思路好像不一样，不知道是不是有跑题的嫌疑。。。
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-991170-1-1.html